A
male
age
,
anonymous
writes:I've been married since 2005 and I love my wife we both work away in the mining industry our sex life is 0. She tells me that she is tied all the time witch I can understand so am I. The problem is I try and do what I can to get her intrested and nothing works,she likes to masturbate and it seems like she rather masturbate than make love with me. it seems that the masturbation has taken over, she has always masturbated witch I dont mind because she injoys it and its normal but we use to have a great sex life well I thought but now I feel like our marriage is coming to an end because of this what can I do. your advice is needed
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female
reader, soloist  +, writes (23 September 2008):
I wish I had the answer. I'm 40 and I have preferred masturbation all my life. I remember doing this when I was 5. I had a normal upbringing with great parents. I had a brief child to child sexual encounter (5 yrs old), which as far as I can tell, everyone feels is "normal" for children to play doctor and experiment. This is the only experience that I may be able to tie this problem to, and it was very mundane, though I felt guilt.
In general, I feel completely alone, have no idea why sex with a man (or woman) has not caught on with me, and every once in a while get in counseling or find a chat room to find answers. All I can say is masturbation is quick and easy. It does the job. I don't make a big deal of it, I just take care of it.
I can't concentrate during sex with my husband. It seems my mind wanders by itself and suddenly I'm thinking of the kids, my work, etc. Sometimes sex repels me, it's too close, too many smells, and I have to go to another place while we're having sex. My husband hates it and tells me often. How incredibly lame of me to end up this way. If we didn't love each other so much it would be over. Isn't there any cure for this?
A
male
reader, pyan +, writes (24 March 2008):
Hi
i have found as women get older they like to do what they want for sex. do you play with your wife or is is just sex.
my wife went through a simular stage a few years back where she would do the same. when i spoke to her about it she said she liked the sex part to finish but first wanted to orgam. once i started doing more of that it all came back
message if you want to know more
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A
male
reader, LazyGuy  +, writes (24 March 2008):
 Masturbation is easy, you know what you want and do it. Compared to full on sex it is also a lot less tiring.
What offcourse masturbation doesn't have is intimacy and usually it is women who complain about this the most.
"We used to have a great sex life" you say. You sure? People often claim that "WE" have X without ever bothering to ask the other half of the "WE".
Note that a great sex life ain't just about counting orgasms. She can have those with masturbation. For sex to be worth it for a person, the sex needs to offer more then just orgasms. You are dealing with something that is sweaty, makes you tired and causes wet spots on the bed.
Something has made her decide that masturbation is better then sex with you, you need to find out what that is.
It may be that she no longer wants intimacy with you, how does she react to intimacy not meant to start sex?
It may be that you just ain't doing it right for her, read up on oral techiniques.
Perhaps sex is uncomfortable for her? Are you really large? Does she have trouble lubricating?
Sit her down and talk to her and let her know how all this makes you feel.
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A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (24 March 2008):
 For some women , masturbation can make them orgasm which they may not attain during sex.
Masturbation is the stimulation of their clitoris by hand.
Maybe you should stimulate her clitoris orally and manually
till she orgasm and then she will satisfy you back.
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