A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Well, basically I'm 22 turning 23 in February and I'm still a virgin and some times it makes me sick to my stomach to think about it, to make it worse my reserve unit is leaving for the middle east soon, so that pretty much means I can count not meeting anyone for at least one more year so better make that a 24 year old virgin T-T.It really gets to me sometimes especially if I have to hang out with my best friend and his fiancee, in fact I'm not so sure that I didn't actually die a long time ago and they're my eternal punishment -_-. These people got to meet each other in high school, they were both virgins and they started having sex after dating for a year then like a freaking Disney fairytale they decide to get engaged!That's not fair! Why couldn't I have that:(.Why do they not have to experience all kind of good emotions like rejection, loneliness, and jealousy At my age I'll be lucky if who ever I meet doesn't have past partners in the double digits, that used to really eat at me but I'm pretty much over it now, just as long as she didn't sleep with the whole football team I'm fine. I just hate how when most people find out they the ether think your gay, a religious nut, or there most be something physically or mentally wrong with you. I'm none of those things, unless you want to count depression from being a virgin.Other then that I consider myself to be good looking, smart, and ambitious but for whatever reason I get no love T-T.
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ambition, best friend, both virgins, engaged, fiance, jealous, still a virgin Reply to this Question
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female
reader, maverick494 +, writes (14 December 2010):
Thanks for the follow up, OP.
You know, there are more virgins of your age out there, a lot more. And surprise surprise, most of them aren't ugly either.
Just because you keep hearing of hormonal teenagers humping eachother like a bunch of rabbits with all the consequences that follow, doesn't mean that this is desired or even normal. It's the reason you keep hearing about it.
Don't get too hung up about age. In the end, it's all about being able to please one another. There are 'experienced' guys out there who don't have a clue what a girl likes and first timers who know exactly which buttons to push. If you don't make a problem out of it, it isn't a problem. Virginity is not the big deal, it's more the thought behind it: saving yourself for that special person. But if you feel trapped by it, then it's no longer that nice.
Try to relax and go out more when you have the chance. Chat up girls without the intention to sleep with them--they can tell when you do that. This may sound contradictory, but it will be much easier to find someone you'd like to share it with when you're being genuine.
Oh and stop caring about what others think. If you don't make a fuss about it, chances are they'll adjust their attitude. It's only when you react like a deer in headlights that they'll start to think they're onto something.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 December 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionOK, sorry it took so long for me to reply I've bin busy trying to finish up my course work for the fall semester. First off, to trancedrhythmear thanks for the advise I'll keep counseling in mind but hopefully it doesn't come to that.To 0000BraveHeart0000 trust me I'm well aware of the negative results of sex, my brother got a girl pregnant at a college party and I had to watch that whole horror show, it made me very paranoid for a long time about getting someone pregnant, but I've reached a point in my life, were I just don't care any more. To Tine, I'm in a rush? there are 15 year old's out there with a fully active sex life's, and I'm the one in a rush? I think I've taken my sweet time thank you, and besides I'm not getting any younger. To Princessmamma,that would be my first choice,the problem with that is I have no way of knowing how long it will be till I meet that person, and when I do, I doubt that that they will have waited that long for me, so whats the point? To aphexinfinite, that's the thing I'm afraid if I don't take care of this right now I'm going to wake up one morning and really be a 40 year old virgin, no I take that back because if I get to 30 and haven't had sex yet I'm hanging myself in the barn. To everyone else, I'm not paying for it! I do have some freaky dignity left.
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A
male
reader, RAINORFIRE +, writes (3 December 2010):
 good luck keep your head down if you really wanted to loose your virginity you could always hire a profesional being that your going to war and all it might be your last chance... just a thought. just dont get her pregnant or fall in love either way shell take all your money and break your heart.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (3 December 2010): Hey, don't sweat it.I'd had lots of chances for sexual activity, and passed on them, lost my virginity to oral sex around 22 years of age.But then due to a drastic change of life circumstances and some unusual relationship issue I had to deal with never had full on vaginal intercourse till I was 29.Really, 29.So, focus on your job, look for the right person, and keep your dick from getting blown off in the middle east, and don't sweat it.Yes, my wife asked me if I was sure I wasn't "gay" when she found this out (yet long before we got married we had sexual intercourse), I think she knows the answer now.Nothing wrong with being unusual. In fact, I find that at nearly 50 years of age that I still love sex as much as I did in my late 20's, in fact I love it a huge amount. The joy just never got burned out and my wife who has had lots more sexual partners than I have really enjoys sex with me. We have sex today more than we did when we met, and it's much better.
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A
female
reader, Princessmamma +, writes (29 November 2010):
Im sure u will find someone there is someone out there for everyone. Hunni its not ure time yet u r saving it for that special person whether u realize it or not. The person u share it with will be more respectful bcuz u waited for them instead of sleeping around with a bunch of people. Trust me i met my soon to be ex husband at the age of 16 married at 17 and i did everything first with him including my virginity. After we broke up i slept with enough people for even my own gf to think im a slut. Yes i wish i would have waited and not done that so when i met the one it would be given to them. But ure special u have the opportunity it give something that means so much love to someone that u really care about n really cares about u. Goodluck i hope i helped a little much love
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 November 2010): Don't worry about being a virgin. Honestly, I'm sure a lot of girls would find that attactive. It's so rare to come across a guy that actually respects himself and woman enough not to just jump into bed with the drop of a hat. I would love to date a guy like that.
