| A
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes: Hi everyone, I had posted a question a while back (My boyfriend has disappeared and I'm very worried.) After a about almost two months now I have moved forward but was still wondering what had happened I heard from him.I was looking at my emails and decided to just take a chance and say a simple "Hi......" He responded and claims that he was in a bad car accident and broke some bones. I didn't know what to say back I guess I wasn't expecting any response because he has been gone a while. I am dating and I don't know how I feel at this point. I was very upset about his disappearance. He also said that he has a new phone and had been trying to reach me but they were all locked in his old phone. He said that he hopes I'm still with him and want him. This was an LDR and we hadn't even met yet and he was getting pretty serious about us. Should I at least hear him out and talk to him? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (27 March 2014):
 You don't OWE him anything. Bear that in mind.
You are not his.... If you were he wouldn't have ignored you for 2 months, now would he?
A
female
reader, Ciar  +, writes (27 March 2014):
 Nope. I don't think you should talk to him and hear him out. In fact I think you shouldn't have even reached out to him after all this time.Assuming what he says is true, that he did have a car accident, did break some bones and that your phone number was locked up in another phone. He still had your email, yet you didn't hear from him until you contacted him.Even in the best case scenario, that everything he says is true and there was a logical reason for not hearing from him for two whole months, I still would not pick up right where I left off. If it were me, he'd have to court me all over again and I would be putting in half the effort I did the first time round.OP, you say you've moved on and you're now dating someone else and that's great, but the fact that you contacted him tells him you still want him and the new guy you're dating is disposable. That is bad PR for you and this new guy, and possibly false hope for the old one if you really have moved on. If this were me, I probably wouldn't say another word. I'd just block and delete him and never, ever speak to him again. You got your answers. There is reason to keep in touch.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 March 2014): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for more of your comments. It's weird because he was emailing me and knew that something was wrong. He asked me
if I was talking to another guy, and even said,"You're mine!"
It's really hard to go back when you have moved on. I wasn't
as excited to hear from him. I could see if it was only a
week and then suddenly get a phone call or a text but it's been almost 2 months.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (27 March 2014):
Wow, no. I would tell him I'm sorry but I moved on. I'm sorry you had an accident, lost your phone and so forth but when someone ignores me for THAT long, I have to assume they are no longer interested.
And then I would block him.
You e-mailed him back when his disappeared and he didn't react. But now, he reacted? My guess is he is currently not seeing someone else and you can fill his time.
You felt it was getting serious, yet you had never met?
I would focus on the guy who is there IN your life, not just behind some phone/computer.
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A
male
reader, methuselah  +, writes (27 March 2014):
Hi,
I totally agree with Aunty BimBim.
Please do not waste your time. For all you know, he could have been dating these past two months and then when that all finished, he has suddenly got interested in you again.
Do not waste any time. Delete and block him.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 March 2014): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYeah I am dating someone in person. That is the original question. I don't see how he could have lost my email. I
still have emails of people I lost contact with and they
sometimes send me one out of the blue.
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (27 March 2014):
 is this your original question?:
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/my-boyfriend-has-disappeared-and-i-am-very.html
Short answer to your question is NO
Long answer, two months of talking to somebody long distance and never having met face to face does not make adult people boyfriend and girlfriend.
Sure, sure, bad accident, broken phone no way to contact you, no other way to access your email address and I expect as you professed your love for him before he fell off the planet, he had enough information about you to be able to track you down if he did indeed return that love.
He is a liar, spinning you a line, if you want to fall for it, well do so, but if you are already dating other men (I hope these dates are in person and not via the telephone or text messages), then you should leave this one where he safely was, in the past.
Block his number and don't respond, he is not worth the effort.
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