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... Send *ev Conolly a private message | | | *ev Conolly's profile:I'm female, 44 and raised in the western US. I was married first at age 17, which I realised soon after was a rather large mistake! We divorced seven years later, then I travelled around the world, settling in Australia. I met my husband here and we've been together for 18 years, married for 14. I feel much more Australian than I ever felt American.
I wish I knew a lot more about everything than I do, but at least I have a lot of experience at making poor choices in life and correcting them later. That's why I like to provide advice when it's asked for.
As to my pictorial representation... I play the bagpipes. Badly, to be sure, but the best thing about the pipes is, almost no one can tell you don't have any skill!
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No feeling in my little fella
Q. I have no felling only in the head part. It takes me a long time to get hard and when i do i can't feel anything when we have sex. When i get a hand job she uses cold ice to get me hard but still no felling what is the matter with me? When we have ...
A. 6 February 2005: Hi there, You may have erectile dysfunction, caused by a blood circulation problem. Are you getting erections in the morning when you wake up? Or during the night? If you are, then your physical health is probably OK and it could be caus... (read in full...)
She treats me mean, but I'm still keen!
Q. There is this girl who I like and sometimes she makes jokes about liking me, like the other night when I got told by some of her mates that she likes me and got told by her herself she likes me. But it turned out to be a joke and she started being ...
A. 6 February 2005: Hi there, I'd be really careful with a girl like this one. She sounds like she's heavily influenced - in a bad way - by her friends, to the point that she'd even hurt you in order to entertain them. That doesn't sound like someone you'd... (read in full...)
Find it hard to be intimate with my man without dutch courage beforehand...
Q. I recently got back together with my highschool sweetheart, but I'm finding it increasingly difficult to be intimate with him without a bit of dutch courage... how can I find out what my issues are and solve them, as I do want to be with him....
A. 5 February 2005: First, you need to ask yourself what you do with the alcohol that you don't (or wouldn't) do without it. Are you reliant on a drink to meet other challenges in your life? (If so, that's a red flag of alcohol dependance and bears scrutiny more than ... (read in full...)
Any ideas for valentines day?
Q. Hi, I am 14 and have been going out with this guy for nearly 5 months the thing is im really shy but he is even more shy than me, we haven't even hugged yet and well i want to make valentines day special with him, so what do you think we should do? ...
A. 5 February 2005: You could try shopping around for a card that says exactly what's on your mind, something like "You're so hot, I want a big, wet kiss right now!" or words to that effect. The shops are heaving with such things just now, and it would be a pretty ... (read in full...)
How can I stay friends with lesbian couple when I am sleeping with one of them?
Q. I'm a 24-year-old lesbian. I've been out on my own for ten years, and so I often find myself associating with much older people. I have been friends with this lesbian couple about four years now. Last January, I went overseas with one of the ...
A. 5 February 2005: Hi there, Since you don't seem to have any ethical objection to sleeping with half a couple, potentially alienating one partner (I'm glad you at least acknowledge feeling a little guilty), and since you want to stop yourself from seducing this wo... (read in full...)
We are supposed to be getting married but he just puts me down!
Q. I have been going out with my boyfriend for almost 3.5years, we got engaged in Aug05 and since then things have not been so good.i always used to get this warm feeling inside me of complete contentment that my future happiness was secure with this ...
A. 5 February 2005: Hi there, I agree with the other person who replied. Someone who puts you down and calls it a "joke" is abusive. No matter how well you and he get on in other ways, you will always have to deal with his verbal abuse, which is probably rooted ... (read in full...)
I don't think my wife was a virgin after all...
Q. Hello, My wife and I have been married one month. On our first night she didnt bleed, Shes never done excessive excersize or any of the other reasons for her hymen not to be intact. The only reason can be that she wasnt a virgin!! Pleas...
A. 3 February 2005: Hi there, Actually, you're incorrect. Women who are sexual virgins do not necessarily bleed when they first have intercourse. There are a number of ways that her hymen could have been torn before you were married, including such innocent... (read in full...)
How do you get over your first love?
