A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I met this boy and the moment I saw him I was totally head over heals!! I'm NOT kidding. I knew he was a great catch, I just instantly feel something. I slipped my phone number is his jacket when it was hanging up, and eventually we got to texting. He told me he had a girlfriend. but I really just didnt care at that point because ive been looking at him for so long. we hung about 3 or 4 times, he brought me around all of his friends, holding my hand rubbing my back. Telling me how beautiful I am and how he thinks its cute the way I ramble on. We kissed soo passionately in his truck the last time I saw him. We could not keep our hands off of each other. I told him I will not have sex with him , since he has a girlfriend.. I've talked to him a few times since, and he told me he's sorry he loves his girlfriend, and i told him to leave me alone. Because he really made it seem like he was gonna break up with her. Ive NEVER in my life felt so strongly about a person. I had so much ambition to get close to him and I got what i wanted. I want him still though. Do you think he misses me? I dont see how I could feel so strongly and he couldnt.. I'm usually never wrong about these things.
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female
reader, celia89  +, writes (19 December 2010):
Hi,
I know how your feeling right now. I'm in the same situation. He also has a gf an told me how beautiful I am and we also kissed and he also chose his gf.
I still believe he is going to change his mind, but he isn't.
You just have to forget about him. He's not worth it. If he truely wanted to be with you he would have broken up with his gf. Is hard to hear but it's true.
Gotta move on..
A
female
reader, sunandstars  +, writes (17 December 2010):
I think you might be wrong this time. This guy you feel so strongly about has a girlfriend, and your actions suggest you forgot this? Fair enough, he's in the wrong too for kissing you etc, but you shouldn't encourage it further. You have to think of the feelings of his girlfriend, imagine how hurt she'd be if she found out her boyfriend had been passionately kissing another girl. So I suggest you just back well away to prevent anymore trouble. Sorry that this sounds really harsh but I hope it helps.
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A
male
reader, Finn +, writes (17 December 2010):
Hi,
I'm sorry, but you were wrong this time. Are you really telling us that the guy you've been looking for for so long is someone who already has a girlfriend? If a guy is hanging out with a girl who likes him behind his girlfriend's back.... then you can be sure that that is not a guy you want as a boyfriend.
As for how you can feel so strongly while he does not, that is unfortunately very common. Here's another rule of thumb: if you "fall" for a person that quickly, it's not real. That's not to say some people haven't subsequently nurtured a love for people they were infatuated with, only that you're confused about what you're actually feeling. You feel very strongly, of that I'm sure. I've felt the same exact thing, and so have most people reading what you wrote. But that's not what love is. And that's not what will make you happy in the end. What you have is a sort of hunger. You crave the guy. You think if you have him, then you'll feel such sweet serenity that life will be like heaven. But it won't be. And that's not love.
If you contact the guy again, he'll think he's going to get an easy lay. And to be honest, if that's what you were out for, I'd say go for it... wouldn't be nice to the guy's girlfriend, but that relationship is obviously doomed anyway, so no great loss. But if you do that (do him, I mean) and he dismisses you again, you're going to feel a lot of hurt.
My best advice is to throw yourself into something you can be passionate about for a week or so, something that will help you to stop obsessing over him.
Take care and good luck
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A
female
reader, maverick494 +, writes (17 December 2010):
God, I wish that everytime I fell hard for someone they shared the same feelings. It would´ve have made my life much easier and more enjoyable. Honestly, isn´t that what everyone wants? However, unanswered love happens to everyone once in a while.
That said, I do think this guys is attracted to you. After all, he complimented you, introduced you to his friends and kissed you even though he has a girlfriend. But I think he decided he likes his current gf more. The reason he cut contact so quickly probably has to do with his guilt too. Plus it would be a safe choice: he knows her through and through and with you it could lead anywhere--also to disappointment.
It is very flattering for someone's ego when someone is so very into you without them even knowing you properly. It might be that he just wanted to have a taste of that and never intended to have it lead anywhere. Unfair, but it happens a lot.
So to be honest, I don't know. But I wouldn't wait around for him, because he seems to have made up his mind.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 December 2010): Obviously there is a strong attraction but as he said he loves his girlfriend he doesn't want to take it further with you.
I know how hard it is when you want someone who isn't available and how easy it is to imagine that really they are, and read things into what they've said. Also please think about his girlfriend and how she would feel even about the kissing.
Try to forget about this man and move on. There will be other people you are attracted to and one of them at least will be available.
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