A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I went on a date with a girl from work. I liked her and I text her the day after asking for a second date. I have recieved no reply over a week later.I can take this and i know it happens.the problem is that im likely to see her at work. we work in different buildings but on the same complex so its not guaranteed that i'll see her but very likely. as she hasnt replied i feel like a bit of a loser. a lot of a loser. How should i be if i see her? Do i not mention the text and the fact that she hasnt replied? what if she didnt get it? although i dont see why she wouldnt have done. i'll feel so awkward and the same if i see her friends.if she'd replied and said thanks but no thanks, it would have been a lot easier.im just not sure what to do as i;ve never had this problem. i spose thats what you get by asking someone from work out!
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (30 January 2012): When I got into my mid 30's as a single person, I made some rules around what I would accept from men because I got serious about my love life. I'm getting married in a couple of months and what set my soon to be husband apart from the others in the beginning was that he would ask me at the end of each date when he could take me out again. He would also call me every day.
The other guys I dated sent texts or tried to catch me online, which just wasn't good enough! I wanted a man, someone who wasn't insecure and had to hide behind a keypad and I got one..or he got me!!!
Texting is fine after you have an established relationship but really, pick up the phone and be a gentleman and do things up right or lose her to some man who will!
A
female
reader, YouWish  +, writes (30 January 2012):
 I agree with everyone on here.
Asking out by text? What?!?
You say that you *see* her regularly as she works in the same building. Ask her out face to face! Asking out by text is showing her that you consider her about the same as an impersonal booty call or a "plan B girl" if your main interest cancels on you.
Find her face to face or at least by phone. If you're that interested in a woman to go for a second date, call or talk to her in person so as to get the answer right then and there.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 January 2012): CALL her or ask her out in person...this texting is getting out of hand....
Forget the text message...try again, the right way...you might get a better response.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (30 January 2012):
 Never ask IMPORTANT questions via text. DO NOT try to have a relationship via text message. It's possible she never got the message... Texts are a very low priority on the networks and are carried as extra packets on the important data... they get dropped and you never know it...
you will have to pony up and ASK HER IF SHE GOT YOUR TEXT... My fiance often does not get texts I send him and we are on the same network... it happens.
Use this as a lesson DO NOT HAVE RELATIONSHIPS VIA TEXT.
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A
male
reader, TrancedRhythmEar  +, writes (30 January 2012):
 Face to face is better man. A text is implied woosiness and women hate that cause it shows lack of confidence. I say respectfully pal. Good luck.
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (30 January 2012):
 Learn from this that you shouldn't ever ask over a text again. First off, texts are not very romantic, so asking by text might ruin your chances of getting a second date. Second, you don't know if she even read the text. Some times they don't get sent. Some times they aren't being read because maybe other people text her as well and it got lost among other texts. Maybe she thought she answered and her text wasn't sent. Maybe she forgot to answer. Maybe she read the text in her sleep and forgot she ever got it.
The point is that if you want a firm answer, be that yes or no, you got to ask in person, or at least make a call. Don't just send a text.
If I were you I think I'd ask her next time you meet her "hey, did you get that text I sent you, because I never got a reply", and then hear what she says. I'm thinking she probably never read it/got it, because not replying is just rude, and if she was a rude person I doubt you'd have asked for a second date. She's probably wondering why you never called.
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A
female
reader, chickpea2011 +, writes (30 January 2012):
 Hi,
If you show weakness, it's far worst. So, it's time to put a brave face and a good acting :) so what? She's not the only woman in the world, and it's part of life... We all had our moments, doens't mean there's something wrong with us. When you see her, just say hi. (be calm, casual, make small talk, how are you? Blah, blah, blah.. And ask hey few days ago I sent you a text asking to get together? Did you get it? Depending on her answer, if she makes an excuse, shows positive sign, tell her let me know if you want to get together for drinks? If negative, just brush it off saying, oh... Sorry if I bother you and just walk away, see you around... When you see her friends, casual eye contact and nod your head (little acknowledgment, that's all) you don't own these people anything, and there's absolutely nothing to be embarrassed by... Just be professional and have confidence always.... Really, it's not a big deal... It's if you make a big deal.... By the way, my brother met his wife working in the same co. and they are happily married for many years now. Feel better...
Good luck/best wishes
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (30 January 2012):
 Next time call her or ask her in person.
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