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anonymous
writes: Dear Cupid, I'm a little sad/depressed at the moment. My boyfriend and I finished just a few weeks ago. We have been going out with one another on and off for around 2 and half years. I'm absolutley gutted tht he hasn't contacted me and feel that our relationship must have been meaningless to him. I would love to contact him but my friends are saying that I shouldn't. I still love him but I don't know why because we didn't get on, he was really moody but I could cope with this. I miss him.Do you think I should give him a call or just let everything end? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 April 2005): I knwo exactly how you feel as I was in the same situation as you a few years ago. I really wanted myex back and I couldn't understand how after everything he didn't even contact me!I think Bev's advice is right - give it a month (I know it is soooo hard) and if you don't hear from him, maybe contact him to ask him how he is - if he still doesn't want to know, then call it a day and tell him that you won't do it again - believe me, he'll soon come running back if he thinks you won't be there to take him back when things start getting rough! And when he does...make sure you know whether you really want him back or not
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female
reader, Bev Conolly  +, writes (29 January 2005):
 Hi there,Ask yourself this: why do you miss him?Is is because it's something that's a "known", and therefore comfortable and reliable? Or do you really miss this actual person, and all the little quirks that come with any individual? You say he was "moody" but that you could cope with that. Fine, but why must you "cope" with someone you claim to love? Wouldn't it be better to love someone wholeheartedly and thoroughly and not have to tiptoe around their black periods?Your letter says that you were on and off for a couple of years. Why was that? Was it the same issues over and over that made you break up? Was this last break-up over the same issue again?I'd suggest this: give it another month. Think long and hard about why you keep breaking up. Give yourself plenty of time to decide if you miss him personally, or if you're just used to having another person around. Give even more thought to what you'd like in your Ideal Relationship. Then compare that to what being with the ex offers you. If there's enough overlap to make you happy, get back in touch. If not, be glad that you had the sense to end it.If you do get back together, make sure that you both take steps to address whatever it is that keeps driving you apart, or it'll recur over and over with increasing frequency. The danger there is that you'll get used to it happening and start to think it's "normal" to argue all the time.Good luck and I hope this helps.
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