A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: I've known this girl I'm about to discuss since probably as far back as middle school. (I'm 24 now). We went to middle and high school together and were in a lot of the same classes, but we never really hung out after school during that time, maybe once or twice with a group only.Since I graduated from high school in 2002, we've maybe seen each other 2-3 times at most, and had only occasionally chatted online from time to time.We recently started talking a little more now that i've moved back to the same city that she's in, and got together with a group of friends about 2 weeks ago.Last week she asked if I wanted to go on a cruise with her. She was going with her a couple people from her family, and 2 cousins and I think she was trying to find someone to split a room with. I coincidently had the same vacation week off and said sure.My question is even though we've been casual friends over the past few years, do you think this may be a way for her to get to know me better and develop this friendship into something more or do you think she see's this as just 2 friends going to have fun with no strings attached. Any opinions would be appreciated.-Curious
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 February 2009): If I took a guy on a cruise it would be because I wanted more. So probably yes she wants more. Ask her if you really want to know but if you don't want anymore don't worry about asking her just make sure that no boundaries get crossed and tell her that you want to remain friends with her, and nothing more.
A
male
reader, LazyGuy +, writes (13 February 2009):
"Just a friend" is such a stupid phrase. As if friendship ain't something special to be treasured.
She seems to think you are a close enough friend to spend a week on a boat. Splitting a room is fine enough but wouldn't it make more sense to spit it with a girl? After all, if she is NOT intrested in you and meets a guy on the cruise, well that would be akward wouldn't it?
So I would say that you might want to check your eyes. I think you been walking around with them shut.
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A
female
reader, k_c100 +, writes (13 February 2009):
Its hard to say as you dont really give much background here (did you used to date, do you want something more from this relationship etc). But in my opinion (being female!) I would never invite a man on holiday with me, especially one that is a casual friend, unless I wanted something to happen.
I have lots of male friends and would go on holiday with them however I have lived with this group of guys for three years so they are definately close friends. And you mention it is with her family - if she wants you to be around them then I guess it means something more.
But please dont take my word for it - this is only my opinion! I dont want you to make a move and then you find out she only wants to be friends! I say go on the holiday, have a good time and see what happens. There is no pressure to define what the two of you are doing just yet. Enjoy yourself and her company - hopefully during the cruise you will get a better idea of where you stand!
Good luck and have fun!
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