A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Any one good at body language?? I think my boyfriend I had over a decade is trying to get me to dump him but I can't he started a fight today.. even during the fight he said I'm not breaking up with you, your gonna do it this time is what he said.. I asked him if he really wants to do that. He shaked his head with a tight lip smile.. I'm sad I don't want to, I seem to keep messing up. What does the head shake and closed mouth smile mean.. idk what to do. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 March 2014): Well he knows i wont do it. I never did... All our breakups about 3 total was him cause either he thought i did something i didn't do he came back everytime but are fights are cause of my fears. Yes the fights are my fault cause i cant trust he will stay.. He knows i cant live without him and i gots depression issues tho he dont believe in depression.. But i have to stop my fears and learn to not overreact...so if anyone can help me stop being scared. Oh and what can i do to keep him happy let me know please
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (29 March 2014):
 It sounds like you two are just hanging on out of familiarity, not love.
And I think you should talk to him not try and guess. HAVE an honest and ADULT conversation.
If he wants the relationship to be over, then he can break up with you as much as you can break up with him.
Time to stop this play group behavior.
IF you two want to stay together figure out what it will take and work on it otherwise you are BOTH wasting each others time and life.
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (29 March 2014):
 Your submittal conjures up the episode of "Seinfeld" wherein the characters discussed the "... it's not you; it's me..." excuse for breaking up. B/F really DOES want to break off with you.... BUT, in his mind, he can't perceive himself as the victim (hence, YOU, the bad guy) in that break-up UNLESS YOU MAKE THE "FINAL" MOVE.
So.... I suggest you give him what he "wants." Tell him:
"You're right, Hunchy-Bunchy, only I can trigger our break-up... and you are the innocent victim.... but, What the heck, let's do so - break up - anyway. See you later."
Good luck to you...
P.S. Body language can be SO revealing. Do you remember when Condi Rice testified before a Congressional committee that "We knew that Iraq had WMDs..."... all the while shaking her head "no"???
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A
female
reader, Dorothy Dix  +, writes (29 March 2014):
Hi there. It sounds like he is very angry and rather fed up.
A smile over tight lips, is a grimace.
Frustration, and not really happy.
It's happened more than once, before now.
Is this an "on again off again" type of relationship?
And by this, I mean are you always breaking up and then making up after a few days or weeks?
And if so, do you always break up over the very same thing each time?
Ten years is a long time to be together for, and so if it was going to get serious - happily every after (marriage) - it would have done so, within the first 2 years at the very least.
And as this doesn't seem to have happened, well then I am wondering what it is you want from this relationship now.
If you haven't given it any real consideration, I really think now would be a great time to do this.
You need to think about where you see the relationship going, whether you see yourself wanting to spend the rest of your life with him - or not.
And what is it you want from him?
Generally speaking, does he make you happy?
Do you want more than he can actually give you?
Have your ever openly discussed the future, or even casually talked about it?
Perhaps you both want very different things, and so this is what needs to be clarified - before too much more time passes.
You don't want to go on for another 10 years, and still be in the same emotional place you are now, do you?
What I am saying here, is that you really want to know exactly where you stand with each other.
Most people in a relationship want to know that, and where the relationship is heading - if it is going anywhere at all, that is.
It seems you both may have come to a crossroads in your relationship, where you both need to make a decision.
And if he is leaving this process up to you entirely, well then that in itself kind of says something too, don't you think?
If he WILL NOT make any decision on what to do, well then for something - or ANYTHING - to happen, it's going to be up to you to make a choice.
You need to think about how you really feel about him, and whether you think that he feels the same way about you.
You both need to tell each other about how you feel - and be totally honest about it.
If you start first, and tell him how you feel about him, well then he will be open with you about his feelings.
If you have never done this, now might be a good time.
Sometimes, a lot of things get left unsaid.
And this leaves each person wondering, how the other person feels about them.
And especially, if neither of you is particularly expressive with your words when it comes to your feelings towards someone special.
It's no good to leave someone guessing for too long.
What happens then, is the person who is unsure of how the other feels, may interpret that as complete disinterest, and that they just don't care at all.
And then they start to look for love elsewhere.
And I am saying this, because you haven't said how you feel about this man, so I can only guess.
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim +, writes (29 March 2014):
 Sweet heart, listen to me, having a man, any man, in your life is often worse than having no man at all in it.
Ask yourself, how does this man add to the quality of your life, does the thought and sight of him fill you with happiness? Is he there for you, through thick and thin?
He is taunting you because he believes you wont do anything about it, and that you will accept any shit he throws your way.
Well, prove him wrong, dump his sorry ass and start working on building a life without him in it. I guarantee it will be less stressful and much more healthy for you.
Go, on, have some faith in yourself and take a leap into your future, a future without him in it!
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A
female
reader, BriBri +, writes (29 March 2014):
I think the best thing for you to do is ask him. You got to communicate with him before you can really know. And if he really said that I would've just done it right then and there, because it sounds like he just doesn't care if you do it, which most likely means he must not have such strong feelings about you like you think he does. I know it must be making you question a lot of things right now. So you should really just try talking to him at this point.
p.s. he sounds like a jerk anyways... no offense
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