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... Send *azyGuy a private message | | | *azyGuy's profile:I am 37 year old dutch male who used to think he was the mythical "nice guy" but realized that he really was just to lazy to be bad.
Worked a lot of different jobs, going where-ever the money happens to be and traveled a bit. |
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| Latest articles: Men can't read women
This question has 5 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
30 March 2008: Slashdot is a geek site focussing mostly on tech. Relationship advice is not something you will find there, but this story just has to be mentioned. http://entertainment.slashdot.org/article.pl?sid=08/03/30/0028211 http://www.livescience.co...
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Does my husband love me or is it over for him?
Q. I have been married over 8 years my husband works a lot of hours and he is always busy I got sick a while back and I was very week I asked him if he can stay with me that day His answer was I am not a doctor or do you want me to stay and hold yo...
A. 16 February 2009: Just how sick?
You are aware that there is an economic crisis? Staying home with a wife who got the sniffles is hardly a sound career move.
If you were on the other hand just inches away from the grave then yes, that is pretty insensitive.
... (read in full...)
Why is it soooo hard for guys to express their feelings?
Q. Ok, so this V-Day started off great with my boyfriend! But ended in a disaster. :-( We've been dating for almost a month. We watched a live sports game. Afterwards, he had planned for us to go to a hotel, with jacuzzi, and have a little wine. I j...
A. 16 February 2009: Women talk about problems, men fix them. It is why women are better at relationships but it is men who create things.
Basically, if you told a woman you had a nasty bacterial infection she would comfort you as you slowly wasted away and tried to... (read in full...)
I don't have any faith in myself anymore!
Q. I have very low self esteem. Im 20 years old and i have no boobs what so ever. I cant come for the life of me. I feel completely defective as a woman. My boyfriend used to read porn before he came with me, but he stopped after starting a ...
A. 16 February 2009: http://www.toxicmagazine.com/smallestcelebrityboobs.shtml??1
So, which of these women on this list is defective as a woman? Well okay Paris Hilton sure is defective but then she is hardly flat is she?
Crude? Yeah sure, but the simple fact is t... (read in full...)
He never wants to spend quality time with me and I'm beginning to distrust him.
Q. I am a 25 year old black girl dating a 50 year old white guy, we've been dating for a year now. He told me that he separated with his wife but my corncern is he only sees me during weekends and he told me that he will make love to me if only I get ...
A. 16 February 2009: Sounds like me you are his mistress. He might not be married but you sure as hell aren't on the short list to be his future wife.... (read in full...)
What a guy wants...?
Q. This is a question to be answered by the fellas. It seems it is so confusing what you guys want. You all want sex and you want to sleep with a girl early on in a relationship. But, if a girl does sleep with you early on, then she is too easy and ...
A. 16 February 2009: Shrug, what do women want? You want a guy who is nice, one you can depend on, who treats you right, yet you date the once who treat you like dirt.
You can't figure out the other sex and according to a gay friend it don't even work with your own... (read in full...)
Should I buy him a better present next time or is he not being fair on me?
Q. Heya, these are the presents I bought for my valentines. I though about them really carefully before I bought them and each one of them has a meaning behind it. A teddy bear (it was a erally cute valentines one and reminded me of him because ...
A. 15 February 2009: How do you know he didn't like them? You don't say.
That he isn't going to show them to his mom means nothing. Do you know what a mother will do to a son who is being given cuddly toys by his girlfriend? He might as well invite you while his moth... (read in full...)
What can be done about the lack of passion and all the other flaws in my marriage?
Q. Hi all, this is going to be long and complicated but I would really appreciate your help. I met my husband 8 years ago and we have just had a gorgeous daughter. Up until around 6 months ago we had a good relationship. Now I am all messed up ...
A. 15 February 2009: Oh dear. Let me tell you what has happened. You took up the "boyfriend project" and you failed.
You are the female equavillent of the husband who gets all excited about redoing the bathroom and a decade later it is still a construction zone.
... (read in full...)
Dump or no dump?
