A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi, i've been with my boyfriend for 7 months and i'm pregnant the problem is his job, he works in a pub and works 6 nights a week 6pm till closing so doesnt get home until 3 or 4am but i am getting suspicious because he seems to be getting home later and later every night he tells me they stay behind to have a few drinks and they don't realise what time it is. He tells me a girl he works with hugs him and i know what a flirt he can be, he has done in front of me lots of times. I've heard a car door close on a number of occasions just before he walks through the door and if i ask did he have a lift home he says no and i have also found naked photos of a women on his phone when i asked him he said he doesn't know how they got on there, i dont know what to do?
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male
reader, LazyGuy  +, writes (23 March 2008):
 Bluetooth is used for very short range wireless transmission.
Early on there were security concerns because the devices assumed that all communication was trusted. In theory leading to anyone in range being able to just send you anything.
Modern phones disable this by default so you got to accept any transmission. Because of the limited range and because on most phones you got to accept files being send, the excuse is a bit unlikely, but possible. If you got a bluetooth phone of your own, try sending it a file and see what happens.
The bedroom looking familiar, well all houses look similar, but frankly running out of excuses here.
I would say you got a right to be suspicious. Offcourse, that doesn't really help does it. That is the worsed part about cheating, the not knowing.
I really don't have an answer for you, if you keep pestering him and he is innocent you could easily destroy the relationship. If he is guilty and you sit back and do nothing it will only go on.
Innocent until proven guilty is nice and all, but the people who say that don't have to sleep next to him.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 March 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi lazyguy and thanks for your reply, the photos on his phone were in what he says the bluetooth file so he tells me some1 sent them to him by mistake but i dont believe that, to me they look like they have been taken by his phone and the background looks familiar (our bedroom)
The car door, first time i heard it i thought it was nothing but it happens the same night every week on a saturday but he always says he walked home and i know its not my ears playing tricks on me. I have confronted him and spoke to him about whats worrying me no end of times he just tells me im being paranoid and to stop being silly.
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A
male
reader, LazyGuy +, writes (22 March 2008):
Are the pictures of a woman (single) or more then one?
It shouldn't be too hard to see if the images were taken with his phone or wether he downloaded them. Simplest is the folder they are in on the phone, the images themselves contain info but simplest is to see if the images are amateurish.
Even pro-amateur images tend to look better then something some twit shot with his phone. Another good indicator, are the images local. Years ago a girl send me a pic supposedly of herself, in the picture was a candy bar, "twix".
Problem? She was supposed to be dutch and back then they were called raider.
Basically what I am trying to say, are these images taken by him or by that camera. Were they send to him by someone else who made the images themselves OR did he just download porn.
His line that he doesn't know how they on there. Yeah right, if you believe that I got a couple of bridges you might be intrested in.
The car door, now that is suspicious. You wouldn't expect many car doors at that time of night but are you sure your ears are not playing tricks on you?
All three things combined, yes, there is some reason to be suspicious. But each on their own may have innocent enough explanations.
Some porn a mate send him and he is ashamed to admit it.
He did get a lift from a girl and didn't want to worry you about it.
He simply stays a bit longer since you are sleeping anyway and it is thing people do.
Flirting doesn't have to lead to cheating, doing it in front of you just means he is a bit of a prick.
On their own, harmless, together, danger! Talk to him about it BUT don't be too confrontational, nobody likes to be accused if they are innocent.
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A
female
reader, Emmy-Lou +, writes (22 March 2008):
 My boyfriend not only works in a pub but lives there too!
I know it's hard, but I have to be blunt and say that by the sounds of it, it seems there may be something going on.
It's true that they do stay after work for drinks, my boyfriend has been out at work and rolled in at 7am before now.
My advice would be, watch him closely, but try not too get to stressed about it, it can harm your baby.
The easiest way to tell is when you notice slight changes, like a different haircut, different style of clothes and hings like that. If you see it happening, then tell him outright that you know something going on. If there is something going on and you pester him long enough, he'll be bound to tell you!
Hope this helps and good luck to you and the baby.
x
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