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... Send *ev Conolly a private message | | | *ev Conolly's profile:I'm female, 44 and raised in the western US. I was married first at age 17, which I realised soon after was a rather large mistake! We divorced seven years later, then I travelled around the world, settling in Australia. I met my husband here and we've been together for 18 years, married for 14. I feel much more Australian than I ever felt American.
I wish I knew a lot more about everything than I do, but at least I have a lot of experience at making poor choices in life and correcting them later. That's why I like to provide advice when it's asked for.
As to my pictorial representation... I play the bagpipes. Badly, to be sure, but the best thing about the pipes is, almost no one can tell you don't have any skill!
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Does my boyfriend want sex with me?
Q. Does my boyfriend want sex with me? We have been going out for over 2 months, and recently he's been doing a lot of moves on me. Eg touching and squeezing my breasts, whilst making out with me, and breathing heavely. And sometimes lifting my top ...
A. 16 January 2005: Hi Sabrina, I think it's a near certainty that your boyfriend wants to have sex. He may not have any idea how to suggest it, but I don't think there's much doubt that he'd like to. You've pretty much seen all the body language that a boy of ab... (read in full...)
Been with my first love for several years... But don't think he's "the one"
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for several years and it has been my first serious relationship. While he seems to think we'll be together forever, I've always had my doubts and am not so certain that he is 'the one'. Everything is fine and I love him ...
A. 16 January 2005: Hi there, If this is your first serious relationship, it's really quite natural that you'd be curious about what it's like to date other men, before you settle down forever with your current b/f. And I can understand your conundrum over b... (read in full...)
Did I move too fast with my new guy?
Q. I started to see this guy I have been aquainted with for a year, it's been about a month since we've started seeing each other. The first night we hung out we stayed up till 10:30 am talking, fliting, and most of all laughing! anyway we liked each ...
A. 15 January 2005: Hi there, This isn't terribly complicated and you don't have to feel nuts: you asked him and he told you that he felt that things were moving too quickly for comfort. He might have been surprised and scared by the almost-sex and is probably conc... (read in full...)
I'm 33, married with a young baby... But now in love with young man at work!
Q. I am 33yrs old and have been in a relationship for the past 14yrs, we have a 10yr child together, we have always just plodded along, i do my thing and he does his (which always involves watching sports on tv). He is a good man but there as never be...
A. 15 January 2005: Hi there, First, let's talk about your friendship (etc?) with the young man at work. Romantic relationships with workmates are a terrible minefield. You would already know very well that not all relationships work out in the long term, so wh... (read in full...)
I've got no pubic hair... Now everyone knows!
Q. i am 13 and have no pubic hair at all its so embarrising and i dont want to tell or talk to anyone about it. please help me as my ex boyfriend found this out and has spread it all round my school, people took the mick out of me for a week i got so ...
A. 15 January 2005: Hi there, Short answer is: No, there isn't. Nothing grows hair on your head, groin or anywhere else. It will grow there when it's ready to, and that will be soon. Believe me. The longer answer is: Why are you letting it get to you? They can ... (read in full...)
Am I in a dead-end relationship?
Q. Well, I have been with my boyfriend for 4 years and we have a 4 month old baby boy. I'm just so fed up with him, as he goes to work comes in and expects me to make his dinner do all the housework make bottles for our son. While I'm doing all this...
A. 15 January 2005: Hi there, Your b/f is carrying on this way because you allow him to. By your stepping in and doing everything, you're proving that you don't need your b/f to help, and now the workload is starting to show, as you both get irritable with t... (read in full...)
My great new girlfriend dropped a bombshell: She used to be a prostitute!
Q. I've met this girl 4 months ago and things are starting to get serious with her. We started living together and naturaly spending all of our time with each other. She is really a nice girl and I love her deeply. Just the other day she told me her d...
A. 14 January 2005: Dear Please Advise, ...in other words, when your girlfriend was just getting comfortable with your relationship and trusted you enough to tell you about her secret past, you blew your stack and threw her out because she shattered your fantasy of ... (read in full...)
I had an abortion and want to break up with my boyfriend but am scared of consequences
Q. Last year, I got pregnant and subsequently had an abortion. During this upsetting period, my family and I learned that my sister was having her first baby. It was so hard to cope, although I was so happy for her. Since then, I have wanted to break ...
A. 14 January 2005: Hi, You sound like you're in real turmoil, which is understandable. You've just made a tremendously difficult and sad decision at a time when so much attention was focussed on babies, due to your sister's pregnancy. It seems that the situation is... (read in full...)
My husband never takes the initiative... Feel so sad
Q. I'm 28 and I've been married for 5 years. I love my husband and I know he loves me too. I find him very sexy and since we first began our relationship I've always loved it when we make love and are together. He's always been less enthusiastic abo...
