A
female
age
30-35,
*allaysandsocks
writes:my boyfriend and i has been together for 10 months now but i dont think he's over his ex. we got together after 2 weeks of them breaking up, they were going out for almost 1 year and a half. after they broke up, she had a new boyfriend just 2 weeks after so his friend who is also my friend hooked us up. at first i didn't think this would go anywhere but we ended up dating and i fell in love with him. even though it seemed like a rebound relationship but he kept telling me its not and how much he loves me and he would never leave me for another girl and he even talks about getting married and have kids. we are 19. but in the 10 months period, he still talks about his ex at least once a week. he always brings up memories they had together. even tho he broke up with her, i still feels like he thinks that he made a mistakes since he always talks about her. he talks about in a negative way calling her bitch and slut and all these means stuff and he kept complaining how boring she was at sex. these are negative thoughts but the facts that he kept bringing her up bothers me. when i confront him about it, he denied his mistakes and turn it around to make it seems like its my fault for starting a fight. we made a promised not to talk to about her ever again but 3 days later on a date, he talked about her non stop because we were having a picnic at the park they took their prom pictures at.she on the other hands still keeps in touch with his family and talks to them all the time. she's even going on a date with one of his best friend. she is trying very hard to get him back and i feel like it might happen.i really don't know what to do. whenever i confront about him not being over her, he kept making me seems like im overreacting and im always the one who ended up apologizing. he barely apologizes for his mistakes.
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female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (30 January 2012):
 He's 19 and immature. Tell him it bothers you when he talks about his ex. Either he shuts up about her, or he can go hook up with her again seeing as he dedicates a lot of his (and your) time to her anyway.
He probably isn't over her. This doesn't mean he wants to be with her though. This just means that you hooked up 2 weeks after their relationship ended, and feelings take longer than 2 weeks to die. This doesn't mean he can't care for you, but it means that his ex WILL be on his mind, one way or the other.
He is still mad at her for breaking his heart, which is normal after a break-up. He wasn't ready to enter a new relationship, because you can't love another person truly until you've healed your heart. You can't give your heart to someone else when it is broken...
While he is getting over her, and you're helping him get over her, until he IS over her he'll be talking about her. If he had some common sense and wasn't immature about it, he'd keep his mouth shut and not mention it to you. He could still be thinking of her, but at least he wouldn't be hurting your feelings. However, at 19, he isn't that smart about it yet.
As for marriage talk at 19. Don't listen to it. It's just talk. After just 10 months, and at 19, talking about marriage is just talk and nothing more. Look to his actions for proof of how he feels for you, never look to his word alone. Words are just words, and when it gets down to it will he walk the walk? Especially considering he isn't over his ex, marriage talk is just empty words.
You decide what you want to do. I'd tell him to shut up about her, tell him it hurts your feelings, and if he cares for you he'll stop it. Ask him how he would feel if you started talking about another man that way. He probably doesn't realize he does this. And while I know it hurst that he isn't 100 percent yours, this doesn't mean he might not be in the future. In time he could be 100 percent yours, and be over his ex. The question is, are you willing to wait for that time and allow yourself to get hurt in the process?
A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 January 2012): You could just bring up your ex, next time he says something about her just interrupt and say "oh my god my ex did that! He was...." see how he likes it, childish approach: yes. But if you want to end things anyway, because he obviously is not over her, you might as well let him see how annoying it is and see if he can take what he is so quick to give out x
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A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (29 January 2012):
 I'm sorry, but what do you expect?? You two got together a whopping 2 weeks after they broke up!! He obviously didn't have time to get over her!!!
At 19 he's already talking about marriage and children?? I would take what he says with a grain of salt.
If you want to keep this relationship, then you need to put your foot down and simply tell him to shut up the next time he brings up his ex. Tell him you're sick and tired of hearing her name every time he opens his mouth. Ask him how would he like it if you went on and on about your last ex. It would get annoying and unnecessary, right?
Now, if this keeps on then...I would dump him. It's evident he's not over her and not entirely dedicated to this relationship with you.
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