| Latest articles: How to avoid being used financially
This question has 13 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
30 October 2010: I have tried to keep my relationship problems away from this site as I do not want my advice to be assosiated to my own questions. However I have now learned an important lesson that I want to share with the rest of you, in the hopes that you will ...
What I've learned from my family.
This question has 4 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
14 June 2010: In order for aunts and question askers to see who they are getting advice from, I will continue to write some more about me, and where I come from. The things that I draw on when giving advice, what type of experience I have in life. This arti...
How one person changed my life
This question has 12 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
8 June 2010: I've been an aunt on this site now for quite a while, at first I started as an anonymous, until I finally took the step to make an account and dare to be identified somewhat. As I've gotten to know a few people on here, albeit still strangers ...
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Best friend or girlfriend?
Q. So I've known my best friend since sixth grade,she moved to our hometown during the summer before sixth grade and every since then we've been inseparable. We've been there for each other during everything birth of her first born the birth of ...
A. 1 November 2016: Try to ask yourself, when you get these negative thoughts: is this reasonable, or is this irrational? Decide on what you think is most correct. Write it down if you need to. Write down all potential logic and reasoning your brain has come up with to ... (read in full...)
Best friend or girlfriend?
Q. So I've known my best friend since sixth grade,she moved to our hometown during the summer before sixth grade and every since then we've been inseparable. We've been there for each other during everything birth of her first born the birth of ...
A. 1 November 2016: Try to ask yourself, when you get these negative thoughts: is this reasonable, or is this irrational? Decide on what you think is most correct. Write it down if you need to. Write down all potential logic and reasoning your brain has come up with to ... (read in full...)
Why do I get this burning sensation during sex?
Q. I'm a 22 years old female and partially sexually active since i am in a LDR and i get to see my boyfriend 4 times a year, when he isn't around i still masturbate and all but whenever i use a sex toy or having an intercourse with him, i get this ...
A. 31 August 2016: *heal, autocorrect...
PS, buy lubricant. It really works.... (read in full...)
Why do I get this burning sensation during sex?
Q. I'm a 22 years old female and partially sexually active since i am in a LDR and i get to see my boyfriend 4 times a year, when he isn't around i still masturbate and all but whenever i use a sex toy or having an intercourse with him, i get this ...
A. 31 August 2016: *heal, autocorrect...
PS, buy lubricant. It really works.... (read in full...)
Why do I get this burning sensation during sex?
Q. I'm a 22 years old female and partially sexually active since i am in a LDR and i get to see my boyfriend 4 times a year, when he isn't around i still masturbate and all but whenever i use a sex toy or having an intercourse with him, i get this ...
A. 31 August 2016: Normal. If you go for long without sex, you kind of shrink in size. I had this happen too when in a ldr. You just need more foreplay and not full intercourse the first times if its been a while since you last had sex. Then you will stretch out again ... (read in full...)
My friend is taking up too much of my time. How do I tell her in a friendly way?
Q. Hey , my propblem is about my friend . i work from home and have a child so tend to be busy but have more free time than someone going out to their work place , my friend doesnt work due to disabilities so has a lot of free time . She constantly ...
A. 31 August 2016: How about you dont tell her anything? Just be honest about the facts of the situation: that you can not always reply to her or message her because you are busy working.
Let her message you all she wants, and just set your phone on mute. Or, i am... (read in full...)
I want to have sex without a condom but I'm not taking birth control pills. Will emergency contraceptive pills after sex work just as well to prevent pregnancy?
Q. This is a contraceptive related question. I wanna have sex without a condom, i'm also ovulating and i'm currently not on the pills. If i use plan B pills after sex can it be equally effective ? Or will there be a chance of unwanted pregnancy....
A. 29 August 2016: No, not equally effective. Also, plan B is not a contraceptive, actually. It just prevents an already impregnated egg from aattaching to your ovaries. So actually, you must have already gotten "pregnant" when plan B interferes.
Sure it can work... (read in full...)
We met online. Am I being irrational about his actions? Should I be hurt ?
Q. I met a man a few weeks ago on a dating site app. He definitely came on strong and we texted quite a lot til I agreed to meet. I am very attracted to hm and likewise. He has some issues, recent divorce, job changes, relocation but seems very hea...