Q. Hi there, I wrote in a few weeks ago about my boyfriend of 5 yrs who was incredibly selfish and only wanted to think about himself and no-one else, (BJC - his name is Adam and you answered my question - I'm not sure if you remember?) He didnt bu...
A. 3 February 2005: Hi there, Of course I remember you and your description of Adam. I'm glad that you realised that you're worth more time and effort than he was giving you and that you gave yourself some time apart. The first couple of weeks after ending any... (read in full...)
New to the dating game, how do I keep the relationship going?
Q. Hiya i'm Marley, and im about a month into my first proper girlfriend. I used to be really fat but now ive lost all my weight so ive recently come into the dating game, so i don't know how to keep a relationship going E.G i don't kno whether i ...
A. 2 February 2005: Hi Marley, Congratulations on the new, trim, sensational you! The very best thing to do, is what you feel is best. This works for all kinds of aspects of the relationship, such as "When do I say 'I Love You'?", "How often should we have se... (read in full...)
I'm 13 and scared to meet 18 year old guy I have met on a chat-room!
Q. i met this realy sweet guy on a chat room about 5-6weeks ago. i am 13 and i told him i was 16 and he said he was 18 and we talked alot over the fone alot n we soon feel in love. i told him the truth and he said he was fine with it. he also just got...
A. 2 February 2005: Hi there, Please listen to your doubts. I know that this feels like real love to you because it's brand new, but I'm worried for your safety. Please take my advice: **************** DO NOT MEET HIM! **************** You should break... (read in full...)
If I stay in her life will she one day be my girl?
Q. hi, i have known my best girl m8 we'll call her "a" for 9 years, and we've never been more then friends although, whenever we're together we often act like boyfriend and girlfriend, we flirt outrageously and theirs an amazing chemistry between ...
A. 2 February 2005: Hi there, I think you're seeing things you want to see, but that aren't really there. Even though your letter goes into quite a lot of detail, the only bits relevant to your question are that a) you've known her for 9 years, b) you had a brief ... (read in full...)
My fiancee just refuses to travel!
Q. The only thing my fiancee and I argue about is travelling. He won't go on a plane (I think he had a traumatic experience as a child) so I comprimised and said we would just drive to where ever around the country. I can accept that because I have ...
A. 1 February 2005: Hi there, It's interesting that you have to "think" about the reason the man you want to marry-and-spend-the-rest-of-your-days-with won't travel by air. Have you asked him about it? If he did have a traumatic experience, then it might be wor... (read in full...)
My best friend has been married for one week and her new husband has already tried it on with me!
Q. My best friend got married a week ago and yesterday her husband phoned me saying he wanted to meet up to arrange a surprise hair appointment for his wife. As the conversation progressed, it transpired that he actually wanted to meet for a bit of ...
A. 1 February 2005: Hi there, No, don't tell your friend. It will hurt her terribly and there's just a really good chance that ol' lover boy will deny it anyway. What I would do is keep well away from the new husband and would not, under any circumstances, allow y... (read in full...)
Should I stay and make everyone else happy? Or leave and please myself?
Q. I am due to be married in August. I moved in with my fiance and my parents were not pleased as they are strict Catholics, however, I had to get out of their house where I was living as I suffer from depression and there was a major family upheaval ...
A. 1 February 2005: Hi dear, Please don't allow this situation to dominate your life. I can't say that I've been in your position, but I can see one or two important points in your letter that encouraged me to respond. You seem to be running your life as a one-st... (read in full...)
I dread the thought of my boyfriend wanting sex
Q. Whats wrong with me, why dont i want to have sex anymore? me and my boyfriend of 5 years are doing great, madly and passionatly in love, but for some reason, i just dont want to have sex. Once we start, its great and feels good and i like it, but i ...
A. 1 February 2005: Hi there, Give some thought to what, specifically, it is that you're dreading. You write that the sex feels good once you're doing it, so it would appear that it isn't the physical activity that's causing your hesitation. Does your boyfriend ... (read in full...)
My new man is dangerously obsessed with my sexual past
Q. I was living with my partner of 6 years when I met someone else through a sports hobby, he was my instructor.There was very clearly something between us which is why after about years deliberation from my side and much discussion with the new man, ...