A. 13 January 2005: It's a shame that he won't talk to you about this and why he's so reluctant to have any sort of sexual activity with you, when you sound so keen. From what you've written - unless you've suddenly ballooned out to 150kg or have lethal sardine b... (read in full...)
I'm 64, in love with 26 year-old girl from Ukraine
Q. Hi I am having a correspondence with a girl in the Ukraine. She seems to be a lovely person, and I know that she wants me to meet her in her home town. What worries me is the difference in our ages, I am in my sixties, she is 26. She knows ...
A. 13 January 2005: Hi Alan, First off, I do believe that there's a chance that you could be happy together, your ages notwithstanding. As with any potential relationship (Let's not forget that you two haven't actually met yet, so it's a bit early to be thinking o... (read in full...)
Is my role-play fetish normal?
Q. Dear Cupid I am female and married. I have a fetish about being spanked by my partner for being naughty. I like to dress up as a school girl and pretend that I have been sent to the headmaster for the cane or slipper. Is this normal? Sarah...
A. 12 January 2005: Hi Sarah, This is one of those slippery questions... What's perfectly "normal" in your sexual repertoire might shock me and what I regard as "normal" might make you laugh and point at me. But if you mean, "is this common?", then yes, it is. Spa... (read in full...)
I'm 15, should I date 13 year old girl?
Q. hello im am 15 male and i have a big problem (well it is for me). theres this girl that i fancy alot but she is 13 she says she feels the same way and wants to go out with me but the ages diffence is a concern for because im in year 11 and shes...
A. 12 January 2005: Hi there, TC, You sound like a sensitive and kind young man, but might be building this up into much more than it needs to be. Although the age difference seems large to you now, in a few years, you'll look back at this situation and wonder what ... (read in full...)
My partner likes to look at big boobies on the net
Q. Hi I have a couple of question actually. First I am in my early thirties have been with this guy for seven years. He likes to look on the web at big busted naked women this makes me feel like I am not enough for him. Also I don't like to have sex ...
A. 11 January 2005: First of all, don't sweat the big boobs thing... Men like to look at women and they'll do it any chance they get; that's just a given, and not worth much concern. At least your guy is doing it at home, rather than trying to sneak pervy glances at... (read in full...)
My husband is just too nice!
Q. Dear Cupid, I don't know where to start really, as my friends seem to think this isn't a problem when I've tried to talk to them about this, and to quote them 'that's what marriage is all about and I'm very lucky he wants to do everything with ...
A. 11 January 2005: Hi JL, It's only a weird situation to other people; being in it must feel like absolute hell, since his behaviour as you describe it sounds really wonderful, yet you find it increasingly intolerable. I'm serious when I say you have my sympathy... (read in full...)
Crush on my best friend's sister
Q. Dear Cupid, I developed a crush on my best friend's sister,we started to notice each other around town we always made eye contact and smiled at each other and finally I did manage to talk to her I think she knew I liked her a lot she would always...
A. 10 January 2005: Provided that she only has a boyfriend and not, say, a fiancee, this isn't a show-stopper. Relationships start and end all the time. You might be waiting weeks or months for her current flame to fizzle out (or, you might possibly be waiting ... (read in full...)
Is there a pill to put off periods for a week?
Q. Heya i just wanted to know if you knew of any pill or something that can prevent your periods for around about a week. Its just because i am due when i am going away for the weekend and i could do without the hassle of periods. This isn't really ...
A. 10 January 2005: My understanding of birth control pills is that in each month's pack there are 21 pills containing progestin and/or estrogen and 7 containing nothing (or sugar only). When you finish the progestin pills and start on the "nothing" pills, your period ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend's baby problems...
Q. I met my boyfriend in August 2004 and have been seeing each other a lot since. He told me when he first met me that he had a baby who had just turned 1 in August 2004. At the time it didnt bother me and I have always said I dont want to come ...
A. 8 January 2005: From your description, there's really no doubt at all that the old g/f is using the baby as a way to keep your boyfriend strung along, in the background, possibly as a source of support payments. The calling him, saying the baby wants to talk to ... (read in full...)
Need help finding Mr. Right
Q. I seem to be able to meet and attract guys but not to be able to hold on to them. My last 2 ‘relationships’ only lasted a few months and both amicably, but both were ended by the guy saying he wanted to cool things off but we could ‘…stay ...
A. 8 January 2005: The first thing you need to do is ignore that stupid advice from your friends. "Treat them mean to keep them keen"? What kind of rubbish is that, anyway? Would you be bowled over with affection for someone who kept you at arm's length and pretended ... (read in full...)
Sex with girlfriend on her period
Q. Hi, me and my girlfriend are 16 but we rarely see each other, alone. But now and again she is on her period. problem- I don't have a problem with having sex during her period but she does. In theory if you can catch it at the start or very end it ...
