A
female
age
36-40,
*aluf
writes:After i realised that its not working out, we both agreed that i should move out and get a place of my own, i moved out and i was still angry at him for cheating and all the bad treatment i got from my mother in law.i have been staying alone for 3months now and we hardly see each other even though we live just 5 minutes away from each other,a week ago i slept with my neighbour, i enjoyed myself and i still want him, i know he does not love me and i dont love him either but it feels so good because i am doing exactly what my husband did to me, its kind of a way of easing the pain,because now we are even, though he doesnt know that i cheated,i have just proved that the cock that doesnt belong to you is delicious and you cant get enough of it, am i wrong to do this?
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moved out, neighbour, revenge Reply to this Question
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female
reader, raluf +, writes (7 September 2010):
raluf is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you all for responding, it gives me a clear understanding of what i did and why i did it, i now think its was not because he cheated but because i get lonely, and this guy was just available, there is no going back in that relationship and from where i'm standing i cant see the light because he seem to have moved on without me, i came to realise that maybe he just did not know how to get rid of me so he decided to cheat so i could find out and leave. I thank each and everyone for responding to my question.
A
male
reader, Cerberus_Raphael  +, writes (25 August 2010):
 This was no mistake. I don't think you were right in doing it. You are now no better than he is or was. If this is your way of easing your pain then so be it. Just remember that revenge is never a good thing. How do you feel now that you've just made yourself a harlot. You might disagree, you were only doing what your husband did to you. Just make sure you don't regret it in the end. I've seen this play out before, people using seduction to get what they want and it never ends well. Yes you were wrong to do it out of revenge.
I hope that helps.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 August 2010): he probably will say he is sorry about cheating but you can bet anything that he doesn't regret. because he likes the way he felt while cheating on you. and you did it back to him so i see you both are even. just live your way the way you want to live it and don't seek anyone's aproval. you are entitled to make your mistakes just like he made his and everybody makes mistakes now and then. make the most of it. no one can tell you what's right or wrong. nobody is perfect. go on with your life and live the way you want to live. make your own rules. Take care of yourself. Good luck!
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A
male
reader, rcn  +, writes (24 August 2010):
 I agree that two wrongs don't make a right. Get revenge on what? Are you two together? You said you moved out....who are you getting revenge on? If you two are together, you can't go on without telling him that you're sleeping with someone else. I'd consider that, you moved away from your husband, and you have found someone knew, so have no further need or desire for your husband, or aren't wanting to reconcile with him. Is that about right? If you two are separated, what you're doing is out of personal desire and cannot be considered revenge of any type. If it were, anytime you seek revenge it is wrong, because you're lowering yourself to a new set of standards to define who you are by.
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A
female
reader, butterflykb  +, writes (24 August 2010):
I hate the response of "two wrongs don't make a right" because for me, it did. My husband had a 1night stand. We split up, and I had one. It helped him to understand how I felt about what he did. And it helped me get my confidence back and understand how he felt about doing it. We are back together and I can honestly say our relationship us better than ever. However, we wanted our marriage to work and put alot of time and communication into sorting it out. Do you want to work it out or not? Xxx
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 August 2010): Dear women
to tell you, what you did has nothing to do with him. it is always b/n you and your god and no one else. It has nothing to do with him.
So obviously you being girl can sleep with as many men as you want any day. Just publish your number for free sex and you will have 100 guy with cock in their hand ready to fuck you.
So I am frankly not sure what you did, and what you will do. there is nothing great you did in my view.
In my view you will have guilt and consciousness of what you did life long till your death bed. you are blind in revenge, but i feel you you are wasting your self in the revenge. And as on today, you find your self in same low as you think your husband is. And in my observation, you and he both are not too different.
Ideal situation would have been that if he was falling, you would have been the first one to pull him up, and vice versa. But in your case, he fell and then you fell even worse.
God bless you both. TWO WRONG IS NEVER EQUAL TO RIGHT.
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A
female
reader, maverick494 +, writes (24 August 2010):
Who are we to decide what is right or wrong?
That said, you have to think about what you've done. You felt hurt and betrayed when he cheated on you and now you've done the exact same thing that to him that hurt you. Now what does that say about you?
You could say you're even now, but I think you have lowered yourself to a level that you don't approve of. Also, just because his mother in law isn't nice to you gives you no right to take that anger out on him. Be clear on why you did this. Did you do it because he cheated? Or both?
Anyway, you're now just as bad as he is. So in that respect you have taken away your right to be angry with him for cheating on you. Because that would make you a hypocrite.
You have to make a decision on what to do considering this marriage because if it goes on like this you will both sink further. You might be able to start with a clean slate, or you might choose to seperate. Whatever you do, don't wait around.
Good luck with whichever choice you make.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (24 August 2010):
 Two wrongs never make a right.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 August 2010): Well I don't think anyone here can say whether it is right or wrong, and I am certainly not going to make any judgements. But I do think that, although it may feel good to sleep with this other guy, it is just a cover up for what is really going on. It is not really dealing with the real issue here, which is the problems between you and your husband. I think you need to decide what you want to do in regards to your marriage. Do you want to try and work things out with your husband? Or have you had enough? While what you are doing now may be easing the pain, it may be short-lived until the real problems are resolved. So when you feel ready, I think you both need to decide if you are going to stay together and try and work on the problems, and try and get things back on track...or whether to separate and go about your own lives. Until then, things will just remain uncertain. I hope things work out well for you.
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