Q. Today is Valentine's Day and I got a Valentine e-mail from the guy I've been dating for a year. I know things are tight, but come on... For Christmas, he asked what I wanted and I said I wanted charms for my bracelet. Guess what he got for me? ...
A. 15 February 2009: How is he the rest of the time? Some guys are bad at giving gifts. What is his attitude during dates? To live in general.
Is he frugal in all his dealings or just with gift giving to you? What is his disposable income?
Your story is far to ... (read in full...)
I have clitoridean orgasms, but not during sex, what's wrong?
Q. Im having A MAJOR NIGHTMARE I can orgasm with clitorial stimulation. But I cant have one during sex ! no matter how hard we try. weve tried positions and everything ! WHATS WRONG WITH ME??????? I WILL EXPLODE ! [Moderator's note: You say you ca...
A. 15 February 2009: Nothing is wrong. It might be just the way you are build. Try using a dildo when you are alone (so there is no pressure) and see if you can find a way to achieve an orgasm with that with just insertion. A vibrator won't work because a real penis ... (read in full...)
Lonely city chick!
Q. I feel lonely. I live in a city in which the only person I had was my bf. I kicked him out a couple of weeks ago and has not come back. We had a family phone plan and I decided to look through our monthly statements and found out he was talking ...
A. 15 February 2009: Let me guess, when people talk about low-self-esteem complexes you don't feel good enough for one?
YOU are the one better of without HIM.
What you need to do is accept that YOU and YOU alone are responsible for your happiness. You cannot let i... (read in full...)
Friend wants to go on a cruise, does it mean something more?
Q. I've known this girl I'm about to discuss since probably as far back as middle school. (I'm 24 now). We went to middle and high school together and were in a lot of the same classes, but we never really hung out after school during that time, maybe ...
A. 13 February 2009: "Just a friend" is such a stupid phrase. As if friendship ain't something special to be treasured.
She seems to think you are a close enough friend to spend a week on a boat. Splitting a room is fine enough but wouldn't it make more sense to spit ... (read in full...)
Is this against the law?
Q. Hi hope someone can help.I've been divorced for about 10mnths and have met a wonderful guy..ive been seeing him for about 3months now and we want to take our relationship further.we have a romantic evening planned for valentines day and i was really ...
A. 13 February 2009: There was a time, and with the credit crisis we might get it again, when there was a serious clamp down on social services to get the numbers down.
This measure comes from that era. I don't know about england but in the netherlands they really d... (read in full...)
How can I be me again? I don't like the bitter person I've become!
Q. Hi. I have been married twice and have kids from both marriages. I am not saying that i am a perfect angel and did not contribute to where i am today but i have been beaten and cheated on and i am the type of person that gives her all in a ...
A. 13 February 2009: Monkey see, monkey do.
What were the type of relationships you saw as a child and what were the type of relationships you had as an adult?
Are you following in the footsteps of your mother and other female relatives? Your mother married a... (read in full...)
If he's telling the truth why won't he take the lie detector test?
Q. My husband of 10 1/2 years says he didn't cheat on me. However, I don't believe him and want him to take a lie detector test. He said, "I will not take one because of my integrity. And, I know I didn't do anything." So, my question is...if he ...
A. 13 February 2009: He ain't telling the truth. Come on, who keeps numbers of sex-workers, oops sorry massagers, around just in case he needs them? It is trivially easy to find REAL massages and equally trivial to seperate them from the "massage" places.
He has been... (read in full...)
Would a guy really sleep with you for a year if he was not really attracted to you, just for sex?
Q. I have been sleeping with this guy for about a year now on and off. We have not made a commitment to each other and it has never ever been brought up in a conversation. My friends just think he is using me and that I am just giving it away f...
A. 12 February 2009: Would a guy really sleep with you for a year if he was not really attracted to you, just for sex? Surely he would get bored and leave, if it was not good.
Men are from mars, women are from the planet STUPID!
Perhaps you need to turn the questio... (read in full...)
Afraid of making the wrong choice!
