A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Dear CupidMe and my bf are together for 2 years and i am travelling away for my studies in another 2 weeks and we have to be in LDR for 6 months. Since i am travelling i asked my bf to meet once before i leave (he stays 5 hrs away from my place), He said he'll come and meet me. When i asked him today when he is coming, since i have other work and, i want to plan accordingly. he kind of got angry and said i am pestering him and switched off his mobile. Please help me why is he acting this way, i wanted to see him at least once before i leave, is that too much to ask? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (22 November 2011):
 Does he usually react this way? This sounds like him being grumpy, which you should have noticed at other times in the relationship. This sort of response tends to be a habitual response, and a way he will often react when "feeling pestered", even though he had no right to get mad at you, and was highly unreasonable.
But there is something else going on, either he is usually like this and grumpy, and you just tried to excuse all the other times he has acted this way, or alternatively you and him aren't getting along great lately and a fight has been brewing in the air.
His loss. Make your decision on what to do with such childish behaviour.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 November 2011): That is perfectly understandable that you would want to spend time with him before you go. I am in the same position at present, except its the guy going away. His attitude is I just want to get it over with and does not want to talk about it. Which is important, because you have to plan how you're going to communicate.
I am being patient because I think he just finds it difficult and I think it's the same in your situation. Us women will be like, oh I am going to miss you so much and we will even have a bit of a cry..... men don't do that they clam up because they feel they have to be strong and not look weak about the situation. I think him pushing you away is his way of trying to keep a cool head and detach himself emotionally.
All you can do is reassure him that you're not interested in finding another guy while you're away, you are going to be concentrating on your studies and as soon as it's over you will be coming back to him.
Good luck.x
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A
female
reader, mammaboo  +, writes (21 November 2011):
 May be if you went to see him and tell him how much your going to miss him. Sometimes leaving for a long period of time can have negative effects on people. He may feel that its you who needs to show you will miss him and you will stay in touch . Have some plans for when you return!I agree with the defence mechanism kicking in for him, you can reasure him its ok. The rest is up to him really!
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A
female
reader, Ciar  +, writes (21 November 2011):
 No it isn't too much to ask, but you may be asking too often.
I understand you're working on a tight schedule, trying to get as much done before you leave as you can. However instead of trying to pin him down on the spot for a date and time, sort out whatever you need to first then let him know what time, if any, you have left for him.
This way you get what you want and he won't feel 'pestered'.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 November 2011): It's not too much to ask, it is completely understandable but I imagine he is feeling quite down about you going away. I have friends who were dating and the boyfriend could not handle the fact his girlfriend was going to live in another country, he still loves her but he spilt up with her because he was scared she would find someone else-and she certainly is not the sort of person who would go and do that!
Some people are so scared of getting hurt they put a wall up and he is probably feeling like you have the world at your feet while his life stays the same. If you get a chance to talk to him reinforce that you are not away forever and that you believe your relationship to be strong enough to last.
It is childish of him to turn his phone off but it does point towards him being afraid. I hope you are able to sort it all out but as long as you try as best as you can, you will know you couldn't have done any more. Best of luck xx
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