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male
age
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anonymous
writes: Ok here is the deal. I am older than this lady, yet I don't feel that way at all on the inside (and people tell me that I look younger than I am, and when I work out alot, I can easily pass for someone in their 20s). Ok, well, we have been friends, and that is cool. Yet I get the idea she wants more, and yet when I compliment her like on her looks, she says I shouldnt do such things, since it is not proper for an older guy to be complimenting a young lady like that (yes she is legal, over 18). So, now I am like ok, what are you doing, messing with my mind or what ? I want to know what is going on you know, or at least have some type of idea as to where things are going. I am aggrevated cause I am not sure where she stands on things. Any ideas ? Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (24 August 2010): answerfromtheheart you have "hit the nail on the head".
I am aware that I need to do alot of self examining, and that is one of my "quests" now.
To be honest, I am at odds with myself.
I dunno the answer to my situation really, and that perplexes me.
Maybe I can find a "kindred spirit" where I just "fit" in, and I will be happy and so will maybe a few others.
Yet, I have never been of the "fit in" class. As far back as I can remember, I have always traveled to a diffferent drum.
I don't have the answer.
All I know is to live life and enjoy it, for this life we live but once, and do the best for myself and my fellow man I know I only have to be true to myself, find my own way so to speak)
Thanks for all of your answers and inputs.
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female
reader, answerfromtheheart  +, writes (24 August 2010):
 Original Poster you are a trip. Just reading your posts was entertaining. It is hard for you to explain who you are because I believe you don't know yourself. You are a young soul trapped in an aging body. I know a few of your kind, and I have to say it is very hard being them. They are financially stable, good looking older men, who take good care of themselves, they have women around them all the time and at the same time they are always lonely. The women who are around them are there because they enjoy being wined and dined with a good looking guy in a nice car and hip and stylish clothes. But it is very difficult for you to find someone to really bond to your soul. I hope that someday you will, but I think that like some of the previous posters have said, you really need to do a lot of self examining to see if there are areas where you need to change and grow.Good luck.
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reader, anonymous, writes (24 August 2010): OhGetReal thx for your input. LOL, ok I can't explain where I am at. No matter, it will all sort itself out in the end.
And yeah, I relize the part of the fool.
In reality, I would like to be ALL ALONE. PEROID.
In other words, NO HUMAN CONTACT. NONE.
I like being cold hearted and an evil SOB, and guess what, Ima just now getting started.
Enjoy the ride my friends, it is going to be interesing !
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female
reader, OhGetReal +, writes (24 August 2010):
 I dunno dude, I am up their in years, too, but when you wax on about yourself about how no one can quite reach your level and you have come from rock bottom, and that you are spending time alone because you are so superior like possibly Einstein or Picasso, I can't help but thinking of a phrase my cousin's husband used to describe my aging uncle who had been through a lot, a serious injury that ended his career as a doctor, a law suit, a wife who left him during that and took half of everything after 25 years of marriage and also became a lesbian (lmfao) and she has her PhD, and then his drinking problem became late stage alcoholism and he spent lots of time alone with his much younger girlfriend who did nothing but enable him, and he also felt no one could reach his level, not his onlyh daughter, his only living brother, his neices, his nephew, his son in law, his young grandchild, he denied going to get help for his disease....talk about a rock bottom....my cousin's husband said well it must be wonderful to be him, King Turd of Shit Island....and that pretty much said it all.
Good luck with that, and I didn't call you a fool, I said you were playing one, though.
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reader, anonymous, writes (24 August 2010): thanks q1605 for your input. I must say though, I am at a level no human being on the planet is at. Not bragging or anything, I am just saying, it is hard to explain. I am considering all factors. Here is the bottom line. My mind is both at 40s plus 16. Wierd I know, here is the deal though. My mind has been at the "16" level so to speak as long as I can remember. Actually below the 16. I wish I could put it into words, I can't. I don't know how to explain it, bottom line is:
I am a human male
There are pretty women.
If they want to go out, I will lay it out on the line (well, alot of it, I can't lay it all out, I am in highly specialized field, that being said, some of the stuff is "classified")
ok, enuff
I can't help it if I have red blood, if the ladies fancy my style, and have no probs with it, then I have no probs.
Now, let me say something for you all to contemplate.
Have you all ever wondered who is "behind the keyboard?"
That is all I will say. If you can not deduce what I am saying by who is behind the keyboard, and you will have to lay it out in plain English, as to who you believe who is behind the "keyboards", b4 I can look at your introspectives in more depth.
Ok, enuff said.
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 August 2010): Thank you, maverick494 for your input. It is going to take awhile for me to "get through this". I am sure I will do it. I don't know how to explain it, I am kind of a time warp, one I admit was of my own choosing, so, I am ready to deal with "reality". That being said, I am also, at a level very very very few human beings have ever been, I don't know how to describe it or go into detail, all I know, is, that I walk alone, which is fine. Actually, I don't know what I am searching for in many aspects, lost yet not lost. Don't know how to convey it, seems like I can not find anyone who really can come close to my level. Not putting myself above others or anything of the sort, to be honest, I have come from rock bottom. And yet I have always been able to see into things much more than the rest. And I am just now "tapping" into my resources. Hard to explain. Dunno, maybe Angelo or Picasso or Eienstein or others of high caliber, cherished time alone? And it is true you can truely be "alone" in a crowd. I am not looking for anything as far as empathy or sympathy or anything of that sort, I am just trying to find answers to my own life. Maybe I have said to much or not enuff ? I don't even know. Thanks for your input though, I appreciate it. :)
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female
reader, maverick494 +, writes (23 August 2010):
OP, not trying to bring you down or anything but you AREN'T acting your age. Your posts are evidence of that.