A. 29 August 2016: You are quick to judge. Nothing is off, you are just trying to move too fast. Its been three dates. You are not an official couple. Its not mandatory to either cancel plans for you or invite you to parties. Right now, you and him are just getting to ... (read in full...)
Am I wrong for being mad at my friends, and not wanting to talk to them?
Q. Quick advice aunts Do I have the right to be upset with my best friend? It was my birthday and we agreed to go to dinner and after drinks or a lounge. All my friends have boyfriends ( who they been with for 1-2 years) and I'm the only single ...
A. 29 August 2016: No, you choose who you want to talk to. If you are upset, just wait until you have cooled down to talk to them. I totally get you. Sad truth is that a lot of women start to neglect their friends as soon as they have a boyfriend. I had that happen to ... (read in full...)
Is it worth the risk of rejection to ask him out?
Q. There is a cute guy at work. His shift starts as mine ends, but we usually end up talking for 5-15 minutes anyway. He could just be friendly, but Im interested in more. Should I ask him out? Reason I hesitate is that he is younger than me by 10 ye...
A. 26 August 2016: I chickened out! Crap. And now he has some days off + our shifts wont match up, so I wont see him for two weeks... Gonna try to find him on Facebook. ... (read in full...)
Is it worth the risk of rejection to ask him out?
Q. There is a cute guy at work. His shift starts as mine ends, but we usually end up talking for 5-15 minutes anyway. He could just be friendly, but Im interested in more. Should I ask him out? Reason I hesitate is that he is younger than me by 10 ye...
A. 26 August 2016: *staying ... (read in full...)
Is it worth the risk of rejection to ask him out?
Q. There is a cute guy at work. His shift starts as mine ends, but we usually end up talking for 5-15 minutes anyway. He could just be friendly, but Im interested in more. Should I ask him out? Reason I hesitate is that he is younger than me by 10 ye...
A. 26 August 2016: No mentioning of a girlfriend, and I have asked about his sosial life. He offered his name first, and he had already asked about me from another coworker, so he already knew my name and education etc. We talk when our shifts match up, which is about ... (read in full...)
Is my ex boyfriend taking advantage?
Q. Am I being taken advantage of?. My ex boyfriend started doing some painting in my apartment. He has done two days work so far. He doesn't decorate for a living. He just said he would help. He got in touch with me on facebook, after not contacting me ...
A. 25 August 2016: Paint yourself. Its nonsense that you cant. Its not art, its a brush and paint on the wall. Of course you can do it, or you can have family and friends help you. Get your mooching ex out of your life now. No need to go out for meals and do each ... (read in full...)
I know my ex has a new Gf, so why is he bothering to text me when he's drunk?
Q. why do ex boyfriends send text when drunk? my ex continues to give me false hope with random contact, I know he has a new gf so why the drunk texts?? ...
A. 23 August 2016: To keep you in the palm of his hands and make his ego big. ... (read in full...)
My family doesn't trust my girlfriend
Q. Hi. I am in a bit of a tough situation. I love my girlfriend very much and she really is amazing. She supports me, makes me laugh and is generally brilliant. The problem I have is my parents don't like her. They have trust issues with her (I don't...
A. 23 August 2016: You are a grown up, are you not? Then what do you think you should do?
Here is my advice: stand up for yourself. Your girlfriend is your choice, so your parents not respecting her means they do not respect you. Dont accept your parents belittli... (read in full...)
Is it normal for a man to be so close to a female cousin of the family?
Q. I recently had this discussion with my BF and would like to seek everyone's opinion: We were recently at a family gathering where I met a lot of my BF's family members from out of State for the first time. He introduced this 15 year old girl to...
A. 23 August 2016: To me, you sound like a prude. And to you, holding hands is immoral and... I dunno, sexual? What exactly do you think holding hands mean anyway... Point is though: there is no right or wrong here. People have different ideas of what is okay ... (read in full...)
I'm only turned on by blowjobs!
Q. Hi there. I'm a heterosexual man, but I've been stuck with this since I started to feel sexual needs. What I have is pretty weird: I'm attracted to girls, but the only sexual activity I'm interested in are blowjobs. I don't like women vaginas, I...
A. 23 August 2016: Yes, sexuality is not fixed, it is ever changing. How much varies from person to person, we often stay within the same "box" as before, but trying out different shades, for the lack of a better analogy. Like... You will probably still prefer women ... (read in full...)
