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anonymous
writes: I recently got back together with my highschool sweetheart, but I'm finding it increasingly difficult to be intimate with him without a bit of dutch courage... how can I find out what my issues are and solve them, as I do want to be with him.
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female
reader, Bev Conolly  +, writes (5 February 2005):
 First, you need to ask yourself what you do with the alcohol that you don't (or wouldn't) do without it. Are you reliant on a drink to meet other challenges in your life? (If so, that's a red flag of alcohol dependance and bears scrutiny more than I can give you.)Does your bf want you to do things in bed that you're uncomfortable with, or are you nervous about sexual activities regardless? Does he push your limits too far? Doing things you might regard as too way out can be exciting and stimulating sometimes, but if he wants you to do things that you really find repellent or "too much" can make you feel self-conscious and dissatisfied, so you need to look at that as a possibility.When you answer these questions to yourself, you'll be in a better position to know how to handle the sexual issues. Remember, that you're within your rights to enjoy and look forward to sex! You shouldn't have to do things that you don't like, even if he enjoys them. If he pushes you into activities you don't enjoy, or if he has habits that you find distasteful, you're never going to enjoy it, and you might as well break off the relationship. Apart from anything else, a partner that doesn't care about your feelings, may be what's turning you off sex without a nip or two beforehand.Hope that this helps.
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