A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:I've been dating my boyfriend for 6 months now. Things are great and we're in love. Only I feel so guilty about a little white lie I told him at the start of our relationship!He's 21 and when I met him I was 17, literally turning 18 in a month's time! So I lied to him and told him that I was already 18. 2 months into our relationship he asked me when my birthday was because he realised that he didn't know it. I froze and instead of coming clean there and then, I told him that my birthday was a month before my actual birthday just to keep up the lie.I know it's a minor thing to lie about but I don't know how to tell him! I'm 18 now so it shouldn't be a problem but it's the fact that I lied in the first place ...Also, we're going on holiday next week to meet his parents. I don't want him to be angry with me during this.Thanks in advance!
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female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (17 June 2016):
 Good for you OP! And good job.
A
male
reader, Fatherly Advice +, writes (17 June 2016):
 Good Job, and thanks for the update
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 June 2016): UPDATE - I told him the truth this morning. He took it quite well to be honest. He understood that I only lied because I really wanted to be in a relationship with him. FYI to those who say there's a legal issue - we didn't engage in any sexual behaviour in the short month that I was 17 (:
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A
female
reader, Andie's Thoughts +, writes (16 June 2016):
 I agree with the others; it isn't minor at all because there's a big legal and moral difference between 17 and 18. To be honest, whilst I'm not saying he should break up with you over it, I hope that he's frustrated and disappointed with you for a while because it is a big deal and I hope he's the type to understand that. It shows immaturity and dishonesty that you decided to lie about it to start with and that you haven't come clean in 6 months.
Do it asap! Don't make excuses, just admit it and apologise.
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (16 June 2016):
 ... Its not a minor thing to lie about, actually. It's up there with the biggest lies you can tell. Although, you were lying about a month, which might soften the blow. But tell him ASAP!!!! The longer you wait, the more the lie grows and the larger it becomes, until the point where it will be unforgivable... If you haven't already gone beyond that point. You should have told him on your actual birthday.
Tell him ASAP. He is going to find this out sooner or later, and when disclosing a lie, it is always best to do it sooner, rather than later!
PS. A small white lie is saying he looks good in pants you don't really like on him. Lying about your age, and the day you were born, is equal to lying about your name and gender.
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A
male
reader, Fatherly Advice +, writes (16 June 2016):
I see you have woven a tangled web. "Oh! what a tangled web we weave, When first we practise to deceive!" - Sir Walter Scott
In practice the longer you hold on to the lie the more lies you will have to tell to back it up. The longer the deception the greater the pain to the one deceived. Your best bet is to clear the air as soon as possible.
In the UK 16 is the important legal age, so he should not be so upset about 18. Here in the US (some states) there are important legal issues dating across the 18 line.
Get it over with so you don't have to be fake to his parents as well.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (16 June 2016):
 It is not a minor lie at all, in fact it is a pretty major lie and something that many would not forgive. You thinking it is minor because you are 18 now anyway shows that you are immature and should not be in a relationship.
Lying to someone that you are an adult when you are not could get them in to a lot of trouble, if he was having a sexual relationship with you he could have got arrested. Your whole relationship is based on a lie. Yes it might only be a month, but the thing is the lie itself is a big deal, because if you can lie about your age he will wonder what else you are lying about.
The best thing you can do now before you both get more serious is tell him the truth before you go on holiday and hopefully he can forgive you.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 June 2016): You have to tell him and it's best he finds out from you than from someone else or because he's seen your passport. I don't really know why you lied in the first place? As long as you are above the age of consent (16 in the UK) then age is just a number.
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