Q. Torn between two men and I can't decide. One is patient, kind, buys me lots of nice things and treats me well. But I'm not really attracted to him. He is very quiet, and I don't feel close to him; I don't feel lik I really know him even after many ...
A. 10 February 2009: And here in a nutshell we got the answer to 33% of the questions on dearcupid. "Why can't I find a nice guy".
Because nice guys are BORING. Some women just want the guys that hurt them. It really isn't that suprising. We feel most alive when thi... (read in full...)
He went to whores and prostitutes while I was on holiday!!!
Q. I went on a vacation with my baby and when I was gone my husband got totally wasted with some friends and went to a whore house and had sex with a prostitute. Right after I got home from my vacation my husband and I put our child to sleep and he ...
A. 10 February 2009: You went on vacation with YOUR baby? Not OUR baby? Is the baby his?
What is going on that you ain't telling? The background story?
Yes, what he did is wrong, but is it part of a larger problem in your marriage?... (read in full...)
Can actually I find a nice honest guy out there who doesn't play games?
Q. Id like to ask those males out there or the women who its happened too! Is there some hope of finding a nice honest loving man. Who would give u the earth? Who wanna settle down and have a family.marriage? Cos i just seem to think that there isnt! I ...
A. 9 February 2009: I went fishing last week. Couldn't catch any tuna. I spend AGES throwing lures, waiting with rod in hand by the river Maas. No tuna. It is to despair.
Silly? Expecting to find tuna in a river? Perhaps, but not as silly as some women who hang out... (read in full...)
Desperate for some physical arousal!
Q. I never get physically aroused any more, and that's making me desperate! I'm 20. I was always horny, lol. Ever since puberty, I'd check out guys, have fantasies, etc. I got together with my boyfriend and I was hornier than ever! I was always fanta...
A. 7 February 2009: I think you are still in a depression. It might seem to come and go and you might be bursting with energy right now but that doesn't mean the depression is over.
Get some help before you fall back again and can't get up the energy to do it.... (read in full...)
Do boys find a girl swearing attractive?
Q. Like in a tomboyish way. Girls who act like boys not in a lesbian way like the way they act and everything (you know what I mean) OR ANOTHER TYPE OF girly girls like sluts who think ther're all "IT".. They also swear alot and dab on makeup so muc...
A. 7 February 2009: Might as well ask, what kind of boy do girls find attractive? Pretty sure your answer will be different from the next woman.
The best advice, and the hardest to follow at your age, is "BE YOURSELF".
... (read in full...)
My guy friend has anger management problems, how can I get him to understand that?
Q. Hi im 17 and I've been having this problem with one of my really close guy friends. His mother has recently passed away and he's only 16. the only people he has in his life is me and his sister. Everytime we are together which is alot he always ...
A. 7 February 2009: You want to help him. Fine, leave him alone. Being a punching bag for him is NOT helping him. He needs real help, not someone who just lets him go out of control with no consequences.
Sorry, but you just ain't though enough to deal with this, fe... (read in full...)
My intelligence may be getting in the way of our relationship, any ideas?
Q. My boyfriend (we're both 16) thinks I need to stop being smarter then him. He gets d's and c's well I get b's and a's. I don't rub it in his face at all (plus I think its rude as well) and I have been offering to help him get his grades back up but ...
A. 7 February 2009: When I was young I wanted to become a baker. That means going to lower technical school. I have a fairly high IQ. Not a good thing to have there so I learned to not show it. To lower my grades so I wouldn't stand out.
BAD IDEA. Years later I ... (read in full...)
How do people deal with turning 30?
Q. how do people deal with turning 30. don't say its just a number becasue it's not .any techniques at all. because i am turning 30 i never had a boyfreind i didn't even get my first kiss sad i know life is very hard for me and still is.what do i do....
A. 6 February 2009: Simple, it ain't 40. Now dealing with turning 40, that is the big one :)... (read in full...)
How does one move on from feeling like they need someone to feeling complete on their own?
Q. I've given up hope on finding love, I don't think it's for me. How does one move on from feeling like they need someone to feel complete?...