In a relationship, how much porn is too much porn?
Q. I love my boyfriend of 6 years, but after living together for 1 year our sex life has grown dull. For some reason we haven't openly talked about masturbation/porn in at least 2 years, but I guess I always knew my boyfriend watched it even now we ...
A. 20 August 2016: Sure, ask him to cut it down if you think it will make him more sexually interested in you.
But if you want the truth? It wont help. His sex drive isn't that high, and he only wants you once a week regardless of how much porn he watches. Because ... (read in full...)
My Bf's cousin died recently, in a car accident. Now he's acting all weird. What did I do wrong?
Q. I have been dating my bf for the past 3 1/2 months and I love him so much and he loves me. but recently he lost his cousin in a car accident. He was acting fine all day yesterday and then my friend called me. He is gay and he lives across the coun...
A. 20 August 2016: ...So you let your friend threaten your boyfriend over the phone? No wonder he's not talking to you. That speech isn't cute, it's a threat you can take to the police and get a restraining order with. ... (read in full...)
I'm only turned on by blowjobs!
Q. Hi there. I'm a heterosexual man, but I've been stuck with this since I started to feel sexual needs. What I have is pretty weird: I'm attracted to girls, but the only sexual activity I'm interested in are blowjobs. I don't like women vaginas, I...
A. 20 August 2016: I don't think this is normal. Or, maybe common is the word Im looking for, because what is "normal" is such a wide topic. It's normal in the sense that I don't think you suffer any conditions, it's normal to you. But it isn't common. I've never ... (read in full...)
I'm a gay virgin who desperately wants to try anal sex
Q. Hi yalls , im a gay virgin and i really wanna have sex and there's this cute cool experienced guy that's a bit older than me but he's cool and nice and well i'm thinking like maybe i should just have sex with him because i think i'd like it lol. B...
A. 20 August 2016: You can try to get touchy feely with the guy first at the very least, have a make-out session and then just play it by ear. Maybe it feels good and right, or maybe it feels weird and you decide to stop mid-action. You're allowed to do that, you ... (read in full...)
Best friend or girlfriend?
Q. So I've known my best friend since sixth grade,she moved to our hometown during the summer before sixth grade and every since then we've been inseparable. We've been there for each other during everything birth of her first born the birth of ...
A. 31 July 2016: .... Ruin the friendship? Girl, I hate to break it to you, but the moment you began to feel anything other than a platonic friendship for her, and she for you, the friendship was gone. There is no friendship here to "save". You have the choice right ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend won't let me touch her. What do I do?
Q. Hi there. I'm looking for some guidance. I've been seeing a girl for a couple of months now and she barely touches me. I think I should maybe point out I am a very affectionate guy. I know I have a very high sex drive. My previous relation...
A. 31 July 2016: PS. I'm one of those 2-3 times a day people. I know exactly how hard it can be to find someone with an equal sex drive, but I have found them in the past, and I am sure I will find them again. So I am sure you will too. If not 2-3 times a day, then ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend won't let me touch her. What do I do?
Q. Hi there. I'm looking for some guidance. I've been seeing a girl for a couple of months now and she barely touches me. I think I should maybe point out I am a very affectionate guy. I know I have a very high sex drive. My previous relation...
A. 31 July 2016: You need to end this relationship. This is not at all about her not wanting you, or wanting other guys, or not being affectionate etc etc etc. This is about her NOT WANTING SEX. Period. She's one of those people with a LOW SEX DRIVE. Those kinds of ... (read in full...)
Our relationship is falling apart ever since I lost the baby
Q. Hello all, I am looking for some non judgemental relationship advice. I am 16 my boyfriends 17. We've been together 9 months. 3 months ago I found out I was pregnant. It was a total accident I was actually on birth control at the time (before anyone ...
A. 31 July 2016: This is unfortunately a very common reaction when losing a child. Regardless of age. Full grown adults, even elderly people, do the same. They are so sad and filled with pain, they alienate each other. This is why, when people lose a child, many get ... (read in full...)
How do I approach my husband about his flirting and asking women for photos?
Q. My husband has a history of massive flirting with the opposite sex. This was taken to another level once upon a time where I secretly checked his phone and he asked this particular girl for some sexy photos of her a**e. (Bearing in mind she'd al...
