A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Lost my virginity five months ago to this difficult man and five months later, it's a little like love. Anyway, it used to be that I'd get extremely wet when he just touched me or looked at me. I still get turned on but my body's reaction isn't exactly the same. He penetrates and ouch! Ouch! I get sore as hell. I told him and he just doesn't get it. He's so sensitive I don't know how to tell him that the pain is kicking the pleasure's butt during sex. Also, I hate being on top. That's mostly what he wants. I find myself on top and my brain goes "aaawww crap! Reverse!" I feel like a blow-up doll...or a log. I dunno what to do and he feels too big inside me. Please help Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 December 2010): I would dump him and find someone who is kinder and a better lover. A normal person wouldn't want to have sex with you in this situation. Why would you put yourself through this? What are you getting out of it?
A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (13 December 2010):
 It should be easy for anyone to understand that a certain way to make love causes pain. I know this isn't always the case. I agree with Quiet and Maverick: you should tell it like it is. "Honey, it hurts if we do it that way".
Question: is he insensitive only with regard to lovemaking?
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A
female
reader, smiliek  +, writes (13 December 2010):
 Are you using lube to help with wetness? Our bodies do produce some, although at different times in our cycles it may be more or less.. Also the fear of the pain will stop you getting as wet.. Either he spends alot more time on foreplay, you use lube to help, or both.. And it does sound like he needs to be alot more considerate of you
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A
male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (13 December 2010):
 It's not a question of should I let him hurt me some more or not it's a question of why do you put up with pain?
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 December 2010): Use lube if your not wet enough, the tightness just needs time
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A
female
reader, maverick494 +, writes (13 December 2010):
Since you've lost your virginity recently it can take a while to 'loosen up' in there. Also, if you're nervous during sex, your muscles in your vagina will tense up, making sex painful and unpleasant. So you have to be really relaxed to get an enjoyable experience.
You really have to tell your guy about this problem so you can work something out. Be direct with him: simply tell him it's painful and that you don't share his preference in position (yet). Tell him you want to focus on having sex without pain first and vary positions after that's taking care of. Ask him for pointers when you're on top. Once you know what makes you and him feel good in that position, you'll start to enjoy it too. And sex is all about making eachother feel good.
Hope this helps!
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A
female
reader, harleygirl2010 +, writes (13 December 2010):
 Ok i know that feeling. Does he know that you don't like being on top? I don't either because it hurts me more than anything. Have you tried adding extra lube that may help but i don't know. I hope this helps you some.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (13 December 2010): as a guy myself (37) this guy only cares for hisself and own needs ! if your relationship is already like this , it wont get any better ! sorry babe but you need to find someone that is smaller or atleast someone that cares about how you feel and not use all of what he has !he can damage you for life and cause problems for you and your future husband ...... think of yourself , he is not ! take care and good luck
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