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anonymous
writes: I need help working out why my boyfriend after splitting up with him then started ringing all my friends and colleges in work telling lies, then texting me with what he has done and then started ringing my parent telling more lies.I can’t stop what he is doing but it getting to the point where I can’t carry on.Please help me if you can.
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female
reader, Bev Conolly  +, writes (25 January 2005):
 Hi there,It sounds like your ex has rejection issues and feels that by slandering you to your friends and family he gets to be the wronged party, which probably - in some perverse way - makes him feel better. But what he's doing is wrong and quite possibly unlawful.Before you keep on worrying about this, though, think about what it's like from the point of view of the people he's ringing and lying to. If your parent(s) get a phone call one day from your ex, saying that you did this or you said that and what a wicked witch you are and how awfully you treated him... which are they more likely to think? A. That the daughter they raised (or the friend that they love) has suddenly turned into an unrecognisable bitch-monster, or B. That the b/f that's been broken up with, and whom they barely know, has gone off the deep end and is engaging in some dodgy and/or freaky behaviour? It's got to be the former.In your position, I would do two things. First, get in touch with your ex and tell him that you will not put up with slander and if he doesn't knock it off immediately, you'll be getting legal advice, aimed at forcing him to stop. Second, contact your friends and family yourself and give them advance notice that your ex has gone off the rails and that if they receive a phone call or text from him, to feel free to ignore it and hang up on him.You're not helpless in this situation, so stand up for yourself. Contact the free legal aid service (check your phone book; the name of the service varies from place to place) in your area and ask them what you can do. Hope this helps.
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