A. 31 July 2016: He is the one manipulating you. He knows he's doing something wrong, but instead of taking responsibility and STOP cheating (yes, this is cheating) he shifts blame on you. Telling you you are controlling, or that you deny him friends etc. It's all ... (read in full...)
Best ways for getting over someone?
Q. Best ways for getting over someone ? Been speaking to a girl for quite a while but a relationship isn't feasible for us. We both get on great but the past few times I've asked to hang out she's blown me off and has always been busy, the last t...
A. 31 July 2016: A relationship isn't feasible "right now" and then it lasts for a year and a half... Sounds like she is bullshitting you. Nearly two years is not "right now". If that's what she told you, then the translation is: I don't want to be in a relationship ... (read in full...)
Best ways for getting over someone?
Q. Best ways for getting over someone ? Been speaking to a girl for quite a while but a relationship isn't feasible for us. We both get on great but the past few times I've asked to hang out she's blown me off and has always been busy, the last t...
A. 31 July 2016: Have you asked her if she wants to be your girlfriend? If you've hung out before and had sex and everything, yet you still only call her a FRIEND. Then maybe the reason she is saying to to hanging out with you is because she doesn't think you're ... (read in full...)
I just want to be happy for my sister, not jealous!
Q. So this could end up making me seem like a mean person so if that happens I apologize in advance. So I got a text today from my older sister announcing that she is pregnant. We've had a rocky relationship for the past 8 years,she's made some pre...
A. 31 July 2016: Honestly, if I were you, I'd just be jealous and not happy for her. Why should you be happy? You lost your own child not that long ago, you're still grieving, and your sister has always been one to get attention as you wrote. Im sure she will go on ... (read in full...)
Why do so many men believe they have a right to sex without a condom?
Q. I'm sorry if this comes across as a rant but I'm really annoyed at the moment and looking to hear opinions around whether I've been unlucky or if what I'm experiencing is the norm. Why do the men I meet seem to think it's their right to get to ...
A. 31 July 2016: I want to add, I once had a boyfriend who asked me if he should pay for my birth control pills. I almost dropped off the face of earth. No man has EVER asked me that before or after. But come to think of it, why shouldn't the man also pay for these ... (read in full...)
Will moving to another state bring me to a happier place than all the drama I've endure here?
Q. Hey I need some advice Lately I've been going through alot of bad things. I know it's life and everyone goes through things some point. But I feel like it's only me at the moment. I'm extremely frustrated!!!! I've never been this frustrated bef...
A. 31 July 2016: Look, you're going through a right phase. And trust me, everyone on this planet goes through hardships and have their deep and dark pain that they need to carry with them for their entire life. Right now, the loss of your father who you were close ... (read in full...)
Why do so many men believe they have a right to sex without a condom?
Q. I'm sorry if this comes across as a rant but I'm really annoyed at the moment and looking to hear opinions around whether I've been unlucky or if what I'm experiencing is the norm. Why do the men I meet seem to think it's their right to get to ...
A. 30 July 2016: Hahaha! I feel your pain!
Some men are just incredibly stupid and childish. Lets just say, you need to weed out a lot before you get to the few worth keeping. I've never been asked "what's the point of a relationship if you need to use condoms"... (read in full...)
Social media signs are worrying me
Q. I'm friends with a female at work and was on Facebook, but she deleted me from her list of friends due to a misunderstanding, which has since been sorted out. She said she would put me back on her list of friends on Facebook but nothing has ...
A. 30 July 2016: Yes, you are excluded from being her friend. ... (read in full...)
Why do I always have pain when we have doggy style sex?
Q. hello everyone, please i have a question, I don't know if something is wrong with me each time my husband and i try to do the doggie style I always feel pain in my stomach so we will end up stoping it, and this is the style my husband love most ...
A. 26 July 2016: You can't do doggy style. His penis has the wrong curve for this with you. Some positions work, some don't, it's not like all people can do the exact same position in bed and expect the same feeling. For some, doggy style will not work because it ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend doesn't like traditional sex. Is that a red flag?
Q. Maybe this is a problem a lot of guys would wish to have, but my girlfriend of one year doesn't like traditional sex. She loves to give me oral and when we do have sex she always steers it towards anal sex. I say this jokingly, but feel like I a...
