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age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: Something is bothering me a bit. I am currently very sick, and yesterday I was much worse. I was at my boyfriend's house when suddenly my symptoms got really bad. I begged him to drive to the winn dixie right next to his house to get me some robitussin or lemon tea or something (he doesn't have medicine), I even gave him a 20 dollar bill to cover it. He just groans and says I don't need it and that I should just "fight " it. I was in a lot of pain, my sinuses were all clogged. I asked for some water, he groaned about that too, because he was comfortable lying down on his bed. Now what do you make of this? The Winn Dixie is honestly a 2 minute drive from his house, I didn't think it was too much to ask for. So I just remained quiet, suffering a bit.. when he's sick, I come over with cough drops and tea and take care of him. Now I feel like he doesn't care :-( am I overreacting? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, lunerlight  +, writes (23 June 2016):
I do feel for you too my man thinks I'm faking all my sicknesses. When I'm sick I still have to get up and do things he's to busy with TV I wait on him hand over foot but do I get rest a night no I have to get up and let dogs out. Sick or not I still got to cook
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male
reader, Chux +, writes (25 February 2016):
My girlfriend thinks I don't care for her but I do she's been sick for the past two days and I been trying to be nice by doing mostly everything for her I have to walk her to the bathroom give her medicine wash dishes pick up her groceries try to cook even though I'm not that good at it I have to get the bathtub filled for her I try my best to keep her happy but for some reason she never is I can't go out and play my video games at my brothers house because she's texting me constantly telling me if I don't go back home to take care of her our relationship is over every time I don't do something right our relationship is in jeopardy I'm not perfect but sometimes I just wish she would treat me more like a boyfriend rather than a scrub maybe the flu she has is serious and maybe I'm being mean sometimes by not taking it too serious because I had it before and I think o well it'll go away but I don't expect for her to feel sorry for me I still get up and try to fight it and b strong I guess is just different when a girl gets it is all about attention that's how I feel right now and we are braking up because of this she screams so loud my neighbors think I'm trying to kill her but it's just me not trying hard enough to please her needs I really hate it when they scream makes me crazy wanting to walk away from the house until things calm down a bit she was looking at this posts when I got back home just hope she keeps on reading until she finds mine im always loyal to her no matter what and I think that's what really matters I love you Rachel.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 December 2011): I agree with everyone else. I have bronchitis and my bf used to groan until I told him you know it's funny when your sick I helped you anyway I could but when I'm sick you have better things to do. If I am that much in the way then leave. He stayed and even made me hot chocolate. You have to treat them like children or they won't learn
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female
reader, Basschick  +, writes (20 November 2011):
 Some people are natural born "Fluffers" others are not. You sound like you were raised knowing how to fluff the pillow of other people; i.e. taking care of them when they need it. This sort of thing does not come naturally to most men, though a few do possess the ability to nurture and pamper us when we need it. It is especially annoying when a "fluffer" ends up with a "non-fluffer" because you never get to depend on anyone who seems interested in your health and well being, except maybe you. But he's young, maybe if you tell him how important it is, he'll be trainable. Mine is not. He's way too old to be changed so I hope you have better luck than I do because when you have a nurturing nature, you tend to feel very unloved at the hands of someone who is not. xoxo
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female
reader, person12345 +, writes (19 November 2011):
 Depends on why. If he's not going it because he's germ phobic that's one thing. But not even so much as getting you a glass of water? That's just being a lazy asshole. I wouldn't jump to dumping him, but you should probably talk to him about it once he's better and find out what the heck is up.Part of the reason to bother having a partner is so they can help you in the bad times. To have someone to rely on. The fun times are great, but those can happen with almost anyone. Someone you can rely on to help you out when you need them, that's rare and it seems like you don't have that here.For comparison, when I had too much to drink in college and spent the entire night and day vomiting, my boyfriend hopped on his bike and went to three different stores to buy different remedies for me, then went back to my dorm to get my laptop and some DVDs, then went and collected my best friend to come keep me company, because I asked for some crackers.Ask yourself what happens when you get stranded and need a ride or something more serious happens, illness or death in the family for instance, and you really need to count on him. Do you think he'll be there then? Do you want to find out how he copes with it then?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 November 2011): Leave him! Right now. The whole point of having a partner in your life is to have somebody to help you when you need help. This guy is no good. This situation was like a test of his character and he failed miserably. You can't count on him, which makes him a worthless person.
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male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (19 November 2011):
 THIS is your "Boyfriend"????? ... and he treats you like THAT??????? I'd hate to learn how people who DON'T like you treat you!!!!...Get a better B/F..... Good luck...
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female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (19 November 2011):
 He's a selfish, self centered, ego-trip of a man. No, you are not overreacting. The last boyfriend I had who didn't take care of me when I was sick, couldn't even be bothered to wish me a healthy recovery, got dumped. And I am so happy to be rid of him.
Dump him. I don't care how great a man is for the rest of the time, if he is incapable of showing the smallest sign of CARE for you, then what would you be doing with him anyway?
I think this does come down to if he cares for you or if you are just some fun past time for him. Someone who cares for another will take good care of them, want them to feel good, and will sacrifice not just a little of their personal comforts for the one they care for.
If you are determined to stay with this man, imagine how life will be next time you are really sick, or if you have children with him, and get sick. Or if your children gets sick. At what point will he bother to get his ass off the couch and be NICE and CARING?
To me this is a deal breaker.
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male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (19 November 2011):
 "In sickness and in health' or so goes the marraige vows..if he's a creep now he'll always be a creep-warning,warning-he's a creep!
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 November 2011): What it means, you know what it means. He doesn't want to go out of his way for you. That's your choice, my mother married one of these. Get used to doing everything for him and for you. Hopefully the sex is good enough to cover your losses. I watched a lazy father for years while my mother suffered and took care of 7 kids. All the while looking out at how other wives were treated with care.
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (19 November 2011):
 I get this totally... and NO I don't think you are over-reacting... ONE of the ways I KNOW my man loves me is the tender loving care I get from him when I am sick...
Of course, sometimes he has no clue just how sick I am... I was sick on our vacation and complaining of belly pain and he told me I was OVERREACTING and it was IN MY HEAD... I ended up in the hospital with emergency surgery to repair a perforated ulcer that almost killed me... the first time I saw him after the surgery I said "so how's that psychosomatic ulcer working out for you??" HE got my point and now when I say I do not feel well HE LISTENS to me....
My suggestion is that you have to sit down when him when you are not sick and he is not stressed and you are not distracted with anything and TALK TO HIM and tell him you NEED and WANT him to take care of you when you are sick and if he feels he can't put himself out for someone he supposedly loves, perhaps he's not ready to have a relationship...
part of loving someone is compromise and effort...
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female
reader, fi_the_tree  +, writes (19 November 2011):
 I'm exactly the same, i would expect my bf to take care of me when i'm sick if i take care of him when he's sick! I don't think you're over-reacting at all, it's just common sense!!
Talk to him about it, tell him that you do your best to look after him when he's ill, so why does he have to moan and groan when you're not well?? There's nothing worse than feeling ill, all you want is some medicine and a cuddle, is that too much to ask??? No, i don't think so...
Good luck! :)
ps, hope you feel better soon!
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (19 November 2011):
 It doesn't mean that he doesn't care. He might show it in other ways. But at the end of the day if it is really bothering you well then you need to talk to him about it and tell him how it made you feel. He needs to know that his actions made you feel like he just doesn't care. So have it out with him.
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