A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:There is a guy friend who is interested in me. He has dropped plenty of hints that he wants more than a friendship with me but I act as though I don't get his hidden messages. I am not physically attracted to him nor does his personality pull me in enough to want a relationship with him. He is a very fat guy. And he onced asked me if I liked big men, I dodged the question. But I know he'll try to ask me again. Should I be honest and tell him that I don't find fat men attractive because really I don't. What should I do? Reply to this Question
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male
reader, wildman +, writes (23 March 2008):
 I would just tell him you are interested in someone else right now and that would have to be the end of it.
A
female
reader, natasia  +, writes (23 March 2008):
 ps and if he does ask you if you fancy fat guys, say 'it's not to do with weight - it just has to be the right chemistry, and I'm really sorry but I don't feel that with you. I have to be honest.'
Keep the fat thing out of it.
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A
female
reader, natasia +, writes (23 March 2008):
I think you should be honest with him, but I don't think you should say it's because he's fat - that's really hurtful. Don't do that. Just tell the truth: you like him as a friend, but that's it for you - you don't have other feelings for him. It will hurt him, but nowhere near as much as the fat thing. And if you say it's because he's fat, too, you know what he'll think? 'OK, if I just get thin, she'll have me!' and he'll still keep hoping (and might go on a diet - then what are you going to do?!!). No good. Tell him straight.
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A
female
reader, Vertigo  +, writes (22 March 2008):
Hi.
Start checking out the skinny guys around you... I'm sure he'll get the idea that you prefer lean men :)
And you could also let him know indirectly that what you feel for him is purely platonic. Emphasize on what a great 'friend' he's been and how comfy this brotherly-sisterly relationship is for you.
Good luck
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 March 2008): i have to say your starting to sound a little shallow always bringing up his weight -_- even tho im pretty fit now i can still feel the pain that it can cause.without hurting his feelings?thats a toughie but i guess the best answer you could give is not really...i guess cause i cant think of nuthin better..i feel bad for tha poor guy
-michael
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 March 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThe thing is that he will ask me if I find fat men attractive...well how do I answer that without hurting his feelings? I really don't want a relationship with him at all. He is not my type and is obese
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A
male
reader, LazyGuy  +, writes (22 March 2008):
 I would simply say that you don't like him that way, would you want to be rejected based on your looks?
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A
female
reader, Emmy-Lou +, writes (22 March 2008):
 No, no, no!
Never tell a fat person you don't find fat people attractive. That is the worst possile thing you can say.
JUst explain that you don't feel a connection and just aren't attracted to him.
Don't refer to him as fat, that will put a serious downer on him and it may impair his capability of being able to advance on another lady.
Hope this helps and good luck.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 March 2008): very delicate situation your in i been there only i was tha "fat guy"lol tell him openly and honestly that you just dont want a romantic relationship with him but verify that you still want to be friends with him.believe me it will hurt him a LOT more in the long run if you dont openly tell him how you feel.but ya never know i dropped the extra weight maybe he will too just dont call him "fat"he could take offense to it.good luck
-michael
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 March 2008): Don't say you find fat men not attractive. Just say you don't want a romantic relationship with him, it's that simply really.
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