A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Sooo this may seem like a really confusing question but i thank you in advance if you read this all and give adviceSooo me and my girlfriend have been dating for about 3 years now, we started dating in our senior year of high school and this is both of our first long term relationships.Over the summer i got to know this girl who went to my school, i had known her kinda during school but for the most part i had talked to her boyfriend more than her.Soo we talked a lot during the summer since we worked together and really got to know each other on a really good level. One day she was drinking and she decided to text me that she liked me and if we were both single. I recipricated that towards her but didnt really think anything of it.We got to talking about how we are both scared about the future and if we are just dating the person we are now because we are content with what we have. But we didnt want to break up with our significant others to figure that out. Well one thing led to another and we started to make out. Ever since than we have done everything in the book all the way down to sex.Now most people that read this will be like ohh its a booty call and both of you guys just want your cake and to eat it too. But we have both developed a strong feeling for each other, a very strong feeling towards each other. Its almost like having a girlfriend and than having a half of girlfriend.So my question is what should i do? I cant tell my gf i have cheated on her because that would screw this other girl over with her bf and well than both of us would be single and on the other hand i really like this other girl and have strong feelings for her. Im kinda torn in 2 with my guranteed future and the possibility of where this other relationship could go... again thanks i know its long but hey i had to ask
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female
reader, mizz.butterflies +, writes (2 September 2010):
 I met this guy when he was dating his girlfriend for 4 months.He was a perfect gentleman,no booty call thing, I NEVER in my life shared a better connection with someone than i did with him.We couldnt be together due to the fact that i was going to be away for some time.he was willing to wait...but..Now,I regret not giving him a chance.He has been with her for 2 years at this moment we speak,and when he saw me his world went upside down.Long story,sorry for rambling but it still hurts me.Dont make the same mistake i did. go for what ur heart tells u and forget about other people.At the end of the day,its your life.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 September 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank you vember you probably had the best advice of everybody... everybody else take your bitch fest somewhere else... i know what i did and i dont need everybody to be my mother
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A
female
reader, vember  +, writes (2 September 2010):
I have been in the same situation. I fell for someone and slept with them whilst I was in a long term relationship. You have to ask yourself if your girlfriend makes you happy. If you were in a stable relationship that's making you happy then you wouldn't find the need to cheat on her, nor would you develop feelings for someone else. When you're in love there are eyes for the one and only. You need to talk to this other girl about how things are going in her relationship, if she's happy with this guy or not. If she is and you really do care about her then you need to back off and let her be happy. If not then you should both talk about the possibilty of getting together. Either way, your current relationships should be looking utterly disfunctional, if not now, then certainly later if you carry on seeing this girl.Also, honesty is always a good way forward. You should try and convince this girl that is well, maybe you won't be the reason she messes up with her boyfriend. Just talk things out and make a rational decision. Not one that you'll regret.
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A
female
reader, maverick494 +, writes (2 September 2010):
Now you cheated on your girlfriend there is no "guaranteed future" for you anymore. This relationship is over, you just haven't come to terms with that yet. If you loved your girlfriend, you wouldn't have cheated on her. Also, you don't seem to give a damn about her feelings, only about the consequences your slip up may have for you and your fling.End the relationship with your girlfriend. Atleast give her that much. She deserves to be loved by someone who IS loyal to her. And if you're a man, not a coward, confess what you did so she can understand why it is in her best interest to end this. Why do you care if it'll screw over your fling? Her current boyfriend deserves better than her! After both of your relationships ending, hook up together. Two cheats together. Sounds like a match made in heaven, especially since neither of you can be trusted.
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A
female
reader, maverick494 +, writes (2 September 2010):
Now you cheated on your girlfriend there is no "guaranteed future" for you anymore. This relationship is over, you just haven't come to terms with that yet. If you loved your girlfriend, you wouldn't have cheated on her. Also, you don't seem to give a damn about her feelings, only about the consequences your slip up may have for you and your fling.End the relationship with your girlfriend. Atleast give her that much. She deserves to be loved by someone who IS loyal to her. And if you're a man, not a coward, confess what you did so she can understand why it is in her best interest to end this. Why do you care if it'll screw over your fling? Her current boyfriend deserves better than her! After both of your relationships ending, hook up together. Two cheats together. Sounds like a match made in heaven.
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A
female
reader, sizzling1  +, writes (2 September 2010):
hmm..i guess you either leave your current gf or quit the affair with this other girl..you are being very unfair to your gf. if you cannot sustain an exclusive relationship with her please let her go..before you hurt her even more. but, bet you..if you do opt for this other girl it WON'T last..the choice is yours..
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A
male
reader, Cerberus_Raphael  +, writes (2 September 2010):
 Whatever you choose will lead to you being single. If you really felt strongly for each other, why is it you both seem to want to stay with your 'significant other'? Why haven't you broken up with your current girlfriend to be with this other girl? Why hasn't she done the same to her boyfriend.
No one can or should blame you for feeling what you feel but I can tell you that it was wrong of you to have been with this other girl whilst in a relationship. You have betrayed your girlfriend. You should tell her the truth and accept the consequences, but in the end, you and this other girl can be together anyway so why hide it?
I hope that helps.
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