| Latest articles: Why are so many people in abusive relationships/marriages?
This question has 7 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
20 June 2010: I read so many questions about people stuck in "abusive relationship"s and marriages and I can't help but wonder: 1. how did this happen? I mean, why do people let themselves be stepped on like that? Why do people treat their significant o...
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I feel like my skin is awful and I can't let anyone see it without makeup
Q. Okay I've never talked to anyone about this before, here it goes. It's weird.. So, I hate letting people see me in natural lighting. Like out side and stuff, or even in a really well lite room. I hate my skin, my complexion is horrible. I have...
A. 23 July 2011: Well what really helped clearing my own skin was cleaning up my diet and working out. Creams and such will only go so far as they only penetrate the first layer of the skin. Eat more veggies, more protein, less junk. Work out 2 or 3 times a week. ... (read in full...)
Does she want to have an affair with me?
Q. Hi Cupids. I am a married man and I am friendly with a married woman whose daughter is in gymnastics with my two daughters. Recently she has been confiding in me about how her husband and her don't do things together and that she is unhappy...
A. 20 July 2011: I wouldn't touch this with a ten feet pole. Keep it safe, whatever her intentions or your attraction to her. Simply say you feel sorry her marriage isn't what she wants it to be and that maybe she should talk to her husband about this and try to ... (read in full...)
Ladies - do you 'reward' a guy if he makes the extra effort?
Q. This is not really a problem, more just another question to help with my understanding of the opposite sex. I need all the help I can get in that regard, and Im not the most outgoing guy in the world, also a bit shy. I have experienced a co...
A. 20 July 2011: Definitely! I love it when a guy puts in the extra effort. It doesn't have to be much, but little things to let a girl know you care are always good.
Like when in the early stages you passingly mention your birthday and weeks later when the day ... (read in full...)
I feel like my skin is awful and I can't let anyone see it without makeup
Q. Okay I've never talked to anyone about this before, here it goes. It's weird.. So, I hate letting people see me in natural lighting. Like out side and stuff, or even in a really well lite room. I hate my skin, my complexion is horrible. I have...
A. 20 July 2011: If your skin is causing this much trouble, I think it would be advisable to get treatments done at the beauty parlor. They have anti blemish/acne treatments that significantly improve the appearance of your skin. It's expensive, but I've seen good ... (read in full...)
I'm worried about his lack of interests and goals!
Q. Dear Cupid, I am having relationship problems, well obviously if I am asking for yalls opinions. I am in a relationship with a guy who is madly in love with me. Every girls dream right? Well wrong in my case. Don't get me wrong, I love him...
A. 19 July 2011: A lot of people go through the clueless phase at your age. I used to be a card carrying member of the club that didn't know what to do with their lives. Sometimes, education isn't clarifying at all. Sometimes it leaves you wondering what exactly ... (read in full...)
Do I keep my baby and raise it with a man who won't even let me finish school because he is afraid I will "meet" someone new? Or do I abort it and go back to the guy who possibly fathered my child, denies it, yet wants to rebuild our relationship? ?
Q. I'm not on here to be judged. I'm here to get honest heartfelt opinions from people who don't know me. Here is my story, I'm 18 years old, high school drop out, been through the bad and the good. My life is not one to be judged, I was in court bat...
A. 18 July 2011: Since your whole life has pretty much been about other people deciding what's good for you, other people pulling you towards one side or another and taking advantage of you, stop for a moment and consider what YOU WANT in life.
Do you want to ... (read in full...)
16 year old wanting to lose 10-20 pounds. Any tips?
Q. Hi i want to lose 10-20 pounds. can someone tellme how to do it? Im 16 years old im not sure exactly how much i weigh but im of average weight and i just want to be a little more skinny for looks but mainly i want to be healthy and make sure im...
A. 17 July 2011: First of all: don't concentrate on the weight numbers, concentrate on what you see in the mirror and how your clothes fit. Fixation on weight could land you in eating disorder land and that's not where you want to be (trust me I know, I was there at ... (read in full...)
I think it's out of order him accusing me of things I haven't even done!
Q. I'm really angry right now! My boyfriend of 2 and a half yes text me saying can I trust you? He has been on my phone and I have been texting one of my friends from school. And all i was on about is "how hes life is now being a new uncle!" ...
