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Pregnant with my cheating boyfriend's baby! Should I have it?

Tagged as: Breaking up, Cheating, Pregnancy, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (22 March 2008) 12 Answers - (Newest, 5 May 2008)
A female United States age 41-50, anonymous writes:

me and my boyfriend are having alot of issues right now.right after Valentines Day I found out that he cheated on me. he treated me like crap for awhile then we tried to work things out. Things arent the same, but we tried to work on them. I just found out that Im pregnant(im guessing about 5 weeks or).Well my bfriend is going thru ALOT right now. He lost his job in Dec,his car got re- poed last weekend, he already has 3 oter kids and is behind on child support so the 2 babies mother's are down his throaght about that,his bother(roomate) is ready to kick him out because he's so behind on rent-so when i told him thatI was pregnant,he WAS NOT happy at all and he wants me to get rid of it.I was considering it up until yesterday. I would regret having an abortion for the rest of my life plus I was told that I might not be able to have anymore kids so this is bleesing. i told my bfriend I was going to do it at first but i only have one 5 yr old son and he wants a brother or sister cuz he's lonely.i dont want to tell my boyfriend that Im keeping the baby cuz it he will just call me selfish and wont speak to me for awhile. what do I do?

View related questions: abortion, cheated on me, lost his job

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (5 May 2008):

I would vote to abort the baby.

It's not an easy decision but this is about the child. I feel a child deserves the best we can give it in the world. If not then we are having it for selfish reasons.

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A female reader, onecrazybabi99 United States +, writes (4 May 2008):

hey my boyfriend is a jerk too and cheated once and I am sure he still is cheating, but im keeping the baby no matter what he wants to do! He also doesn't work and parties all the time. I wish you the best and its your decison. In my opin think you should keep the baby and I am sure you can find a successfull and sweet man that will be there for you throughout this! I am trying to work it out with my boyfriend, but he is a pain in the butt. Just hope this advice helped!

I am 4 months pregnant and proud that i am going to be a young mom!!!!

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A female reader, pixeydust United States +, writes (28 April 2008):

pixeydust agony auntI got pregnant at 15 or 16 (got pregnant around my birthday) and got married at 16, had the baby at 16. Had another baby almost a year later. I am now 30 had another baby last year. I gave that one up for adoption. You have to consider what is best for the child, not just what is best for you, you may want a little brother or sister for your other child, but it doesn't sound like your boyfriend can help you raise the child, so the question is....can YOU afford to raise the child? If not then I would so don't keep the child...definately don't go with abortion, I'd go with adoption. There are alot of other mother's and father's out there that can't have children that would love to have a child that can support the child the way that it needs and should be supported. I know it will be the hardest thing you have to do, it was for me, but you need to do what is best for the CHILD. You can have an open-end adoption, which means that you can see the child if you want to, some mothers opt not to do this #1 They don't want the child to know that they gave them up or #2 It hurts the birth-mother too much too know that they gave up their own child. It does get easier though. I have an open-end adoption myself. Things will turn out better in the end. Remember just ask yourself "Can I afford to raise this child AND the child that I already have"? If the answer is "no" then your best bet is adoption, for the child's sake. You want to do what is best for your child....right?

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A female reader, Teen_Mom2b United States +, writes (7 April 2008):

I think u should keep your baby because its not your babies fault that's its father is a cheater. I know you would regret it if you got an abortion. Im in the same situation that you are mine may be a little different from yours though. My boyfriend cheated on me once that I know of and I believe he continues to and I just found out a couple of days ago that im pregnant. I want to keep my baby regardless of what my childs father has done and is doing. Hang in there and love your child. God bless u.

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A female reader, Laura1318 Malaysia +, writes (24 March 2008):

Laura1318 agony auntDo you love children?

This will decide whether he will be born or become another piece of unwanted meat.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (23 March 2008):

I would have the baby and dump the guy. You are too good for him and should move on and take whatever lumps go along with that unfortunately. good luck with your decision

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A reader, anonymous, writes (23 March 2008):

I personally DO NOT agree with abortions! they are wrong, out of order and should only be done if there is serious health issues that could effect either the baby or the mother in any way. im 16 in may and already a mum due to rape, thats a different story but you really should not take out your boyfriends behavour on a baby, you would regret getting rid of it maybe you would regret having the baby but im sure youd love it =] good luck what ever you do hun. decide soon?! x

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A male reader, LazyGuy Netherlands +, writes (22 March 2008):

LazyGuy agony auntYou are already raising one child? If this is not a problem, another shouldn't really make much difference should it?

If I read it correctly you are living on your own so already a single mother just with a deadbeat boyfriend?

Keep the baby, ditch the boyfriend and get your life in order.

If you keep the baby you have two little kids to take care off and you can't keep living like this. You need to accept that you can't spend time on losers anymore hoping they will grow up, playtime is over.

What exactly made you hook up with this guy in the first place, the guy has so many red flags he should rent himself out to a chinese parade. He is going through a lot? What you mean unlike you are?

Stop making excuses for this piece of trash.

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A female reader, xapathyxrebornx United Kingdom +, writes (22 March 2008):

xapathyxrebornx agony auntIts your body and your choice, its also not just your fault your pregnant, its his, he should face up to his responsabilites. It will be hard but im sure you can do it =]

message me if you wanna talkXx

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (22 March 2008):

Your boyfriend is a scumbag. Have the baby, put it up for adoption, and never talk to him again.

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A male reader, Dazzerg United Kingdom +, writes (22 March 2008):

Dazzerg agony auntWell it is your body so ultimately, though his feelings should of course be considered, the choice is yours. As regards being selfish, he has little room to talk. Of course the other main criteria when judging what you do should be the quality of life that you can provide for this child and from what you said here that would be the only question mark.

I think your real concern is that if you go ahead with this it will put your relationship back on dodgy ground so soon after you have worked through a rough patch. This has to be a consideration because part of the quality of life criteria is the ability for you to provide a stable home enviroment. Whatever you choose to do, good luck :)

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A reader, anonymous, writes (22 March 2008):

Don't kill it!

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