A. 6 February 2009: Get a life. A hobby, a job you enjoy doing, your own friends and an active social life.
It might even suprise you that when you are happy on your own love is a lot easier to find. When you are no longer dependant on the other person for your hap... (read in full...)
My daughter got pregnant with a man who is disrespectful and unkind and moved away with him. How can I feel better?
Q. Hi. I was just wondering how long it will take for my 19 year old daughter to wake up and see reality? She got pregnant with a guy who is 20, and he is very disrespectful, unkind, selfish and arrogant. He disrespected me right from the very ...
A. 5 February 2009: Women believe in love. That love will save the day and everything will result in a happy ending.
Mothers don't come into this, advice does not. In fact the harder people protest, the more romantic it is. The world trying to tear two lovers a... (read in full...)
B/f depressed and I'm not sure how to help him
Q. My boyfriend gets really depressed alot and until now i've been able to cope with talking him through it even though alot of what he says to me really hurts. When hes depressed he will say things like theres not point us being together or i do...
A. 5 February 2009: A depression is hard to deal with because the one thing you need to do, take charge is precisly what a depression stops you from doing.
Going to the doctor for it is the best thing, not just because it means you are going to get help but because ... (read in full...)
Should I wait 5 years for him to leave his wife?
Q. I have been seeing this man for almost three years now. He is perfect. He is kind, caring considerate, attentive, loving, great in the sack the problem is he is married. He has a child from the previous marriage and states he can't leave his new ...
A. 4 February 2009: He said he would be true to her until death took them apart. She believed him.... (read in full...)
Hubby with escourt while I was out of country at funeral!
Q. Hello, I have been married for 14 years this June, no kids. My husband has always been into Porn websites and I have confronted him numerous times but he still goes onto them sites. We have not had sex in I dont know how long and its not from...
A. 4 February 2009: "he dont even know where we keep a can opener"
Cats tolerate human beings until someone invents a can opener that can be operated with paws.
A joke, but do you see that it applies to you?
What are to him. A wive, partner, lover or a hous... (read in full...)
In love and want to take the step to forever!
Q. i have been with the same guy for almost a year now. we get along great. this is the same guy i almost married years ago. i have come to the conclusion that he will never stop drinking on a daily basis. i accept it. i dont approve of it but ...
A. 4 February 2009: What is marriage to you? What for that matter is love?
I get the feeling you want to get married at any cost. Your happiness, your dreams, your goals.
So be it. Hope you still feel the same in 10 years when you are later forties and thin... (read in full...)
Why are people so hostile when they hear the truth?
Q. why are there so many people in society and especially on here that get so hostile? everyone asks for advice, but when some of them are given answers they turn nasty and don't want to know. or you just get plain rudeness. if you don't want to h...
A. 4 February 2009: As said, people often just want to be told what they want to hear. If you go against that it upsets their world view.
People in trouble are often there for a reason, they didn't make the right choice. But human nature is such that we then start to... (read in full...)
Can you get addicted from smoking just once?
Q. well i am 19 years old..and i have never smoked a cigarette all my life..all my friends do..i want to try smoking 2 just once..is there anything wrong in smoking once..or would i get addicted???...
A. 4 February 2009: Probably not although that raises the question when do you become addicted?
Because nobody kept smoking because they liked it so much the first time.
Best to just not bother with it. It is expensive, causes bad health, hurts your looks and s... (read in full...)
Why does our country (UK) come to a standstill when it snows when other countries manage to keep going with transport etc?
Q. Why can't the UK get it's self together and provide snow ploughs and more gritting lorries when it snows, instead of just giving a weather warning out and having drivers crash? Why does the country have to come to a standstill? They want us to use ...
A. 3 February 2009: Sure, you had ten meters snow, we had two flakes and it caused a panic.
People are idiots and budgets are cut until the system is hanging by it nails and then it fails. But don't worry, in a week the snow will have melted and the next Idols wi... (read in full...)
Pregnant and not feeling ANY effort on his part, help!
