A
female
age
30-35,
*onfused_123
writes:This is going to seem like a bit of an overreaction probably...and it's probably a silly question.I guess I'm feeling a little insecure about being a virgin. I'm only 17 and in my last year of school, but it's starting to look like I'll be heading of to uni with very limited sexual experience. Don't get me wrong, I've done stuff, but nothing below the waist since the last long-term relationship I had was when I was fourteen and I definitely wasn't up for losing it then.I've been single for a year now and it doesn't look likely to change between now and September (that sounds like a large assumption to make, but if you lived where I did, you'd understand why I say that). Of course, you never know. But that's not the point. I don't want to lose it for the sake of it to some guy I barely know, or don't like, but I guess there's mild social pressure as my most of the people in my year have. Albeit, not in particularly nice ways (my friend was drunk at a party and doesn't even remember her first time). I guess I just want it to be special; I'm not planning on waiting for marriage or anything like that. The Television doesn't help as it frequently depicts 30-something year old virgins saying lines just like that "I guess I was just waiting for the right person and it never happened." Will this happen to me!? The obvious answer is no. I mean, spent year 7, 8 and 9 terrified that I'd never get a boyfriend or kiss a boy and both of those happened in due time.I really don't want this to be misconstrued as me saying "I think I'm getting on a bit (at the age of 17 xD) and a lot of people have had sex, so I think I'd better too, because I'm a sheep and must copy my peers." I'm simply asking whether or not it's common people going off to university as a virgin. Will boys think this is weird? (Obviously I wouldn't have to tell them, but hopefully whoever I lose it to will have got to know me well enough that they'd know anyway, if you see what I mean?)Okay, essay over. Any replies are appreciated :')
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female
reader, pinkfish1203 +, writes (16 January 2012):
No - Read this
http://univirgin.tumblr.com/
Hope it helps!! :D
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 November 2011): It's normal. In one group of about eight girls that I met in my first week, we had a talk about this and only one person had lost their virginity out of all of them. some people hadn't even kissed a boy. Other people had had a serious partner and had only had sex with them, and some people had had many parnters. It's just like anything else, there is a huge amount of variation between people's different experiences. Just wait and see how it goes, don't panic about it.
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A
female
reader, dr.2.be  +, writes (17 November 2011):
 Its not unusual to go off to college a virgin. In fact, I was a virgin when I went off to college. I lost my virginity in the end of my second year. The guy I lost it to didn't think anything of it, and he wasn't put off by it or thinking it was weird.You will find the right person. Just don't rush and make sure you really trust in that person. There are some guys in college that just like to have a girl to "have fun" with, so be careful and make sure you guys are really in a relationship before you have sex. In the meantime, just concentrate on your studies and activities. A person comes along when you least expect it. I was always studying and involved with my premed clubs and functions, so I had little time to think about how I was a virgin and I didnt dwell on it. Good Luck and stay safe. :-)
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A
female
reader, KittieS +, writes (17 November 2011):
 Very normal, I was and was until my second year, with a person at the time i loved, it was a good experience. Most people who wait say it didnt hurt, it felt right and they dint regret it. Those who "just do it" feel the opposite.most of my friends were virgins with the exception of maybe one or two who had long term partners. I think most people are to be fair, it's just often seen as "humorous" to take the mic out of people who are virgins, actually it's just silly. And therefore people lie about it, I wouldn't recommend lying just say if your asked its personal to you, if they rib you about it just say your not saying but if you were a virgin it wouldn't be anything to be ashamed about. You only get to lose your virginity once, make sure it's rights for you!It's not an issue, and it's nothing to be embarrased about and what's wrong with waiting? Absolutely nothing!
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (17 November 2011):
 my SON went to college at 18 a virgin... very common (and yes I know he told me....)
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A
male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (17 November 2011):
 Back in the day, it used to proper to remain a virgin as long as you were single but I know times have changed. No! it's not weird i's to be commended!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (17 November 2011): Statistically, 25% to 30% of women entering university have not had sexual intercourse. The percentage is much higher for some cultural groups.
So no, you are not unusual.
Some universities have a culture where older students seek to exploit naive women, particularly in getting them more drunk than they have been in their life before making sexual advances. So if you wish to lose your virginity in the way you describe then keep an eye on your alcohol consumption when you go out.
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (17 November 2011):
 Last time I checked sexual experience was NOT one of the things needed to enroll in university. Good grades however are very much needed.
You are mixing two completely different things here. Your educational level has absolutely nothing to do with your emotional and physical/relationship experiences. One is for education and stimulating your intellect, making you smarter. University is not supposed to be a place where you date and sleep around.. its a place where you get an education.
So your real question then is, is it weird to be a virgin at 17-18? No. Tons of people are virgins at that age.
There's waiting for the right person, and there's waiting for the "perfect" person. Mr. right isn't always prince charming on a white horse. Waiting for someone righty doesn't mean you need to set your standards impossibly high. Just have a few requirements that YOU feel ok with. Like for one: you want to be physically attracted to the guy and him being able to turn you on, and two: you want him to not be screwing around other girls at the same time, so have him as your official boyfriend.
