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age
26-29,
anonymous
writes: Okay guys, so I'm having an issue with stress at the minute - well, I have been for a while, but it seems like it's worse these days. I'm at uni and the work is all fine, I couldn't be any happier with the work, it's my social life and other situations that are stressing me out. My family have been really negative towards me recently, I honestly don't know why but everything I do or say is something that turns into a lecture. I'm not a bad kid, I'm not a rebel, but I am extremely creative and I like to be my own person and do my own little thing and they don't seem to like it. Everyone tells me that uni is the time to get my wacky and creative side out of the way before I start working in the real world but my family don't seem too keen on the idea, I'm not doing anything stupid, it's just dying my hair and stuff but they always have something negative to say unless I have a natural colour. I'm not really into the natural colours and stuff, I wanna try crazy colours and have fun... should I just do it and try or should I leave my hair natural or dyed natural colours? I know you don't know me so it's hard to answer, but do I just push to be my own person or conform?Also, I've kind of changed my career choices for the future. I still love my course and I love to do what I do and so I'm not going to drop out or anything like that, but I've decided that I want to become a tattoo artist. I love tattoos, they're incredible and I'd love to do them myself, I already have 1 and I love it, I designed it myself and I couldn't be happier with it. My problem is that when I had it done, my parents freaked out and so I'm worried that if I tell them about my career change they might freak out again. It's not their money that I'm 'wasting', it's my own debt so it wouldn't be a money issue, but I know that would come up, and I'd still be using my course but as more of a hobby. But I don't know how to tell them about it. They're coming to see me tomorrow and I'm undecided about whether or not to tell them.Any advice on any of this? Thank you :)
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 March 2014): Incidentally, I watched the shows also. The characters were quite volatile and there's a lot of drama that went on in those shops.
I also watched the reality shows: Best Ink, LA Ink, and NY Ink. Even a few others.
Oh, I know a little about it too. I also have a friend who is a tattooist. He also does piercings, henna tattoo art (he learned in India), and owns tanning spas. He invested money from his trust-fund to start his businesses, and has an MBA. He is an excellent business-man, and fantastic sculptor-artist as well. So I hold no prejudices about the trade.
He was born to family-money; but still knows the importance of his education for running his businesses.
I've been around, and I know a few things.
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 March 2014): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you.
What? Wiseowl, Kat Von D and Hannah Aitchinson are 2 of the most famous tattoo artists in the world, they're amazing and Kat Von D owns LA Ink, it's a TV show on MTV. I've watched it for years and before that came on TV I watched Miami Ink. I promise you, I know what I'm talking about :)
But I appreciate you advice, so thanks :)
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 March 2014): Follow your dreams with an education you can fall back on.
Your parents are not trying to live your life; they are giving you guidance; and making sure you are certain you know what you're doing. At your age, people will have dozens of dreams and about-faces before they reach the age of 30.
It's wonderful doing what you love. No one disputes that.
You also have to survive in the world of reality; as we follow our dreams.
I know you had to Google the names of those tattoo artists.
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 March 2014): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for your advice everyone.
Wiseowl, I'm not insulting or disregarding my parents, I respect them but I still have to do what is right for me, its not there life and they don't have to live it. I know a lot more about tattoos and the culture than the majority of people that make a rash decision to become one. And to answer your question about naming a famous tattoo artist there are several, Kat Von D and Hannah Aitchinson are just two of then.
But I'm not looking to be famous, I'm looking to do something I enjoy and until I was established, I would be working 2 jobs and I would work in a studio already established and with a good reputation. I understand the life and I want to give it a try, I'm not casting my parents out and I'll still have my degree.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 March 2014): Go ahead and do what you want, and do not miss your youth. Parents somehow are not as generous as what we generally think. To see their children living a happy life is probably not what they really want. They want you to live a life that they think is 'happy'.
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 March 2014): First off, they're nightmare is that you're going to become addicted to getting tattoos. That means you'll have them all over your arms legs, neck,chest, and back. Every time they look at you, they see them. You can't be an artist without having your own.
