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anonymous
writes: I have been going out with this guy for nearly a year now and my parents don't approve of him. However I am 23 so I know that shouldn't matter the only problem is his drinking habbit. When he is sober he is the most caring guy you could possibly meet, however he does like to drink and tends to do this most days, as soon as he gets any money he spends it on alcohol and when he starts to drink he doesn't seem to know when to stop. This worries me slightly because I am disabled and I feel vulnerable when he is like this.Please help me what should I do!
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 May 2009): Do you approve of your drunk boyfriend? How does he make you feel when he is drunk? Is he considerate of your thoughts and feelings? Is he mentally there for you? If the answers to these questions are less than desirable maybe you should take a closer look at your situation. Also, Maybe your parents don't want to see you hurt.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 May 2008): You want to share common experiences with those you love. Have you considered getting drunk with him? Getting drunk alone is pathetic, but with two it's a party!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 September 2007): Follow your heart. If you love eachother, that is all that matters.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 July 2007): I have a soluntion for you...bring your family and your boyfriend onto our new talk show on NBC. Our host will convince your family that your boyfriend is a good kid and really help him control his drinking. Please email me at [email address blocked] asap!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 March 2007): I'M 52 .I WOULD SAY TO MAKE YOUR LIFE BETTER, GET AWAY FROM HIM .I'VE BEEN WITH MEN YOU TRY TO SAVE. THEY RUIN YOUR LIFE .I KNOW!!!!! .YOU ARE YOUNG, LOOK FOR SOMEONE YOU DON'T HAVE TO BABYSIT.LOOK FOR THE BEST,NOT A NEEDY GUY.YOU CAN FIND HIM AND DON'T BE IN A HURRY TO.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 November 2006): Drop him. I am in a similar situation, and I know I need to drop him. He wont change, no matter how he wants to, and money will never be around including yours . Just drop him.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 September 2006): Dump him,it will only get worse
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female
reader, Bev Conolly  +, writes (29 January 2005):
 Hi there,The problem here is not that your parents don't like him - you're well old enough to make your own choices - but that the man you've chosen shows definite signs toward alcoholism.Alcoholism is a disease that is extremely hard to "cure", and if the symptoms aren't recognised, the drinker can spiral downwards quickly. I'm particularly concerned that you say that he spends his money on drink "as soon as he gets [any]" and that he doesn't know when to stop. These are classic signs of a binge drinker who is becoming psychologically dependant.Here are a few symptoms that are generally accepted as being warning signs. Read through and see how many apply to your boyfriend.# Drinking/using alone# Denying drinking/using# Experiencing memory impairment# Feeling fatiqued and/or depressed# Using/Drinking in response to stress# Impairing personal relationships# Becoming "edgy" without drinking/using# Missing work# Drinking daily# Needing progressively more alcohol# Drinking in the morningIf he does show signs of alcoholism, I want to hasten to say that it doesn't mean he can't still be a lovely person when he's sober. But I'd ask you, if he's so noticeably lovely when he's not drinking, what happens to him when he does? Your concern about your vulnerability when he's drunk worries me.Have a talk to him about his reliance on drinking and the money he spends on it. Ask him if he would be willing to have a few drink-free days each week. If he seems evasive, if he denies he has a problem, if he gets agressive about it... I'd be thinking of giving him a wider berth. At this time in your life, do you really need the stress and strain of a partner dependant on any substance? It takes a very strong person to deal with substance addiction, whatever the substance, and you may need to decide if he's worth that much trouble to you.If so, consider AlAnon, whose members are family and friends of alcoholics and who know what to do and what to expect and can give you a great deal of support.I hope that this helps.
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