A. 31 January 2005: I forgot to include this link, which gives a frighteningly-parallel description of abusers. www.hiddenhurt.co.uk/Abuser/abuser.htm ... (read in full...)
My new man is dangerously obsessed with my sexual past
Q. I was living with my partner of 6 years when I met someone else through a sports hobby, he was my instructor.There was very clearly something between us which is why after about years deliberation from my side and much discussion with the new man, ...
A. 31 January 2005: Jane, Get away from this man. Now. Leave. Seriously. Take whatever you have to and go somewhere else. You're in a very dangerous situation with a man who appears to be a violent abuser and I have no doubt whatsoever that he will start to... (read in full...)
Don't want girl I fany to think I'm stalking her down!
Q. im 16 and i fancy this bank teller at my local branch she is 18-22 but i waited outside the branch for nearly 1hr 30mins for her but she locked the door and just waved but im afraid to go back into the branch next week incase she thinks i was sta...
A. 31 January 2005: Hi there, First things first. Hanging around her workplace is probably not the best idea. She obviously would have noticed you outside the door for all the time, and it would have been a distraction from what she's supposed to be doing (that is, ... (read in full...)
Should I stay as friends with dream girl or tell her how I feel?
Q. If u have strong feelings for a friend which is a girl and u have known her for 10 yrs, dated in 7th grade for 6 months, and would do anything for including buying her, her dream engagement ring for $5,000-$10,000 should i tell her how i feel and ...
A. 31 January 2005: Hi there Romeo, Whoa! Please! Slow it down, dear. You have strong feelings of affection for her, but reading between the lines, you haven't dabbled in the romantic aspects with her since the 7th Grade. Don't you think pricing engagement rin... (read in full...)
Need ideas on how to prevent so many arguments
Q. Please please help me. I've been with my boyfriend for 10 months now, but for the last 2 or 3 we have been having huge arguments that we don't seem able to control. They are often about small topics such as football or a tiny aspect of life. He ...
A. 30 January 2005: Hi there, You may be having what I think of as "invisible arguments". On the surface, these arguments are about football, or what time the train comes, but if you dig down deeper, they're really about why he doesn't want kids, or why got drunk an... (read in full...)
I'm just too scared to ask her out in case she says no!
Q. I like a girl at school and I want to ask her out, but I'm scared she'll say know. What should I do? P.S. We're sort of friends...
A. 30 January 2005: Hi there, You're being friends already is a great start! She already knows you, and she must like you, or she wouldn't be your friend. The way it looks to me is that your chances are much better asking your friend out than asking a girl you don't... (read in full...)
I like him, does he like me?
Q. hiya im katie. i have a really big problem i fancie my best boy mate we have known each other since we were born. he used to fancie me in school. now i proper dig him and i dnt no if her likes me. wen he came over for boxing day he tried to kiss me ...
A. 30 January 2005: Hi Katie, You're giving this boy really mixed messages, and he's probably terribly confused. First, he liked you and you weren't interested, now you like him but when he tried to kiss you, you turned away. But you still hug him whenever you see... (read in full...)
My parents don't approve of my drunk boyfriend...
Q. I have been going out with this guy for nearly a year now and my parents don't approve of him. However I am 23 so I know that shouldn't matter the only problem is his drinking habbit. When he is sober he is the most caring guy you could possibly ...
A. 29 January 2005: Hi there, The problem here is not that your parents don't like him - you're well old enough to make your own choices - but that the man you've chosen shows definite signs toward alcoholism. Alcoholism is a disease that is extremely hard t... (read in full...)
Should I call him or call it an end?
Q. Dear Cupid, I'm a little sad/depressed at the moment. My boyfriend and I finished just a few weeks ago. We have been going out with one another on and off for around 2 and half years. I'm absolutley gutted tht he hasn't contacted me and feel that ...
A. 29 January 2005: Hi there, Ask yourself this: why do you miss him? Is is because it's something that's a "known", and therefore comfortable and reliable? Or do you really miss this actual person, and all the little quirks that come with any individual? Y... (read in full...)
