A
female
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anonymous
writes:Hi hope someone can help.I've been divorced for about 10mnths and have met a wonderful guy..ive been seeing him for about 3months now and we want to take our relationship further.we have a romantic evening planned for valentines day and i was really looking forward to it! but a friend has told me that because im on income support(ex left me with 2 young kids to raise)i am breaking the law by allowing my new man to stay the night regardless if its valentines or not..we were hoping he would be able to stay once or twice week!!I've had a look on the benefits websites and the governments site but cant find any info atall,one way or the other.the only things i have found are questions that date back to the 90's. I really dont know what to do...if it is against the law then i'll have to tell him no,but how can we further our relationship when i would lose my money if he stayed?any advice is greatly appreciated.Thanks
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 February 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for the advice Ladies,not so worried about Valentines night but was hoping this could be a regular occurence,maybe 2 nights a week when ex has the kids? have got in touch with DWP thru their site but i guess im still concerned as i've never so much as bent the law let alone break it!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 February 2009): If somebody stays over 3 days straight then yeah there's the miniscule risk that you'll lose benefits, but realistically what are the chances of being caught?
I mean people who get caught for that are the ones that are claiming while their boyfriend has moved in clothes and all.
It is for them to prove you're in the wrong and what are the chances of an inspector calling over? Or somebody ratting you out?
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male
reader, LazyGuy  +, writes (13 February 2009):
 There was a time, and with the credit crisis we might get it again, when there was a serious clamp down on social services to get the numbers down.
This measure comes from that era. I don't know about england but in the netherlands they really did send investigators around to your house to count the number of toothbrushes.
Those days are, for now, over. England might be different but it would have to be pretty bad for you to get into trouble for a "sleepover". Lets face it, you won't be sleeping much will you?
The idea behind the checks was to stop people claiming single benefits when they were in practice a family.
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A
female
reader, hurtingcouple  +, writes (13 February 2009):
no its not against the law to have someone sleep over. you can get in trouble if you have him move in & not tell them. my cousin is on it too & she was able to let her brother stay for two weeks & she notified them but after that he had to go. so have fun let him sleep over & continue it like you plan. hope you guys have a happy valentines day!
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 February 2009): one nights fine seriously
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