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together about 2 years (in May). I am 4 1/2 months pregnant with his child. For the first part of our relationship he was an abusive alcoholic (up until he became sober 4 months ago). 3 times he destroyed my home, he ...
A. 3 February 2009: So, what is so nice about him?
Just how bad has everyone else treated you that you think this guy is nice.
Open your eyes, you mention not a single nice thing about. Nothing, no "I love you's", no romantic gestures, no kindness not even basic p... (read in full...)
What are these guys thinking?
Q. Over the last couple of years, I have had several guys do this to me and it is driving me crazy. These guys take my things without asking. The first time, a nice guy took my calculator all the time without asking. At first I asked for it back, but ...
A. 3 February 2009: Do they do the same thing to other people? Some people just haven't been raised right. They believe that can just take anything they want because well, nobody ever told them that you should ask first. They feel entitled to just 'borrow' anything and ... (read in full...)
Should I give in and have this abortion?
Q. right here goes im 21 years old im pregnant and facing one of the hardest desicions i think il ever have to make......my partner of 5 years and my 2 year old daughters dad has informed me he doesnt want another chid and wants me to have a aborti...
A. 2 February 2009: If you got to ask, the answer is no.
Mind you that doesn't make it any easier to deal with the situation. Yes, this might cause a rift.
But if you fear he might resent you for giving birth to this baby, isn't the change equally great you will r... (read in full...)
Does this mean my mum suspects I'm gay?
Q. Hey eveyone, just so you know right from the begining, I'm 15 and gay. Im still in the closet about the whole thing. Now, my mum always makes the comment of, "you will make your wife very happy" or "you will make your girlfriend really happy" j...
A. 2 February 2009: Sounds like she is getting the picture. I would have a talk with her, doesn't seem like she is going to judge you harshly and if you are going to come out, you are going to need all the support you can get.... (read in full...)
Did I just experience an orgasm?
Q. I need your help girls. I need to know if this was an orgasm or not... when my bf would finger me on my clitoris I would start getting short breaths and making noises and breathing heavily and very very fast and I would grasp him very very tight... ...
A. 1 February 2009: Oh and you might tell him that continues direct clitoril stimulation is not the best way. Variation and as the girl gets more excited changes in her body MIGHT in some girls cause the clit to become to senstive to stand to much stimulation.
... (read in full...)
Did I just experience an orgasm?
Q. I need your help girls. I need to know if this was an orgasm or not... when my bf would finger me on my clitoris I would start getting short breaths and making noises and breathing heavily and very very fast and I would grasp him very very tight... ...
A. 1 February 2009: Orgasms are like sticking your fingers in the light socket. When it happens, you know it.... (read in full...)
I know I'm still young but I'm so scared to be alone.
Q. I am 25 I have a daughter with my ex. We have been broken up for at least 5 years. I was in a relationship after that and when we broke up seeing guys here and there. I know I'm still young but I'm so scared to be alone. I was trying to explain to ...
A. 1 February 2009: Oprah Winfrey mode. If you want to find happiness in love you got to learn to love yourself first.
Or put another way, only when you are happy to be on your own, can you be happy with some else.
Until then, as long as you date because you are ... (read in full...)
I want a boyfriend!
Q. im 17 havnt had a boyfreind since i was 14. im attractive even if i do say so myself but the thing is men or boys dont seem to be intrested thy treat me like one of the boys we have a laugh ect. im allways myself around boys/men.. bubb...
A. 1 February 2009: No, they are not afraid you bite. They are afraid you are going to turn them down and humiliate them.
OR they might not even realize that you are available. Typically, the confident women are already spoken for. That is why they are confiden... (read in full...)
Different position hurt--is that normal?
Q. Hi, I have a bit of a strange question. Im sorry if this sounds awful. Last night whilst having sex we tryed a different position wth me bent over and I found it realy uncomfortable and i dont know if it was because he was going realy fast. it w...
A. 1 February 2009: You probably mean a variation of doggy style. It is well known that this allows for deeper penetration. The angle might also be an issue. Try this, put a finger in your mouth and move it in and out. goes fine right? Now do the same with your finger ... (read in full...)
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