Parents make a lot of sacrifices and put you first in everything they do. They would die for you.
They protect you and guide you in preparation of seeing you grow and being able to take care of yourself. They want to see you healthy, happy, and successful. Every good parent's dream. They wouldn't be able to sleep at night, if they didn't feel they were doing their job.
You see, society and the law pressures them just like they pressure you. The neighbors watch in judgement, and relatives gossip. Their employers intrude on their privacy; because they feel they are an extension and representative of the companies they work for. You have so much to learn.
Parents are blamed for most of the wrong you do, when you're still young. You get a pass; because you're young and don't know any better. You get to play that card for a long-time.
The first thing a therapist or a cop does, when you get in trouble; is look to see how you were reared and treated by your parents. If you get in trouble as a juvenile, who are the people hauled in and blamed for your mess?
If you get expelled, where will you land? In their house.
You haven't a pot to piss in; or window to throw it out of.
When you're down on your luck; they're the first people you think of when you're young.
We don't always want what they want. When we're your age and younger, we don't have the foresight and experience they have either. We see our dreams with tunnel-vision. They see the before, middle, and the future of things.
That is the benefit of being older. Having wisdom through experience; having already put their own educations to the test, and knowing how hard it is to survive in this world. Yet still protect your young ones from the wolves at the gate.
Nothing hurts more than when you have to say no to your child; when you wish you could yes. Seeing the anger and disappointment in your face for standing their ground. For what they know is right for you. It's tougher than it looks, kiddo.
Your dream is to be a tattoo-artist. You don't think in practical terms like, how much it costs to pay rent. The fact that utilities and taxes never level-off; they cost more and more by the day. Groceries aren't free, and there is always some unforeseen event or obstacle that compromises everything you work so hard for. It takes a long time to become an established artist. So you work on whomever is willing to risk their skin in your hands.
There are also people who will get in your way and throw you off-track. That is what they are protecting you from,
and from your own poor judgement. You'll be exposed to some of the worst sorts of men. You will no doubt fall for one of them. You'll be drawn totally into their world.
Most of the people in tattoo parlors have horror-stories and colored pasts. (Pardon the pun.) They barely make enough to pay the rent. If you're not really good, you may have to have another job to supplement in the meantime.
It is far from a glamorous life. Their shops are hidden in seedy allies with neon-signs, or the shady part of town.
They have to do business with thugs, druggies, prostitutes, gang-bangers, pimps, skin-heads, and convicts. They have to have grit and be pretty tough to deal with their clientele. Who aren't always college kids experimenting with pink hair.
Before you start writing your parents off as dream-killers, mind your manners and thank your lucky stars. They give a sh*t, and will stand by you no matter what you do.
They will be disappointed with your bad choices, and have every right to voice their opinions. Everything you do reflects on your family-name; and the quality of your upbringing.
They work hard for a decent standing in their community, to give you a roof over your head, clothing, and food to eat. They have kept their noses clean; so not to have you taken from them when you were small. You could never repay them for all they've done for you. To listen to them and try to make them proud, is the least you could do.
Draw some compromise.
Don't tell me how good a kid you are; then put them down like they're stifling your expression and freedom. You hardly know anything about being a tattooist; accept for the side you like. Drawing pretty pictures on skin. What about the lifestyle; and their reputations in society?
What about their limited earnings?
Name a famous tattooist.
You want to experiment with extreme-fashion and just go crazy. You don't stop to consider the message these extreme expressions send out to the people who pay people as employees.
They usually earn a minimum-wage; and travel in circles normally not seen in daylight, or in mainstream society. They standout like a sore-thumb in a crowd. Not to mention the stares; and raunchy biker-guys, who'll assume you're just some rebel punk kid. They will treat you accordingly.
Merchants will stare you down, when you walk into their shops.
There is a reason they mostly come out at night, belong to drug-cultures, and often clash with the law. They're not innocent people like you, who are just experimenting. However; they are drawn to people like you for your innocence. The look is not a fashion-statement. It is representative of a life-style and subculture.