A. 14 July 2011: OP, what do you mean he isn't like this? He just showed you he is.
I would tell him: "Do you really think so lowly of me that you have to ask me this when I'm congratulating a friend on being an uncle?" That should put him in his place. Jealousy... (read in full...)
Girls: Have you ever been rejected?
Q. Girls have you ever approached a guy and had him reject you? I am not talking about being dumped. I am talking about when you first meet a guy, you put yourself out there and ask him out and he shoots you down. I have this theory. Most girls seem ...
A. 12 July 2011: Sorry to burst your bubble but I got rejected plenty of times. I usually don't wait around for the guy I fancy to make a move on me because he may mistake my lack of action as a sign of disinterest.
I usually start out by giving hints, to test ... (read in full...)
I think this is the best I can get out of life....what do you think??
Q. I feel like i failed in my life because i never had a girlfriend. I never had one. I had a bad childhood, never had any friends at school. Only have a couple of friends now. I'm 21 now, I had spend my night watching porn, playing videogam...
A. 12 July 2011: Michiel, try not to see these posts as an attack on you personally. Not so long ago, whenever someone told me something that seemed like criticism, I would get in denial because I couldn't admit to myself that what I was doing may not be the best ... (read in full...)
I think this is the best I can get out of life....what do you think??
Q. I feel like i failed in my life because i never had a girlfriend. I never had one. I had a bad childhood, never had any friends at school. Only have a couple of friends now. I'm 21 now, I had spend my night watching porn, playing videogam...
A. 11 July 2011: I'll start with a disclaimer. On this site, people don't always sugarcoat it. I'm going to write what I thought based on your post. Use what you can, ignore what you can't. Now, onto your question: is this going to be the best you can get out of ... (read in full...)
Can I make it through life without learning how to drive?
Q. every one i know including my family thinks i am unintelligent just because i can not drive a car. Ive tried and tried and just cant grasp it. i have not even made it past the permit part yet because the test to me is so confusing and the answers ...
A. 10 July 2011: Being nervous will do that to you, OP. I don't think you are a bad driver. But nerves screw up a lot of things. It makes a huge difference in your performance. I remember getting out of the car sore after every lesson because I tensed up so much ... (read in full...)
Can I make it through life without learning how to drive?
Q. every one i know including my family thinks i am unintelligent just because i can not drive a car. Ive tried and tried and just cant grasp it. i have not even made it past the permit part yet because the test to me is so confusing and the answers ...
A. 9 July 2011: My friend is engaged to a guy who cannot drive. His eyesight isn't too great and he simply doesn't feel safe on the road. He's tried to get a driver's licence, but failed each time. My friend doesn't mind. She knows of his struggles and she happily ... (read in full...)
Why do women get involved with married men (or men who are in committed relationships) and stay with them for years together, waiting for "their man" to leave his wife/mate?
Q. Why do women (of all ages)get involved with married men (or men who are in committed relationships) and in some instances stay with them for many, many, years, waiting and hoping for "their man" to leave his wife/mate? Despite you academic success, ...
A. 8 July 2011: Because though people tend to be fairly realistic in gauging the outcome of a situation that's happening to others, when it comes to themselves they have an unrealistic (and often positive) expectation. The whole "that happens to other people but ... (read in full...)
Have you never had a girlfriend because you're too picky?
Q. I have a serious question for men who have never ever had a girlfriend in their life. I'm noticing a serious pattern between you guys. Why are you guys so picky? I was playing matchmaker for some of my male "never had a gf in their life" friends and ...
A. 8 July 2011: You have a point--to a degree.
Though I'm not a man, (though I think men and women are not so different in that regard.) I was boyfriendless and a virgin till age 22 and part of why it took me that long was because I wanted to find the right gu... (read in full...)
Is there any point to dating and relationships if you are infertile?
Q. My partners ex, was fertile and had children for my partner. I am infertile and cannot have any children. My partner seems okay with this, but his mother told me that I should do the right thing and leave him, so he can have a family and be happy ...
A. 8 July 2011: Tisha is right. This is nonsense. Why should the only legacy we leave behind be a child? If that's the purpose of life, why do we even bother with everything else? Please start thinking more highly of yourself. You deserve to happy just as much as ... (read in full...)
I don't want to like big women anymore!
