A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have a question I wanted to ask and ive been debating it. If there isa co worker a male likes and he's into her. Let's say the special day was valentines day. Is it wrong or right to send flowers to a co worker you like?not that I'm intending to send flowers to anyone special, but I'm just curious about this.Would be interested to know, what you think.Hope you can answer my question.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (17 June 2016): When ive sent a valentines day card to someone ive liked, ive never put my name on the card.One to keep it annoymous and second not to cause embarassment to that individual. I always do it annoymously so the person or other person I've sent to, doesn't find out.
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (17 June 2016):
 Are you sending this card anonymously or as a way to let her know you are interested in her?
I don't like the idea of anonymously sent cards, in this day and age it's creepy in 1916 it would have been fine but then she probably would not have been at work and you would have known what was acceptable as life was less complicated and social rules were more clear cut.
IF this is a young lady you wish to inform of your interest in being romantic with her, then I too like the idea of actually asking her out... either drink or coffee after work (if someone asked me to go for a drink I would decline as I don't drink or do bars but coffee would work for me even after work).
there is also always lunch as a way to test the water...
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (17 June 2016):
 My main thing with this is romancing in the work place - it doesn't often turn out so great, it ends up being VERY awkward or it ends in someone feeling sexually harassed or pressured. Not great for a work environment.
BUT.... If you know 100% she is single and she seems interested....
Why not ask her out for lunch? or a cup of tea/coffee? If she reacts positive, go from there?
The whole starting to "court" her with flowers and cards when you REALLY don't know where you stand can be VERY awkward, for her... and/or for you.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (16 June 2016): I'm not interested in doing that. I was only asking a question about it and to establish views on the subject.
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A
female
reader, Andie's Thoughts +, writes (16 June 2016):
 There's no point trying to hide that you're the one interested in doing this....
Anyway, I think that the gesture is nice, but too much for someone you're not already dating. Asking her out for drinks is a better idea - it'll give you a clear indication of whether or not she's interested in you and you go from there (no flowers). Flowers are a romantic gesture that aren't wise to do for someone you don't have a close familial or romantic relationship with.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (16 June 2016): I'd thought I'd ask anyway, from the points made, it seems to sound a good idea and doesn't sound to be.
What about sending a card instead of flowers?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 June 2016): I think its a bad idea especially if you send them to her while at work. I think it would be a much better idea to ask her for a drink after work. I know people do fall in love with people they work with but as far as possible id suggest to keep work life and love life separate.
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (16 June 2016):
 No. Dont send flowers. Work romance is never something to take easy. If you fall in love, you always need to keep it separate from work. And if its just flirting, it needs to be low key.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (16 June 2016):
My questions would be:
1. Is she single?
2. Is she interested in you?
If the answer is no to either, then no don't send flowers.
IF the answer is YES to both, then why not?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 June 2016): Flowers indicate loud and clear there is romantic interest. You need to be careful. If a woman likes you, then it would not seem wrong. But if she does not like you, she would probably be creeped out by it. And maybe even ignore you from that point onward. Could you deal with that? Add to the mix she is a co-worker and things could get awkward between you at work. Also, sending flowers is a grand gesture. Not something one does everyday. So it may be too overt a gesture for her liking or comfort level. Could be construed as stalker-ish. Do you know her well? Is there a relationship between you? Other than co-workers? Has she expressed romantic interest in you? If I were you, I would err on the side of caution. I would NOT send the flowers. I would send them only and if you began dating or you knew for sure there was a romantic connection.
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A
male
reader, Myau  +, writes (16 June 2016):
 OK I firstly have to cancel the flowers I was sending to So_very_confused. Bullet dodged there.
And you can send her something on valentines day marked as a secret admirer and then just see how she reacts. If shes horrified, then pretend you know nothing about it.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (16 June 2016):
if a man not my romantic partner sent ME flowers I would be uncomfortable.
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