They'll entice you and tell you how wrong normal society is; and seduce you into their culture. You are inclined to believe them; because of how you have described your parents. You think they don't understand you and are ruled by their prejudices. Never mind their common-sense. They're stupid old-people. What do they know?
Yes, your parents are square, and follow the status quo.
They aren't stifling your freedom or expression; they are curbing your enthusiasm for the outrageous. They can't stop you from doing what you want. You can dye your hair blue or pink, just be prepared for the prejudices people of that culture bring on themselves.
They aren't all college kids just kidding around. They are ruffians and thugs who do what they do to spite society, and to send a message they do not conform to regular culture. They defy authority out of disrespect. They put freaky marks all over their bodies, as though they'll be young forever.
Whatever you do, don't do anything you'll look back on in 30 years or so, in regret.
Imagine your grandmother covered in tattoos and piercings. They don't just come off. You make a mistake on someone's skin, they aren't going to be very forgiving.
Some guys are turned off by girls with more tats than they have, and wild hair. Before you jump on me in their defense. I know many are quite beautiful and tasteful. Many are not. Tattoos tell a story and express something about you. Most are misinterpreted by law enforcement, and only spell trouble. They profile people by their appearance, and jump them altogether in a category; regardless of those who are law-abiding and everyday folks.
No one is going to hire someone to draw allover their body, unless you look like a road-map yourself. So your parents in-vision you tattooed from head to toe. Employers will not trust you to be around their clients or anything of value.
They associate the wild hair colors and body-art with criminals. There is a reason you don't see people with good jobs; visibly pierced and tattooed.
You have to work and take care of yourself. They want to see you grow-up, and move on in life. Not be hampered by the prejudices of society; and attracting a crowd that are mostly dreads of society. Punkish irresponsible obnoxious people, who use their appearance to intimidate and mock.
They will get use to whatever you do. What choice do they have?
If they see you can express yourself, get an education you can fall back on while you pursue your dreams, and keep your appearance acceptable enough to get work, that will pay the rent. They will support your dreams.
They don't want to financially-support your bum for the rest of their lives. They want to see you fending for
yourself and making your mark. They want to be proud of you. You already see them as standing in your way. That makes you vulnerable to those irresponsible types they fear will influence you.
You can get your traditional education first; then pursue your dreams. They will have nothing to say about it; because you showed them you can think on the practical side, you are prepared to support yourself, and they can back-off; because the world is your cherry.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 March 2014): my advice is pick your battles. the hair I wouldn't do, because waiting a few years won't hurt you, personally I don't think it's worth the battle. The career thing however is a life choice and a battle worth having because they do need to respect your life choices.
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female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (11 March 2014):
 There is no need to tell your parents you want to be a tattooist at this stage, it is not as if you are intending to set up shop tomorrow. however, I would suggest you continue studies with the aim of a "proper job" which you can use to cover the cost of living until you are in a financially stable position before you begin to build a reputation as a tattooist.
But colouring your hair, go for it, whacky colours, undercuts, tie in beads, plait in baubles, whatever ... go for it, its not permanent and wont harm you.
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female
reader, Sensible Alice +, writes (11 March 2014):
 There's nothing wrong with being whacky or creative, they are both fine qualities to have, but just remember you don't have to just be whacky or creative now - you can continue as you age - it's called being eccentric, LOL. And your desire to be a tattoo artist is fine too, they're in demand. But, it's always a good idea to have as many qualifications as you can, so keep up with your degree as you intend.
Your parents do and say what they do out of love. When they tell you that you look better with your natural hair colour they're not saying it to bring you down or to curb your style. They see the overall picture, not just the here and now, and when they see you with purple or green hair, they are perhaps worried that it could impact on how other's perceive you out in the world, eg, how it will affect your employment contacts or how it might even make people view you as a person. Unfortunately people do judge how someone looks, not really giving any consideration to the zany, smart and wonderful person that is lurking beneath. Maybe you could compromise by just going blue or pink or whatever colour over the weekend and natural through the week.
Best of luck, keep being your whacky self (within reason) and keep up with your tattoo design, but maybe save the announcement of your intended career choice until after graduation!
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