A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Me and my boyfriend have been together for 6 months. I've been in several relationships before but I am his first girlfriend, his first kiss, and he says I'm the first and only girl he's ever loved. Even though I've had many boyfriends before, he really is the first guy I've ever been able to see myself having a future with. He is so kind to me, his family, and his friends. He makes me laugh so much, we are always laughing and teasing eachother. We argue sometimes but it's always resolved quickly. He never pressures me into anything. He is very loyal to me and doesn't flirt with other girls, and girls have hit on him and every single time he tells them straight-up that he has a girlfriend that he loves. But I can't shake the fear that one day he will get bored of me, bored of being with the same girl all this time, and will leave me or talk to other girls...I brought this up to him once and he just held me and told me that he'll never get bored of me but even with him telling me that, I almost feel like it's inevitable that he'll get tired of me one day. I'm not really worried about ME getting bored with HIM...I love him so much I sometimes feel like he could be my soulmate (sounds silly but it's how I feel) and even if I did start to feel bored i would just work through it because he is worth it to me. Maybe it's just my insecurities. But I'm terrified of him eventually getting tired of me and leaving. I try to spend time with my own friends, spend time apart from him once in a while and pursue my own interests. I try to keep my own identity because I know that if I become too dependent on him, it will crush me if he leaves me. And I often hear that a man won't get bored if his girl has her own life and does her own thing outside of the relationship. Is this true? Also, will spending a few days apart without texting too much help keep him from getting bored? Any other advice to keep from worrying so much about this? Thank you very much :(
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female
reader, Anonymous 123  +, writes (27 November 2013):
 Why would he get bored with you? Get these unfounded fears out of your head and just enjoy your relationship with what sounds like a wonderful guy!
Don't ruin what you have, don't think so much...just go with the flow. Texting, not texting, spending time together or apart....none of this matters eventually because if you are happy and meant to be together, then you don't really have to "plan" anything. If he loves you and you love him then you wont be able to get enough of each other and everything will just happen naturally. Of course you should have your own identity and spend time with your friends and do your own thing....but enjoy being the girlfriend and cherish the relationship.
All the best!!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 November 2013): Insecurities kill relationships.When you have something good, you concentrate on what you have and how good it is. You feel blessed and grateful.You are over-thinking and worrying about "what could happen." You should enjoy things, one day at a time. Just as they are. Cross that bridge when you get to it.Fear is being afraid of what hasn't happened yet. Foolishness is letting fear take control.The problem with insecurity is, the very person you love becomes a victim of it. You keep them constantly reassuring you. Telling you over and over that everything is okay. It starts to become a burden on their shoulders. That isn't fair.He will not get bored with you. He will get tired of trying to convince you to trust him. He will get tired of you acting like a little girl, when you should be behaving like a woman. He will get tired of showing you how he feels about you, and you acting as though he isn't being real about it. He will get flustered with your insecurities; because they will become a chore to deal with. He will not get bored, he will get frustrated. That's worse.What happened in your past relationships is done and over with. If this guy has to deal with all your baggage; then maybe you just aren't ready for someone who wants to be good to you. He already trusts you. If he does get bored, then he was just looking for a good-time. Not a genuine relationship. Relationships include the good-times, bad-times, fun-times, and boring-times. You stick them out together. You've already made it through the first six months. Concentrate on the present. You're too scared of the future. It hasn't even gotten here yet, and you're already wasting energy on it.You do deserve him you know? No matter what any guy ever told you. You deserve to be loved by someone who is good.He is human. Don't put him up on a pedestal. Keep him at eye level. Who's to say he can't bore you? That goes both ways in a relationship.We go through a few rough relationships for trial purposes. Just so we learn how to keep a relationship going. Then, when the right one comes along, we're better at it. Sometimes we hit the jackpot on the first try.With each previous trial relationship, we learn something new about people and ourselves. Put your experience to good use, young lady. It sounds like you got a good one; but he's lucky too. He knows it. Keep your expectations on "moderate." He may be new at it, but he's smart enough to know when he has a good thing. You're going to sabotage this relationship with doubt and insecurity. He deserves better than that. He's putting his heart into it. This is new for you too. A change of heart can happen to either of you. That's the risk HE takes.You can't be new and sparkly forever. New is only temporary.It wears off. Don't put undue pressure on yourself. Relax.Shake it off and get a grip. Don't sit around wondering when it will end. It has only been six months for crying out loud! Things naturally level off. Get warm and cozy and go with the flow. Workout the bumps. Get to know him, and let him get to know you. If he decides he wants out someday, that will not be the end of the world. You are very very young. You've got a plenty of time to find someone else.Get out of your head. You deserve to have this nice guy. The honeymoon stage will level off no matter who you're with. It won't always be fun and giggles. There are fights, tears, laughs, and making-up. Handle things as they come to you. Appreciate it for as long as it lasts. Being a first is a lot of pressure. Just focus on the present.Show him what a good girlfriend is, and teach him what a good boyfriend ought to be. There is a reason you met.If you want to worry about something; worry about over-thinking things.No worries! Keep it light and easy.
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A
female
reader, emily218 +, writes (27 November 2013):
I think you need to stop worrying so much! I've been with my boyfriend for a while and sometimes things do get a little "boring". We are in a long distance relationship and sometimes you just run out of things to say, but that's not always a bad thing.
I would stay don't focus so much on him getting bored of you, instead live in the moment, make memories and be yourself! If he says that he won't get bored of you, than trust him. Don't let it become a barrier in the relationship, I think that can often times be unattractive. Good luck!
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