A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:So my recent troubles is not really a trouble, I'm just looking for advice. i have started to think about what-ifs about this girl I'm starting to get to know. She's funny, athletic, outgoing, and very upfront. I recently was the only friend of her's to go to her sporting event, even though she asked almost all her friends. I would be interested in perusing her as a further than friends relationship but i wouldn't necessarily say i want to go steady with her. The only few problems i would see is if i fail, she will, and i mean Will, go and tell my friends what i tried to do. It's not so much a thing about failure, it's more of i don't think i have a chance. So my big questions would be 1.How do I go about trying to convey I'm interested without any repercussions. 2.How can I grow the nerve to ask her once i see that she is intrested. And 3.What are some sure sign ways as to know she's intrested. Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Ciar +, writes (22 November 2011):
 I strongly recommend you not pursue this woman, whether she is interested in you or not. I can't imagine that she's that attractive, that witty or that fun to be around that she'd be worth the risk of having your private anguish (if you fail) broadcast for the entertainment of others. Even if you do successfully court her, do you think your relationship will be kept private?
You may not have known her long, but you already know something very important about her. She is not discreet and she doesn't care whom she humiliates, alienates, or whose reputation she ruins for the sake of having a juicy story to tell. This is a deal breaker.
If you had a sister, cousin or a woman friend you cared about ask for your advice on how to pursue a man you knew to be a kiss and tell sort, what would you advise her to do?
A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (21 November 2011):
 Just ask her for a cup of coffee. If it fails then you can say it was just meeting as friends. If it goes well you can count it as a date and ask her out on a second date and take it from there.
So she'll go and tell people you asked her out. Big whop. If you and her end up in a relationship people are bound to find out anyway. And if she declines, well, what do you think that means? No one, including yourself, assume you are Gods gift to women and can get any lady you want. There's no reputation that will be ruined should she decline the invitation. It's normal, it happens, some people fancy you back, others don't, and you don't lose face just because they don't like you back the same way. You just move on to someone else, thats all that happens.
...............................
A
female
reader, Risingstar624  +, writes (21 November 2011):
So you are looking for a way to take a risk without actually taking a risk? Well if we knew that the whole world would be a heck of a lot easier. Everything in life has an opportunity cost. Whether it is something as small as picking up a penny to something as big as the stock market. You just need to determine for yourself which opportunity cost you think is the smallest. Will you regret your entire life not asking her out? Or will you regret making a fool of yourself in the process? The worst thing that can happen is that she can say no. Yes I know if feels like a huge looming thing that can crush you at the time, but it is simply a statement of she isn't interested in you romantically and it wasn't meant to be. If you keep things classy and forward I don't know any reason why she would badmouth you to your mutual friends. There is no better way to see if she is interested than just asking her out. Go for it, woman respond to confidence and if you just go for it there is more of a chance of her being receptive rather than if you beat around the bush. For all you know she may secretly like you and is waiting for you to make the first move. There is no magical way to make you confident or not be nervous. You just need to take the leap and pray that someone will catch you. I don't mean that you should tell her that you love her or anything like that, but do something simple. If you aren't really super great friends you could say something like Hey I think your really interesting and would love to get to know you better over dinner or something. Or if you are good friends you could flirt with her and ask her to dinner or a movie or something. You will know she is interested if the says yes! Also there are some physical signs to check for: if her pupils dilate when she looks at you it is a sign of physical attraction, if her body seems open (not arms crossed or legs crossed) when talking to you with her feet pointing towards you it is a sign of being open. If you go out on a date she should NOT be checking her phone or looking off into space, that is a sure fire way to know she isn't interested in you and is just looking for some free food. She should be genuinely engaged in the conversation and be happy to be there with you. Your question is what i'm sure a lot of guys ask but really to sum everything up I can only say go for it, and good luck!
...............................
|
