A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have very low self esteem. Im 20 years old and i have no boobs what so ever. I cant come for the life of me. I feel completely defective as a woman. My boyfriend used to read porn before he came with me, but he stopped after starting a relationship with me.Weve been together a year and everything is great apart from the bedroom. I cant do anything. I dont feel turned on half the time and do it just to please him. The only thing that made me feel special was that i was the only girl he'd slept with and seen in the flesh. For uni we've now to do life drawing classes of figurative studies. I've been stressing out for ages about it and now its finally happend. The only thing that comforted me was at least she cant be hot. She was was very skinny, very very pretty and had very big boobs. OF course leaving the class all i heard from the guys was wow that was great etc. I SHARE THIS CLASS WITH MY BOYFRIEND. I had to stand behind him and watch him as he stared at this other girl who was a thousand times more a woman than i could EVER be. All i have in my head now is how gorgeous she was next to me. Hes now seen and stood in the same room as another naked girl and i dont feel special at all anymore. I feel completely worthless! Im not the only girl hes seen and i cant see him admiring me as he used to. He loved big boobs and all the rest of it before, why would it change since hes been out with me? I stood in that hall feeling every second like a bullet ripping through me. i wanted to be sick. I wanted to run out the room and i spent the break crying in the bathroom.What hurts more is there will be a new model every week from now on. One more girl to add to the list. It cuts like a knife. I dont think i can lie with him and have any faith in myself from now on.
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male
reader, LazyGuy  +, writes (16 February 2009):
 http://www.toxicmagazine.com/smallestcelebrityboobs.shtml??1
So, which of these women on this list is defective as a woman? Well okay Paris Hilton sure is defective but then she is hardly flat is she?
Crude? Yeah sure, but the simple fact is that in most cases when NOT dealing with teenage boys it is WOMEN who are obsessed with breast sizes NOT MEN.
So why do men go crazy over big breasts? They don't. They go crazy over BREASTS! It is boobies regardless of size that we stare at. Sure, bigger ones are more easily noticable but that is mostly because girls with bigger breasts show them more.
As said, who on that link I gave you would the average guy NOT want in his bed?
Yes, there are some guys who only want big boobs but if your bf was like that he wouldn't be with you. He knows what size you got and he is with you. Yes he stared at another girl who was naked. If some good looking guy, with far more muscles then your boyfriend, taller then your boyfriend, more tanned then your boyfriend etc etc would you not have looked?
You got to build up your own self-esteem. Don't see your boobs as a defiency but as a strength SAME as the women in the above link. You might be flat but that also means they don't sag or flop all over the place when you bend forwards or go hide in your armpits.
Look in the mirror and do NOT just see the small tits but the whole woman. Let that image work for you like it does for countless women with small breasts who are 100% woman and know it and because they know it the rest of the world knows it.
Building self-esteem is hard especially about your own looks but without self-esteem even the most perfect person will think they are unattractive.
You also mention being unable to come, could that be related to your negative self-image? That you are so worried about it you can't relax enough to enjoy sex?
Is there someone in your social circle who has a similar build but does have self confidence? Perhaps you can ask them for dress tips. Mimic their style to show of the best side of you. If the self-esteem can't be fixed on your own you might consider seeking proffesional help because it can seriously affect your mental health.
A
female
reader, nikki485  +, writes (16 February 2009):
You should see a doctor about your low self esteem.
You will meet that specail someone when the time is right.
Most people don't marry at 20 either.
You go to college.
Since you go to college your going to be smart.
Since your going to be smart your going to get a great job.
YOU ROCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Now believe in that always and4ever.
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A
male
reader, Kepi +, writes (16 February 2009):
 Heyyyyyyyyyyyyyy............
your guy has been with you for a year, this says something, I'm sure he's seen plenty of (what u consider to be more attractive girls) every day when he's with you, but he's still with you!!!
If your worried about your sex life, well talk with your boyfirend about it, maybe you need to do some exploring, the BBC website has some great information on relationships etc, so take a trip to it and get reading, follow the advice and things are bound to improve.
As for the girl in the life art class...... she's a model, something to draw, you've got tons more things in your favour than she has, your boyfriend loves you for something more than physical aspects, he loves u cos you're you (besides, I bet you've got a much better personality than some life model anyway :) )
Don't put yourself down, be confident in the person that you are, we all have self percieved imperfections that our loved ones either completely fail to see, or see them as unique things that make you 'you' the person they love :)
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