You say you feel younger, you fall for a younger woman probably because of that and you believe it when people tell you that you could pass as a 20 something. You are as active on fb as the average youth, you use the turbotalk (IMHO) youngsters do and you get defensive whenever the topic comes up.
That's denial right there. There are good things too, like the fact you obviously take good care of yourself, but you sound like a man coning himself.
Now, I'm not suggesting you should just fall into a midlife crisis and the attached clichés, but I do think it would be wise to look in the mirror and honestly think over the points that have been brought up. And genuinely consider them. I know this sounds obvious, but many people have the tendency to lie to themselves.
I'm not here because I like telling you this, or because I think I'm better than you, because I don't. I just think it's an important issue to be brought up. So think it over. It's not a shame if you do something about it.
If you feel threatened or are in any other way displeased with my post, feel free to ignore it. Just remember that you came here for advice and that people will not always sugarcoat it. It's up to you to decide whether you can handle that or not.
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 August 2010): I ain't acting anything. I am the age I am. It is what it is, and it ain't what it ain't. Hey, ima live life to the fullest, and if others want to enjoy the ride, fine. If not, fine, there are plenty of others who will enjoy the hell out of it. Nuff said, imho.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (22 August 2010): And don't call me a fool.
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reader, OhGetReal +, writes (22 August 2010):
It seems like you really want to meet someone you can have an actual relationship with. Why not try getting off of Facebook and the computer and actually go have a life, not of bars and hookups, but get involved in your community and meet appropriate single women closer to your own age, even consider dating a woman who is somewhat older than you are, they are more likely to be interested in you if you are interested in being more serious and growing up and stop playing the fool with your tongue hanging out oggling girls young enough to be your daughter and then some....try it out, women are more interesting than girls.
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 August 2010): Ok today I ran into a lady I went to school with, oh and she was a beauty then and still is! Baby blue eyes ! Ok, anyways. she married the coach, and they had a relationship going on while I was in high school with her. It was just a rumour then, and I didn't think much bout it, and yet they are married now and both happy as can be. Course I had to make an idiot of myself by sticking my foot in my mouth, ain't the first time though, and I doubt it will be my last !
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reader, maverick494 +, writes (22 August 2010):
Thanks for the follow up!
As for suggestions, this might be a bit of a deadpan, but next time don't use Facebook to tell someone how attracted you are to them. PM them, tell them when you meet them but don't post it for everyone to see.
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 August 2010): No, I don't think deleting her was immature. I am sure some if not all of her friends saw my crazy posts about how much I was attracted to her, yada, yada, yada, and so I deleted her so others would see that I am not on there, and that it doesn't give her a "bad" rep so to speak. I have found out though she is a "wild child" and not the goody-2-shoes I thought she was. As in short dress's and going to the bars and going home with guys. So, anyways, in my view, I think I did the right thing in taking her off my friends list. Thanks for all of your advice, and I apologize for lashing out at you all. Any more suggestions?
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 August 2010): Ok so I took her off my friends list on facebook, is that what you all wanted was me not to have any contact with her? Just exactly what did you all want anyways?
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 August 2010): Thanks for all of your advice. It has helped me see myself in ways I had not thought of. I had thought of some, and some I have thought of I did not mention. Glad to have other people's perspective. :)
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female
reader, maverick494 +, writes (22 August 2010):
Other posters have given excellent insight about the girl. I want to go on a bit about this age thing that you have in your mind:
OP, the thing is that when people tell you you could pass for 20-something, they're just being nice. Not honest. Scraping off 10 years? Hmm, that is possible in some cases, but still there will always be something that gives you away. Being in your forties and believing you can pass for 20-something is just naive wishful thinking.
I get you want it to be true. But it is better to come to terms with your age and come out on top with the kind of sophistication 20 year olds lack, than trying to be one of them.
I admit, I have fallen for men your age (I'm 22) but that was always because they had something guys my age didn't have. But they were always wise enough not to start anything...
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reader, spiderweb  +, writes (21 August 2010):
 Doesn't sound as if she's into you at all, even if you look younger than you are. At that age, women are more into their own age group, with the same tastes in music etc. Also, at that age, she hasn't yet learned to deal with someone who obviously likes her, but whom she isn't interested in romantically. I'd say she doesn't want to insult you or hurt your feelings, but in my opinion, she just isn't interested in you romantically, no matter how you wish she was.
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reader, Carrot2000 +, writes (21 August 2010):
 She's telling you as politely as possible that you're too old for her and she's not interested.
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female
reader, heartbroken101  +, writes (21 August 2010):
 are you sure she wants more? and maybe she is trying to play hard to get? if she is telling you it in a serious kinda tone then she is messed up...unless of course shes saying it in a 'playful' kinda tone...then shes probably trying to be a playful kinda lighthearted girl whose flirty and 'hot'. on the other hand...the serious tone??? you will have to talk to her face to face...figure out if she definately does want more and then ask her whats going on because when you compliment her she says that you shouldn't do that. be calm but. because it could also be because something has happened...eg maybe a past guy has done that and so she cant trust guys easily etc. just talk to her thats the best way :)
goodluck!!!
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