A. 8 January 2005: This is a really common concern amongst woman and you're game for not being put off. I suspect that your g/f doesn't want to have sex during her period because it IS messy and she feels the whole experience will be that much less enjoyable i... (read in full...)
Why is it hard to prove I'm not cheating?
Q. Why is it so hard to prove to your wife that I'm not cheating?...
A. 8 January 2005: It's because you can't prove a negative, and by not being able to prove it, you risk looking guilty. It's a trap, and a nasty one. You can look at why your wife accuses you, which may shed some light on it. Did you ever cheat on her before? Peo... (read in full...)
Why is this girl messing me around?
Q. Well, where do I start ? I met a girl about 7 months ago. We moved in together as friends. We were friends for about a month and then started dating. We were together for 6 months. She has a 6 year old son who looks at me like his dad and hugs me, ...
A. 8 January 2005: I'm sorry about this, Confused Guy, but she's keeping you around and on a string as a 'back-up' boyfriend in case this one doesn't work out and because her son loves you. When she said that she needed time to 'sort out her feelings' she wa... (read in full...)
I'm a pagan my guy is muslim
Q. Ok so I would so appreciate a third party perspective on this. I am 21 and am in a foreign country for a year studying abroad. Since I have been here I met a wonderful guy. There a a few problems though. The first and foremost is that I am going ...
A. 8 January 2005: Hi Confused, You already know the answer to this one. You have said that you intend going back to your own country in a matter of months and feel that you could never live in an Islamic country. Where, then, are you two going to live? You al... (read in full...)
Should I keep calling him until he forgives me?
Q. I am 25 years old and I have a boyfriend. The only problem is that I am unsure whether he holds me to an importance as much as I do him. I sometimes like I'm not important enough just to recieve a phone call. I wrote a letter telling him about my...
A. 7 January 2005: Short answer: give him space. Do NOT call him. Men don't communicate the same way as women. His not calling you as often as you would like is probably not intentional, but men aren't wired up to spend all their spare time obsessing about ... (read in full...)
I have lied to my fiancee about my age
Q. I have lied to my fiancee about my age. We have been dating for about a year and she still thinks I am older than I really am. I need to get this off my chest but I am not sure how to tell her....
A. 7 January 2005: Let's hope that you didn't tell her that you're 45 when you're only 13. You don't say how old you are, or how old you told her you are, but unless if affects your legal ability to get married, it should be a non-issue. She's your fiancee, right? ... (read in full...)
My girl is too emotional, how do I ask her to move out
Q. I am a 35 year old man dating a younger woman who moved in with me when she and her sister had an argument this was only supposed to be temporary. She has had a problem finding a job and it has been a year now. We have had arguments and she went to h...
A. 7 January 2005: Whatever else you do, you must not marry this woman! If you think you're unhappy now, just wait until she's married to you for all time, with no thought of a job in her mind and no reason whatsoever to mend her ways. Then if she decides to surprise ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is so possessive it's scary
Q. I have a great boyfriend who loves me very much, but sometimes it is scary how possessive he is. He doesn't want me to go hang out with my friends because he is not included. He questions me like a drill sergeant about everything! I don't know what ...
A. 7 January 2005: Hi there, It's hard to tell, from your letter, what's so "great" about your boyfriend. He sounds like he thinks that he owns you and can give you orders about where you can go and who you can see! What's great about that? Only you can decide ... (read in full...)
Couldn't quite manage it...
Q. i recently tried sex with my girlfriend of 1 year. we are both 17. however, when i got to actual penetration, my penis wasn't as hard as before and i couldn't enter her. we had to stop. that was 2 weeks ago. why did that happen to me? is there ...
A. 7 January 2005: It's really unlikely that there's a physical problem that's preventing your staying hard during sex. A simple way that you can distinguish a physical problem/health issue from something else is to ask yourself if you can get regular erections; in ... (read in full...)
Should I make the first move on my inexperienced virgin girlfriend?
Q. Hi, i'm a 23 year old male from England. I have recently just started seeing someone who is still a virgin and i am a little more...experienced so to speak. The problem I have is that i really like her and I am willing to wait for her, but should ...
A. 5 January 2005: Hi there, We'll start with the assumption that your new flame is of legal age and the only reason that she's a virgin has to do with her choice and/or a lack of opportunity or a previous lack of sexual interest on her part. That said, you need ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend's friends lead her astray
Q. Dear Cupid,
My name is Chris and i've been going out with my girlfriend for about 5 months or so, i think she is the one, in fact i know she is the one but i am a very jealous over-protective person. Since we've been going out i havent hung out ...
A. 4 January 2005: Dear Chris,
It's obvious that you don't care for the type of people that your girlfriend likes to hang around with. They seem like partying types who want your g/f to rave with them exclusively and they seem to be ignoring your relation... (read in full...)
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