Q. Okay people, I have a serious problem, I like bigger girls, like huge girls, and even making them gain weight for my pleasure, for some reason I find them highly attractive, but I don't like this attraction, I am also afraid my family would ridicule ...
A. 5 July 2011: OP, why exactly do you want to be attracted to thinner girls? Can you explain that for me?... (read in full...)
How do I pursuade my b/f to break the boundaries that we set up?
Q. Im 15 and me and my boyfriend were makingout. I dont know why i did this but i pressured him into touching my breast we both thonk we took it to far but i want it more now. How do i perrsude him to break the boundries and also why did i have the ...
A. 30 June 2011: You're smack dab in the middle of puberty. These urges are caused by hormonal changes and fluctuations in you. You're body is pretty much trying to find a balance between the kid you once was and the woman you're going to be. Sexual urges are part ... (read in full...)
I don't want to like big women anymore!
Q. Okay people, I have a serious problem, I like bigger girls, like huge girls, and even making them gain weight for my pleasure, for some reason I find them highly attractive, but I don't like this attraction, I am also afraid my family would ridicule ...
A. 29 June 2011: The only problem I see is when you try to encourage an already big girl to gain weight because that's bad for her health. But other than that I see nothing wrong with your preference.
Some guys prefer skinny girls, some guys prefer slim, athletic... (read in full...)
Do I have to meet him? Is it possible that he is still in love with me?
Q. please help me, this is the scenario: my ex-bf and i been together for almost 6yrs until he went to dubai for work. we had long distance relationship for more than a year until his american citizen old classmate who was in USA pop into his ...
A. 28 June 2011: If you have any self respect, don't take him back. He doesn't seem to be concerned about your feelings, he only cares about his own wants. He is doing this because he wants to use you again, like he did before. This guy is a cheater, he cheated on ... (read in full...)
My best friend's wife hates me when there is nothing romantic about my relationship with her husband! What can I do?
Q. ok i have a male best friend i mean we are even closer then best friends more like brother and sister hes 9 years older then me. he calls himself my gaurdian angel and thats what he is. he helps me i help him. anyways hes married and has 2 kids. in ...
A. 28 June 2011: I think I would talk to the wife. Tell her you've heard from her children that she hates you and that you would have preferred to have heard it from her the moment she started having a problem with you. Ask her what exactly is bothering her so much ... (read in full...)
Why shouldn't I be embarrassed about being a virgin?
Q. Hey, I just have a quick question. I asked everyone here a while back whether I should tell my girlfriend that I'm a virgin or not and people kept telling me I shouldn’t be embarrassed about it. Why? Why shouldn’t I? Most guys loose their the vcar...
A. 26 June 2011: I lost my V-card at 22. Where I come from, this is unheard of. Or that's the impression every youngster gives. The truth is I never had a problem with being a virgin. I had a very busy life, between my studies, an ill mom and an autistic brother, I ... (read in full...)
He has hit me before, but it was a accident...
Q. I need advice, My live in boyfriend is a great guy but he has a very bad past. His father beat him and his mother all the time till she divorced him. I am scared he will turn out like him because he is very mean to me at times and he has hit me ...
A. 26 June 2011: History repeats itself often. People who grow up in violence are more likely to become violent themselves than others who grew up in a stable home. That's what they know, hate and often people become what they hate eventually.
My mom had anorexia... (read in full...)
Parasite Girlfriend is running me dry. What can I do?
Q. HELP!!!!! I am in a relationship with a girl I live with and have been dating for 2 years. Ever since I met her I have been paying all her bills. You name it I pay for everything...cell phone, car payment, rent, clothing, food, child support ...
A. 25 June 2011: Why are you still with her?
#1. She is sucking all the cash away from you
#2. She keeps looking/flirting with other men
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#3. conclusion: she is a gold digger. Finally you're starting to realize this. So be blunt and dump her. Bi... (read in full...)
Somebody is 'planting' panties
Q. My wife recently discovered a pair of panties which were obviously planted by (we suspect) during a recent visit by an envious/jealous guests (younger adult neice). Luckily, my wife knows I had nothing to do with the matter. Any suggestions on how ...
A. 25 June 2011: Just wanted to give a nod to Tisha's answer. I think that would be the most diplomatic manner to handle the situation. You'll get the message across (literally) without accusing her of anything. You don't want to get stuck in a family feud. ... (read in full...)
