A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:So I am with my boyfriend for over a year , and its your typical relationships with petty fights about jealousy and everything, but we do have a good relationship.Over the last few weeks, he has changed in some ways, like always saying before he picks me up 'are you going to be in a mood at all because if you are you are not staying over' or adding girls we met on nights out on facebook and talking to them without telling me, texting old girlfriends, so I have been quite a moan lately, and yes we have been arguing a bit much, in the last three weeks we have had a big fight every friday.We planned a holiday for a week since before Christmas, and the only time I can go is August. So it was just the two of us. Then he invited his friends which was ok because my two best friends are going out with two of his friends so we were all going. Next week the tickets are being booked, and today, he tells me that he does not want me to go, incase we fight and I ruin his whole holiday. He actually uninvited me to the holiday we planned. And now, our first holiday together he is going to be sending it with my two best friends. I am so angry and upset and frustrated with him, and he thinks I'm sad and looking for attention by acting hurt by this.He thinks I should be ok with this because he has always wanted to go to this place. I wanted travel and he doesn't so we compromised and said that we wouldn't pack up and leave to see the world but go to many places for holidays for a few years. So this holiday was going to be the first, and now I am not going, they also changed the date to a month before. Do I have a right to be so annoyed?I feel like I want to just leave him because he doesn't care about me, but I also want to find out if I am over reacting about this.Please help! I'm so confused and I don't know what to do anymore.Thank you
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 March 2014): An onion??? Yes that sure sums him up. This guy really is an onion. Time for the chop!
Get out as soon as you can. There are no winners staying.
A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465  +, writes (24 March 2014):
 Many guys do break-ups in a peculiar, indirect manner.... and that "sounds" like what your B/F is doing.....
In his head, the break-up has already occurred.... so he (believes) he doesn't need to even be nice to you... never mind that the holiday is cancelled for you... I assure you, he has already selected the lucky lady who WILL go on that holiday. Armed with this information, I hope you won't be too surprised or angry when you learn about "new G/F".....
Good luck...
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (24 March 2014):
 you feel like you want to leave him for good reason.
this relationship is not good... you two planned a trip and now he's opted to UNPLAN it and make a whole new trip with his friends.
part of being a couple is wanting to be together with or without your friends.. he's making it clear he does not want to be a couple... he's trying to get you to leave him by doing this. Accept he wants out and let him go.
fighting all the time is not normal or healthy. do not kid yourself that you have a good or loving relationship.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (24 March 2014):
 I read a quote somewhere yesterday and it fits your post.
If you spend more time crying in your relationship, make damn sure you are not dating an onion. Because the ONLY thing that should have you crying often is just that, AN ONION!
You have a really unhealthy relationship and you are LETTING your BF bully you so he can do as he wants. He doesn't care that adding random girls or talking to his exes upset you and he put the FULL blame for that on you. And you... JUST suck it up and say that you "moan". Really?
Screaming and petty fights is not NORMAL in a relationship, to be honest I have NEVER had any like that or HEARD of any like that who called it normal.
End the relationship for YOUR sake - screw the holiday right now. And ask you friends how they feel about YOU being excluded. The fact that your friends are OK with this change makes me wonder a little bit about the people you keep around as friends.
Don't SETTLE for a crappy relationship because you WANT to be in one.
As for travelling, keep saving and then find a travel buddy and GO the places YOU want to go.
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A
female
reader, sugarplum786  +, writes (24 March 2014):
 I hate to say that this but this relationship has run its course and its a matter of time before he ends things with you. He does not look forward to seeing you as all your'll do is fight and the fact that he wants to go alone on holiday.
You are screaming fighting begging and trying to change things and he is not interested.
Save your pride and end things and move on. If you don't, he will and you will feel worst, its time to let go a toxic relationship.
How do you feel knowing he will be off on holiday having fun and you alone dwelling in self pity? How do you feel when he does not call and bother to see you? Stop fighting and trying to hold onto a sinking ship. Set him free and move on. If he really loves you and want you, you and him will find a way to get together but don't end the relationship expecting a reconciliation. Look at it as a change and a change is good as a holiday.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (24 March 2014):
 Why do you think that a relationship made of petty fights about jealousy and everything ,and rows every Friday, is " typical " ?...It's not- it's a dysfunctional one. It's the union of two people who are not compatible and can't / don't want to make each other happy, they just won't admit it for various reasons. You surely have the right to feel " annoyed ", but feeling annoyed is eventually a waste of your time and energy. Which would be best employed into moving on and searching for a healthier relationship.
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A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (24 March 2014):
This sounds like a pretty lousy relationship to me. You guys are obviously incompatible which is why you're fighting all the time and are now apparently one step away from being broken up all together.
Let me ask you one simple question: are either of you happy?
If not why are you together?
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A
female
reader, Ciar  +, writes (24 March 2014):
 I'm not sure that 'annoyed' would be the word I'd use, but yes, you do have a right. However it seems kind of pointless in the face of the big picture here.
I think you're in denial. Typical relationships do not consist of frequent petty fights about jealousy or anything else. In a typical healthy relationship there are very few arguments.
In your case your boyfriend is looking for them before they happen and now he wants to exclude you from a group vacation with friends. That would be typical of a toxic relationship.
I say the end is near and the best thing you can do for yourself is bow out gracefully.
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (24 March 2014):
 PS, sorry, I logged back in to say, despite your assertion in your first sentence, you do NOT HAVE A GOOD RELATIONSHIP. Anybody in a good relationship would not be here outlining your relationship (A NOT GOOD RELATIONSHIP) as you have here.
Dump him!
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim +, writes (24 March 2014):
Hey, just pick up your handbag and walk, no talk, just walk.
What does this person deserve from you, I wouldn't even be bothering to talk to him, if the phone rings, don't answer, if he texts, don't respond, if he emails ignore, if he knocks on your door and you answer it, tell him you are busy.
Find somebody else to travel with, or take a tour specific to younger singles and just go.
Time to move on from this one, have a bit of a cry that it's over, but don't look back, one foot in front of the other, until moving forward with no regrets becomes second nature.
good luck!
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