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A
female
reader, aphexinfinite  +, writes (29 November 2010):
 well it could be worse you could be a 40 year old virgin. you will meet the right lady at the right time alot of people think its great those who keep their virginity for the right person. just some people dont. its never a good thing when people have double digits! so i wouldnt be jealous i wish i hadnt slept with some of the guys if not all of them because its nice to share that something with the right person. just try to enjoy life and look forward. being depressed about being a virgin isnt going to help so try and get those spirits up and research the area you are going to see what things you can do to meet more people. they always say a good partner comes from good friends. just try and cheer up ! aphex xx
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A
female
reader, Tine +, writes (29 November 2010):
 why are you in such a rush to lose you virginity, would it be better to lose it to someone who means something to you, that you care about or to someone who bascially is only after you for one thing and will use and abuse you?? It's ok saying that you want to lose it so that you are not a virgin at your age, but its afterwards that you need to consider. If you just go out and sleep with just anyone, that feeling of being used afterwards is not something everyone wants. You want your first time to be with someone who will treat you right, take care and let it be an enjoyable experience bot someone who is just going to come in, sleep with you and leave.
It seems that you are comparing yourself to your friend, it may all look rosy in their relationship from where you are standing, however no relationship is perfect. Your time will come that you will meet that special someone and they will sweep you off your feet. Don't rush into things that are so important. Your still young and hey your not the youngest virgin in the world, certainly not. You should embrace the fact that you've taken your time, obviously it's not your choice to do so but honey i think you should hold on to it as long as you can as there are men out there who use women as tools, because they think there easy.
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 November 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionSorry for the horrible spelling. I was writing that on my I phone :p
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A
male
reader, Welsh Uncle Dave +, writes (29 November 2010):
Stop beating yourself up that you're still a virgin. It's not a race and no big deal either.
People only start thinking such things like you're gay or religious nut have something wrong with you because it is widely considered that most people lose their virginity in their teens.
You would probably be amazed at the amount of people in their early 20s who are still virgins - they may not all admit to it though.
The more you put pressure on yourself to have sex or the more you worry about it, the worse you're making it for yourself.
And on top of that, no doubt when the time actually does come for sex you'll probably end up disappointed and wonder what the fuss is all about, because you've wanted it so much.
It's better to wait and find the right person.
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A
female
reader, 0000BraveHeart0000  +, writes (29 November 2010):
 I want to say being a virgin does not mean it is the end of the world. I am a 21 virgin (never had a boyfriend) how do you like that? For the first half of my teenage years, I almost give under peer pressure and got one. Sometimes, when we want something so bad, we never seem to check out the bad effects. At that time the girls with the boyfriends always had bad things going for them, pregnancy, drugs, HIV/AIDS and it was so shocking because they were the 'cool people' like I always thought bad things happened to the nerds.
The thing about life is just when you think it is not going so good, that is when things start happenning for you. Do not worry your head and go into a frenzy over the lack of girlfriend situation. It will happen to you when you least expect it. Try to enjoy the single life while you can. One day love will knock at your door and hopefully you will be ready for it.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (29 November 2010): Listen mate, got a pal who just like you, lost my virginty when i was 17 to my girl who is a year younger than me and to be honest i was pretty lucky to lose mine to a virgin considering the fact that most people i knew male or female had been with atleast 2+ but however i am 19 now and i have been with still 1 person wherefore my girlfriend has been with 2 me counting as 1, through a rough 2year7month relationship broke-up for about 4 and a bit month. thats how she ending up sleeping with other peeps, and i went straight to the top with loads of chicks not finishing the job properly if you know what i mean?
Mine friends 23 he still a virgin, big stocky lad, out of my pals when we were all virgins i expected him to lose it first. he still got it. Funny eh? i dont think he's gay, he just shy, i sometimes wonder how he feels about it? ever thought of buying it? or telling a female friend about your situation who may be willing to help? it's strange i wonder why i didnt when i needed it? Sex is the root of all problems, it doesnt matter how it is, now i have to constantly worry if my sex compares to the guy she slept with when we split or, having to compare/beat last ones previous partners slept with.. to much stress.
Better of on concentrating on making some serious money, or.. just get used to the fact that you may not always be best some one has slept with but you can at least be confident about it. At least that way your gonna stand out from the rest.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 November 2010): Hey bud!
Keep positive. I was 25 when I lost it and I went thru depression. I went thru counseling and made a rather very good and rare kind of decision. I was faced with it so I dealt with it properly without any dumb emotion.
I highly advise you speak to a counselor. Youre not a loser or an idiot or some religious nut by any means man. I havent been with that many women but yet my frustrations lingered and snowballed and became a huge issue.
I sense you are ready for it. If it keeps you up at nite and you constantly, and i mean constantly, think about it...then youre ready and you absolutely must make a decision.
The worst thing you can do now is sit around and think about it. This will make matters worse. Sit down, possibly talk to a qualified professional, and have them aide you in a decision. Write things out. Make it logic now man...im a very emotional guy and can be but learned to lose it a non regrettable way regardless of who it was with. Once youre ready, youre ready...and I would not wait for anyone cause you need to look out for own personal well being right now, especially when your mental health is at risk. All my best here my good man and feel free to message me any time :)
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