He obviously wants more. Can I keep him as a friend? Or just tell him it was only sex, nothing more?
Q. About 5 to 6 years ago I dated this guy Joe for about a week, I was his first and only girlfriend. I was the new kid still and he made me laugh. For whatever reason I broke up with him and over the years I have been hearing things that solidified my ...
A. 25 June 2011: You can't be honest and not hurt his feelings. There simply is no easy way to let someone down. It's like ripping off a bandaid; do it fast and the pain is short, do it slow and drag it out, which ends up hurting much more.
He'll get over it.... (read in full...)
Why do women care so much about men having a job?
Q. I am 39 and have never been able to get a job, so I have never been able to find love. And am still a virgin! Why do women care sooooooo much about this job thing? Why can't I be the one who does the housework and take the kids to school ect. ...
A. 19 June 2011: I live in a very small village and I have to travel atleast 2 hours to get anywhere. I work two jobs. One from at home, one in a clothing store while. At the same time I'm getting fulltime education to ensure my future. I'm an average girl, nothing ... (read in full...)
LDR boyfriend refuses to talk about my miscarriage!
Q. Hey guys, I posted a while back about wheather to tell my long distance boyfriend that I'd had a miscariage. I didn't know I was pregnant and there was complications with the miscariage I was very ill. Of course I told him and ever since thing...
A. 19 June 2011: This may be a bit too personal, but why were you trying to have a baby in an LDR relationship, at such a young age? It is sad to lose a child in such a way and having the one person who is supposed to support you in this go cold on you.
Losin... (read in full...)
Disappointed in engagement ring, am I being selfish?
Q. I'm interested in your opinions. My boyfriend was engaged before he met me. He bought her a very beautiful $7000 ring, for which he spent all his savings on. The relationship failed and she returned the ring. After us being together for ov...
A. 19 June 2011: Hmm, though I can certainly understand where you're coming from you have to look at it from his perspective as well. He spent his savings on his ex fiancee, spending 7000 dollar on her ring alone. The relationship failed and he only got 3500 back ... (read in full...)
Why is my partner with me when there are so many beautiful women out there?
Q. Why is my partner with me when there are so many better looking women out there? I don't get it, its not just me and my partner. I see some men/women date and marry people who are rather unattractive, when they can be out there dating someone g...
A. 19 June 2011: Okay, I see 3 issues:
#1. You seem insecure about your looks and feel like you're dating someone out of your league. Lose that. There's no such thing as a league, not in the real world. Your boyfriend picked you for a reason. Just because his ex w... (read in full...)
Would you think it OK to kiss her if you were in the same situation?
Q. I met this girl about 2 weeks ago and we've got on so well and I really liked her from the beginning. From what I've heard from my friends she likes me as well, but the problem is that since she's a work experience student and will be leaving ...
A. 19 June 2011: I don't see a problem. The age of consent for sex is 16 in your country, if my memory serves me right, but since all you're talking about is kissing I see no problem. If you don't take a chance you might lose track of each other.
Go get her, tig... (read in full...)
Does my fiance fancy my daughter???
Q. I don't know if I am crazy or not. Sometimes I just think I am paranoid due to my own past issues. Sometimes I think I should listen to my gut. I've been with my fiance for 5 years. We've lived together for 2 years. I sometimes feel that he has been ...
A. 19 June 2011: Trust and love are the foundations of a successful, lasting marriage. The one is crumbling and I haven't heard much about the second. OP, ask yourself these questions:
- Can you marry this man with these fears in your mind?
Because no matter ho... (read in full...)
I bruise really easily and people think I'm being abused!
Q. Hey, I do martial arts training and I'm the dojo's assistant. I've recently become good enough to be used to demonstrate techniques, and although I land safe enough I always end up with bruises in very difficult to conceal places. I use...
A. 17 June 2011: You're very welcome! It was nice talking to someone with the same problem. ... (read in full...)
BF upset younger sister is having a baby. Anything I can say to help?
Q. Well I'm 20 and my boyfriend is 38. Yes I know it's a big age difference but we've been together for over a year and a half and he is the love of my life. He has an older sister, a younger sister and an older brother. Obviously his older siblings ...