Those two criteria can easily be met, without you having to wait until you are 30. People who wait until they are 30 either have too high standards (he must earn this and that much, he must propose first, he must be this and that tall etc) or they are too shy (he needs to hunt me down, women shouldn't make the first move etc.).
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A
female
reader, Miamine +, writes (17 November 2011):
 Normal.. half the young people are lying, half had bad sex and regret it and will go on to make more sexual mistakes.. (oh dear no more half's left) The rest of you are virgins. Some happy to be one, and waiting for the right time and the right person, some dying to try sex but not able or not ready to date.Now us old people, we been there.. that's why we keep saying.. WAIT UNTIL YOUR READY.. first time sex is special, most people remember all their lives. Especially for girls, bad first sex can be devastating and ruin them emotionally when they want to start a proper relationship. Lots of what the media say is nonsense, they just want you to get old enough to consume. I always feel sorry for you young people, we didn't get such pressures when I was your age and that wasn't so long ago. The emphasis was more on being a strong person and not allowing yourself to be led by the crowd. Who cares what the guys think, the right guy will feel your virginity is special and he'll like you for your strong independent mind. There are some guys who will love it, them are the types that like to collect virginities and then move on to the next victim. Then there are guys who will worry more about your virginity than you do. They will be afraid to hurt you, afraid you won't enjoy it. These are the guys who really care about you deeply.I know it's hard not to worry. That's what young people do. But take the advice from us old people, worrying about what others are doing is a waste of time. You'll be ok, you sound like a very special young woman.
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A
female
reader, celtic_tiger +, writes (17 November 2011):
 Yes it is very common indeed to be a virgin when you go to university. I would almost venture to say that many of the people you know who say "they have had sex" probably haven't.
There is SO MUCH social pressure at your age to essentially be sleeping around and pretending you are all grown up and acting like porn stars. In reality this is not always the case. People even lie to their peers at your age, to appear cool, grown up, and so they do not suffer bullying and teasing. There are also teenagers who will have sex purely because of social pressure, and they regret it for the rest of their lives.
Children can be horrible in that respect.
But it is TOTALLY NORMAL to still be a virgin at 17, 18, 19, 21...
Don't stress. It is no one elses business if you are a virgin or not. You do not have to tell anyone, and if they ask you just say you have only had a few meaningful relationships - who is to know they didnt include sex?
Sadly, the current teen culture makes out that all 18-21 year olds are at it like rabbits and somehow if you are not part of that then you are some kind of weird freak. It simply isnt true. Yes there will always be those who are very sexual and will sleep with anything that moves, but do you honestly want to be like that? Really? Those girls in your class regret their actions. They don't remember their first time. Is that something to be proud of, when you talk about it to your children in 30 years time? The simple fact is many of these girls are simply NOT ready, emotionally or physically. They think they are and because they are naive they succumb to peer pressure to do things they don't really want to do. It is bravado, an act, it gives them street cred. Ultimately they are the ones who will suffer.
You sound like you have a sensible head on your shoulders. Keep it there. Stick to your beliefs and it will all fall into place, and you will be happier for it, having waited until YOU are ready, hopefully it will be an enjoyable experience that you wont look back and regret.
Going to university you will meet so many new people, from all over the country, and among them, will be a very large number just like you. Its just not talked about. :)
There will be many nice, quiet but shy guys who will love to meet you. Everyone grows and matures at their own pace. Nothing is "wrong" or "weird". And if a man does have an issue with that, well he isn't worth your time anyway!
Good luck with your exams and enjoy life :)
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A
female
reader, k_c100 +, writes (17 November 2011):
 Ok to answer your questions:
1. Yes it is common for people to go to Uni a virgin, you just dont hear them shouting about it (as most people are like you, they are a bit embarassed and dont want to talk about it)
2. No boys wont think it is weird - to most men it will be even more attractive (but not in a positive way let me add) as guys like to be the first to take a girls virginity. So try not to tell anyone about your virginity as some guys may then see you as a conquest and simply try and get you into bed purely for this reason. Only tell a guy when you have known him long enough and you trust him.
As you said yourself - teenagers worry first about getting a boyfriend, then if they will ever kiss a boy, and next it is will I ever have sex. And you know the answer to the first 2 was yes, so you will indeed end up having sex and I'm sure it wont be years and years before it happens.
But the great thing here is you are waiting for it to be special and that is so refreshing for teenagers today! I lost my virginity to my first boyfriend and it was amazing because we were so in love - we are not together now but I dont regret it because we loved and trusted each other completely. Whereas some of my friends were drunk, pressured into it, didnt love their boyfriend etc and they now regret not waiting.
You are doing the right thing by waiting, so try not to worry so much and relax - you havent got 'virgin' printed on your head so no-one will know unless you tell them, it wont even be an issue.
I hope this helps and good luck!
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