Scared and don't know where to run (long)
Q. I feel like I am going mad. I am no saint, but deeply unhappy. I need help and advice badly. A couple of years ago I moved with my boyfriend to Wales. I took a job there and was bullied by the other staff members so badly that I ended up being o...
A. 29 January 2005: Hi dear, That's a very long story of sadness and confusion. I wish I had a quick answer for you or the ability to make it all clear in a few quick sentences, but I can't. In fact, I don't think anyone could instantly make it better for you. ... (read in full...)
I'm a beautician, he's a goth who is into computers. Will things work?
Q. i'm at college, and my friend introduced to his mate in his class and now we have a good friendship but he told me that he's fallen in love with me and i turned him, but then i went over to his house to watch a film n we were laughing n joking ...
A. 29 January 2005: Hi there, Actually, I think you DO know what's going on with him. You wrote as much in your letter. "It's like he just has to talk to [you] because he's sleeping with [you]". What's going on with him is, you're being used for sex and you seem ... (read in full...)
My husband spends ALL our money on cars... I've finally said enough is enough!
Q. My husband is mad about cars. Since we have been married (nearly thirteen years)he has changed his car about twelve times. This may seem ok but everytime he upgrades the car and gets a larger loan so in essence the car we have at present is costing ...
A. 27 January 2005: Hi there, It sounds like your husband is projecting his self-image into the car he drives, so whenever he upgrades the car, he feels better about himself, as if he's newer/better/more powerful. That's why the money issue doesn't bother him. Y... (read in full...)
Should I let my boyfriend watch porn?
Q. Me and my partner have been together for 3 and a half years and have recently moved in together. We found it difficult at first but now we are getting back to how we used to be. But there's one thing that really bothers me about him - he watches ...
A. 27 January 2005: Hi Kez, There is such a problem as "porn addiction", and it's related to compulsions that some people have difficulty controlling, like overeating, gambling habits and binge drinking. But having said that, there are also guys who just like to w... (read in full...)
I'm the second wife of my husband - and at my witts end
Q. Wat do you do with the husband who won't share (on any level) with his second and current wife. In other words, who wont become "we" with his wife. Whose entire focus is on how to stay "we" or have an ever better "we" with his son from the first ...
A. 27 January 2005: Hi there Second Wife, Did you know any this about him when you married him? If not, why not? If so, why is it only an issue now? You can't - and shouldn't - try to compete with your husband's love for his son. The son only has one fathe... (read in full...)
I keep getting turned down by girls, how can I make myself more attractive?
Q. I never seem to be able to get a girlfriend everytime i ask a girl out she turns me down i just wish some girl would like me but none do but i like many girls but since i have been turned down so many times i am afraid to get close to any girl and i ...
A. 27 January 2005: In addition to the great answer posted below, this is another suggestion: don't think you have to "be" something that you're not when you talk to girls. A lot of young lads think they have to use some hackneyed pick-up line or other, or preten... (read in full...)
My secret desire for other women is driving me insane!
Q. I'm with a man that I have been with for almost a year and although I still find him sexy and attractive and the sex is good, I'm bisexual and he doesn't know it. Lately I've been finding myself craving women and it's driving me insane. Should I ...
A. 27 January 2005: Hi there, When I read your question, the first phrase through my head was "Fortune favours the bold"! Go on and tell your boyfriend; in fact, tell him just as you've done here, that you have fantasies about sex with women and it's driving you ... (read in full...)
When does it stop hurting after a cheat has confessed? Feel like I'm living a lie...
Q. My husband confessed that he had been unfaithful. After much soul seaching and many tears on both sides we decided that we still loved each other and wanted to try and save our relationship. It has been a difficult time and he thinks that all is p...
A. 27 January 2005: Hi there, I'm so sorry to hear how much pain you're in over this. I'm glad that you felt your relationship was strong enough that you could try to get beyond the betrayal of your trust. There isn't any timetable that you have to obey in respect... (read in full...)
My stolen park kiss with best friend's boyfriend
Q. me and my best friends boyfriend were goin to my friends house and as we stopped at the park to sit down we kissed and now i kind of fancy him and i dont no what to do and to top that my friend wants me to choose out of her or her boyfriend please ...