A. 17 June 2011: I'll start by saying I could be wrong and that the following is based on a guess. Please do not be offended if it does not apply to your situation. I'm not a psychic. Anyway, here goes:
I have a feeling your boyfriend (loosely) ties his goals in... (read in full...)
I bruise really easily and people think I'm being abused!
Q. Hey, I do martial arts training and I'm the dojo's assistant. I've recently become good enough to be used to demonstrate techniques, and although I land safe enough I always end up with bruises in very difficult to conceal places. I use...
A. 13 June 2011: Ah sorry about that, it's so hard to tell on the internet what someone may or may not know so I took the safe route of explaining.
Well from the sound of it we really do have the same condition. I recognize pretty much everything you wrote in... (read in full...)
Is there really an issue with age difference if I am over 18?
Q. is it wrong for me to like older men i am 18 and i am wondering what people think the right age of older men i being 18 should go for 18-20 21-23 24-26 27-29 30+ which do you think would be the oldest older man suitable if you where concerned...
A. 13 June 2011: This is going to sound strange from a girl who tends to fall for older guys, but I advise you to stay close to your age range. You're 18 and though you are an adult for the law, it doesn't yet really apply in real life. Not compared to say, guys who ... (read in full...)
I bruise really easily and people think I'm being abused!
Q. Hey, I do martial arts training and I'm the dojo's assistant. I've recently become good enough to be used to demonstrate techniques, and although I land safe enough I always end up with bruises in very difficult to conceal places. I use...
A. 13 June 2011: Indeed, what a small world, haha.
To answer your question:
Double jointedness doesn't exist. It's a myth to explain away why contortionists and rhythmic gymnasts can fold themselves the way they do. The real explanation for their extreme feat... (read in full...)
I bruise really easily and people think I'm being abused!
Q. Hey, I do martial arts training and I'm the dojo's assistant. I've recently become good enough to be used to demonstrate techniques, and although I land safe enough I always end up with bruises in very difficult to conceal places. I use...
A. 13 June 2011: Well it's not often I encounter someone with the EXACT SAME problem as I have. I've been doing martial arts for about 10 years and I bruise very quickly as well. My joints are also very loose and my doctor has confirmed I have Ehlers-Danlos ... (read in full...)
You're going to lose your girlfriend if you don't stop acting like a jerk!
Q. hi... i broke up with my bf a couple of weefs ago... i still love him so much, but in this past few months he had been giving a really hard time! he's very insecure and during our relationship we had a lot of arguments because he thought i was...
A. 12 June 2011: Just wanted to give a nod to kittykins great answer. The sooner you banish this guy from your life the better. Someone who makes you feel like this is not worth your time nor attention. Please keep this in mind whilst ignoring him and enjoy that for ... (read in full...)
Any advice for getting rid of stretch marks?
Q. Hi there! Well last August I had an accident, in which I fell off my horse at full gallop and landed on my back. I didn't break anything, but my lower back and hips, and upper thighs were all scraped and bruised, and all swelled up. Almost a year ...
A. 11 June 2011: I've tried everything. Bio Oil, cocoa butter, body butter, putting liquid vitamin E on my skin, special skin treatments, you name it I did it. The scars will fade anyway, regardless of what you put on it. So save yourself some money and don't buy ... (read in full...)
I'm 16, tried to get pregnant and succeeded. Now I don't think it was such a good idea.
Q. So, I'm sixteen and I have a boyfriend who I am completely in love with. We get along great and though we have some issues (mainly being that my parents are irresponsible and leave me to take care of my five younger siblings which my boyfriend ...
A. 11 June 2011: My best friend got pregnant at 16 and wanted to keep the baby, but also her parents were pressuring her to get an abortion. She came to me to complain about that her parents were being unfair and that is was her decision, but I told her she hasn't ... (read in full...)
Paranoid about a "psychic's" prediction....
Q. To make a long story short, A psychic told me some things. It was just for fun I wasn't trying to find out real life answers... Then she tells me that my bf already has or will meet some girl. She described a petite blonde and said she is personab...
A. 11 June 2011: Listen, even if there were people with the gift of foresight on this earth, they would not be showing them the way your 'psychic' did. They wouldn't open up a shop and advertise their freakiness. If they would want to do something with it, I'd ... (read in full...)
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