A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Im having A MAJOR NIGHTMARE I can orgasm with clitorial stimulation. But I cant have one during sex ! no matter how hard we try. weve tried positions and everything ! WHATS WRONG WITH ME??????? I WILL EXPLODE ![Moderator's note: You say you can't have an orgasm during penetrative sex, do you mean clitoredean or vaginal as you don't specify this? Please update, thank you.]
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female
reader, Firefighter's Wife 09  +, writes (15 February 2009):
Hey don't feel alone. I have never had an orgasm with just penetration. I'd say at least 90% of woman can't. The only way I ever orgasm is if I play with my clit while my hubby is inside me. Or if I use a vibrator. If he stimulates my G spot and clit at the same time my orgasm is intense. But never from just penetration alone. Sorry love!
Good luck
A
female
reader, wonderingcat +, writes (15 February 2009):
 I used to think that too, until a partner (about 10 years) ago "hit the spot" during intercourse ... and I was never the same after that! LOL
Interestingly, we were so "busy" we sort forgot which how it happened that one time so we "practiced" all the more until I could identify how I could have climaxes (penetrative, clitoral, nipples!) LOL
The point is, you need to "listen" to what your body is saying with each different "experience" (or experiment) and go from there.
Lots of luck (and loving) :-)
Cat
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 February 2009): I have gone through my life having very few orgasms during penetration...only with clitoral stimulation. I have learned to compensate for that with lots of foreplay and especially having him go down on me first to cause an orgasm, then with penetration, I am able to reach climax again (sometimes, not always) I am fortunate enough to have a man that enjoys pleasing me (and I pleasing him) It all works out for us.
Just keep experimenting, enjoy the journey...don't worry so much about the destination!
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A
female
reader, aunty jess +, writes (15 February 2009):
 lol you seem very vexed about this situation
basically i am the same
i can orgasm with clitoral stimulation, but not during penetrative sex. however i have found ways around this, trying different positions can change the way in which he penetrates you and can cause a hightened stimulation whilst having sex i find if we both sit up and have sex, it is much more pleasurable maybe its just finding the right technique. its not abnormal for women not to climax whilst having penetrative sex
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 February 2009): You have very strange nightmares, mine is usual of monsters, not oragasms.
Nothing is wrong with you (except the strange nightmares) you are normal in this respect. You can try too hard. So go find the stuff on slow build up etc. on the web
but your message is confusing - you can climax from clit stimulation outside of intercourse? but not sure if you can clitorially climax whilst actually shagging? ok so if this is the case - then get him to play with your clit whilst shagging and a vibe will help with this.
If you are looking for a different vaginal orgasm then agree with above, but think you need to find G spot or similar(and now realise i am not an expert in this field as i am male, so will shut up and let better qualified people talk). toys again will help in finding the right place.
Some women never have more than just clitoral and some never during penetration. Find something that works for you and stop trying so hard.
Hugs Star.x.
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A
male
reader, LazyGuy  +, writes (15 February 2009):
 Nothing is wrong. It might be just the way you are build. Try using a dildo when you are alone (so there is no pressure) and see if you can find a way to achieve an orgasm with that with just insertion. A vibrator won't work because a real penis does not vibrate.
It might that you just don't get enough sensation from vaginal stimulation to trigger an orgasm. What then might still work is to adjust the angle of penetration in such a way that the clitoris is still stimulated by the movement of your vaginal lips. Push the penetration up against the top of your vagina.
There are also toys that might help. Penis rings with an attachement that would bump into your clit during sex or wearable vibrating toys that you place on top of your clit.
Manual stimulation by either of you might also work.
It is myth that all women can come just from penetration alone.
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