A. 27 January 2005: Hi there, I'd be choosing your best friend, and put the mistake with her boyfriend right out of your mind. It's understandable that you'd be confused right now, when this kiss seemingly came out of nowhere, but there are two important points t... (read in full...)
My drunken night of carnage with male strippers: Worried I'll be the next "Paris Hilton"
Q. I'm consulting you about something that happened last year and the more I think about what happened the more I worry. I'm 35 and have been married for nearly 5 years. Some friends (during a girls night out) suggested we go to see some male st...
A. 26 January 2005: Hi there, Well, technically, it's easy enough to do, and, as long as they don't name you on the site or try to use the film for extortion purposes, I think the answer is Yes. The bigger question is, Would they? Once something is one the Web ... (read in full...)
I am married and cheating, and looking for advice
Q. I met this man on messenger about four months ago. We started to get feelings for each other very quickly, and agreed to meet up in January (4 months after we first 'met'), we are both married with children, and no longer love our partners, we had a...
A. 25 January 2005: Hi there, My heart goes out to you. But look back on what he's said to you: He doesn't know when you can meet again because of the danger of getting "caught out". He would rather end it than string you along. He never thought seriously about ... (read in full...)
What can I do to get my boyfriend change his mind and date me?
Q. im 14 and there is a boy in my year who i really fancie. we have been flirting with each other and do simple things like walk round school holding hands. we are so close to people think we are going out. i knew i would like him when i first saw and ...
A. 25 January 2005: Hi there, No, you can't get him to change his mind. He's the only one who can do that. Try to force him to see things your way and you'll lose what you have. In fact, it sounds from your letter that you've got a great thing going, something tha... (read in full...)
Why is my ex-boyfriend going around telling lies
Q. I need help working out why my boyfriend after splitting up with him then started ringing all my friends and colleges in work telling lies, then texting me with what he has done and then started ringing my parent telling more lies. I can’t stop w...
A. 25 January 2005: Hi there, It sounds like your ex has rejection issues and feels that by slandering you to your friends and family he gets to be the wronged party, which probably - in some perverse way - makes him feel better. But what he's doing is wrong and qui... (read in full...)
I just do not enjoy sex. At all.
Q. I have been married to my husband for 2 years, I love him very much and I am still attracted to him. When we first started dating we had a great sex life but now I just dont feel like it (I hardly ever feel sexually aroused anymore). I realise that ...
A. 25 January 2005: Hi there, First and foremost, get thee to a gynecologist. Have him or her check you out for any vaginal infection or inflammation and explain to him or her that in just two years you've gone from a normal sex life to nothing at all, due to disc... (read in full...)
Size of the average penis?
Q. Hi, I'm going to ask you a question you probaly get asked quite a lot but before you answer this has nothing to to with sex its purely based on penis size. At what point does a penis become small? I'm 5 inches long and its also thin. Am I smal...
A. 25 January 2005: I agree that the average is 5-7 inches, when erect. Men tend to fixate on dimensions, though. (Perhaps from watching too many laughably-large porn stars.) The main point is, if it's big enough to keep you and your g/f happy, then it's big enough. ... (read in full...)
I am married man but have an indian lady fetish... And just love wearing their sarees!
Q. Hi. I have been married to an English girl for nearly 10 years now, and even though it has been a happy 10 years, I have always been attracted to women from India, especially women who wear the saree as their main clothing. I have joined various I...
A. 25 January 2005: Hi there, It's not really fair to your wife to continue to stay married to her, when in your heart you want something tremendously different from what she can provide and when the preoccupation with Indian women and sarees takes your interest so... (read in full...)
My boyfriend's sleazy collection of nudey cut-outs he keeps under his bed (and he's 22)!
Q. I am 20 years old and have been going out with my boyfriend for 5 years, my problem is not really our relationship because we get on fine. My real problem is that he keep photos of naked women under his bed that he gets from mens mags and news ...
A. 25 January 2005: You get mad because you're mentally measuring each of these slips of paper against your image of you and you worry that you might not compare. But, don't forget: these are slips of paper! They're not women, they're not even girls. They're not even ... (read in full...)
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