A. 24 July 2016: You are overthinking this. Holding back? She's being intimate with you and having sex with you, I don't see her holding back. She just has a preference. ... (read in full...)
Why are all the girls wearing shorts that show their butt?
Q. Why are teenage girls and young adults wearing cutoff shorts so short that there cheeks hang out the back ?? I have seen this for most of the summer and is this the new fashion, to show off as much of your bottom as possible ?? I myself wear cut...
A. 23 July 2016: Why? I think because they like the style. Not my cup of tea, but then again we all have different ideas of what is nice to wear. I sometimes think they dont know their bum cheeks are showing. ... (read in full...)
I only attract men who focus on my physical appearance. How do I change this?
Q. I've never dated, and it makes me insecure that I might not be good enough for dating. I'm a very attractive girl, and everyone loves my looks, I had 3 guys purposed for me this year, and it's just because of my looks. Don't get me wrong but, I hate ...
A. 23 July 2016: What to do? You need to gain more experience in handling guys and understanding how to work them. It's try and fail, no easy fix. You have to risk rejection time and again, and you have to just try and try, and then you will slowly get the grasp on ... (read in full...)
Men's opinons needed on this man's behavior
Q. If a Shy guy who has a crush on me asks me why don't I come to buy my meals when he is working at the cashier desk of a coffee shop of our company. He then nervously changed the topic even before i could say something. Even when he was asking me the ...
A. 23 July 2016: I can tell you this even when Im not a guy, because it's obvious. You said yourself, HE HAS A CRUSH ON YOU. So of course he wants you to buy things when he is at the register, that way he will get to talk to you more often. Why is he upset? Because ... (read in full...)
Dating 101 help please. When women dump a guy do they ever consider how much it hurts?
Q. Do women ever think about the guy they dump, who treated them like they were an angel, am talking about lets say six months down the road, after being with other guys, like I seen an ex this weekend, but I didn't talk to her, she didn't deserved ...
A. 18 July 2016: Are you still not over this? I feel like you've asked this question over and over, and you miss out on the crucial point: you say you treated her like an angel, but that's all just your opinion. There's no such thing as treating someone like an ... (read in full...)
Choosing Boyfriend or potential job?
Q. Hi there, I hope you are all well. I am kindly seeking advice for what is for me a big issue and which I keep thinking over. Basically me and my boyfriend have been together for almost four years this December. We met in the beginning of our ...
A. 17 July 2016: Take the job!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You don't even know yet if you'll actually get it, so what on earth is there to think about? Try to get it! Then, if you have an ACTUAL offer on the t... (read in full...)
Are the scratches on my boyfriend's chest consistent with cheating?
Q. Hello everyone. I am having a hard time with a situation I am in. I have nobody to turn to so I am hoping I can get some good advice here. My boyfriend and I have been together for several years. He and I were together a couple of days a...
A. 17 July 2016: If they were scratches from sex, I would think there would be at least three scratches on each side. Also, the direction of the scratches would be telling. From the sound of it, his scratches would more likely be caused by him scratching himself ... (read in full...)
I found out he's still married, but separated, he lied about his son and he's a borderline hoarder!
Q. Dear Cupid, I have been dating a guy for 2 1/2 years. He is older than me (I am 35 and he is 53), and when we started seeing each other he said he had been single for awhile. He has a house that is in disrepair, and approaching hoarder status. ...
A. 16 July 2016: He lied some pretty big lies. I am afraid, there is no twisting this into something that will work. You're just taking long to realize it, because you had so many hopes and dreams for him and you. And it takes time to realize those dreams will never ... (read in full...)
I feel like I'm in a relationship, just without the title, I'd like to talk about being together but don't want to freak her out!
Q. I'm interested in some perspectives on this situation. I'm a gay woman and I've been sleeping with another woman for 8 months now. We've known each other for years but were always seeing other people, so we remained friends during that time. Howe...
A. 16 July 2016: Don't fix what isn't broken. If you love your current arrangement, then don't say anything about it. Just enjoy it. Play it by ear if you want to. Or, you can "test" her boundaries by asking her to attend typical relationship happenings. Like, going ... (read in full...)
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![kitty-cat=] agony aunt](/avatars/4e276644-588c-43d2-bf37-fe35b92660b5.png){kind=small}
