A
female
age
30-35,
*livia(Y).
writes:My boyfriend gets really depressed alot and until now i've been able to cope with talking him through it even though alot of what he says to me really hurts.When hes depressed he will say things like theres not point us being together or i don't love you basically things like that i know he doesn't mean it as he tells me afterwards that he loves me and hes so sorry for what hes said but i don't know how to cope anymore. Its getting me down so much but i love him to much to leave him. He won't go to the doctors about it. He also won't speak to his parents because he doesn't get on with them.I just don't know what to do to make him happier. We are in a long distance relationship but we speak for ages on the phone everyday. I just want him to be happy again. What should i do?
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depressed, long distance Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (8 February 2009): just make sure that you are there for him, i am going through this exact same situation with my girl, i suffer from depression and anxiety, without her i probably would not make it.
A
male
reader, MyDestiny  +, writes (6 February 2009):
 just try and convince him that he's all you need
a nd that he should stop downing himself like that...there's nothing wrong with him...tell him that he's all you could ever want
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A
female
reader, Olivia(Y). +, writes (6 February 2009):
Olivia(Y). is verified as being by the original poster of the question I speak to him on average 4 hours a day but we text alot.d
and we have been intamate but i know for a fact hes not worried about sex. He does often say that he thinks i deserve better what should i say to him because i have stated that i love him
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A
male
reader, MyDestiny +, writes (6 February 2009):
try asking him what makes him soo mad...and comfort him..you may not know it but not only grls have worries..guuys have a bunch of things that run our minds too
have you been intamate with him yet...
he may be worried about his size, and things that he's not gudd enough for you....you dont know how many gusy that are depressed over that
so tlk to him, make him feel that you're always gonna be there for him
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (5 February 2009): how long do you speak on the phone for?
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A
male
reader, LazyGuy  +, writes (5 February 2009):
 A depression is hard to deal with because the one thing you need to do, take charge is precisly what a depression stops you from doing.
Going to the doctor for it is the best thing, not just because it means you are going to get help but because it means you are taking action again.
The worsed thing you can do is love him and support him and be there for him. It gives him excuses not to dig himself out. As long as he doesn't hit bottom, he won't have a reason to get better.
That is the way depression works. What can work is if you take charge for him, but not in a loving caring way but by literaly dragging him to the doctors, forcing him to honor appointments and follow therapy.
That is something a parent, or an adult friend can do, a teenage gf. No.
What you could so yourself is seek advice from proffesionals about your situation. Nowadays medicine also pays attention to the family of a patient as they are affected as well.
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