A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Last year a girl joined my college course and straight away I fell for her. We became friends and then I asked her out at the end of the year and she turned me down. After that nothing changed, we were still friends although she did move into the same apartment block as me./ Fast forward 8 months later, we didn't see much of each other because we took different modules on our course. We still texted occasionally but I got the feeling she was avoiding me - there were two instances where I tried to catch up with her and she made excuses and we went on a trip abroad and she didn't speak to me. Anyway the last day of college, I asked her if she was avoiding me and she got defensive saying no, then accused me of giving her a dirty look in college and said I was worse than a girl. Also I'm sure she has a boyfriend and they've slept together, not sure if that's maybe why? Anyway, she left two days later and she didn't text me a goodbye or come and see me before she left like she's done in the past - haven't seen or heard from her since. The fact is I have feelings for her still and I can't be her friend because it's just too hard for me - just when I think I'm over her, she messages me or I see her, and it all comes back. The way we left things is fine with me because it means she won't get in touch and vice versa. But if she initiates it do I make peace with her or just ignore her? As harsh as this sounds I don't want or need her in my life anymore I just want to move forward and get over her. I know it's a long post but please any advice would be appreciated.
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has a boyfriend, move on, she has a boyfriend, text Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Anonymous 123  +, writes (13 May 2014):
 Just ignore her. She doesn't exist for you and if you keep thinking about insignificant people like her then you can never move on in life.
A
female
reader, Daisy_Daisy +, writes (12 May 2014):
 There's a lot to be said for making peace, but you might not be in that frame of mind for a while. Don't make peace if you don't really mean it. While you still have feelings for her, I think it's better to ignore any messages from her. Do whatever feels right for you.
If you have a phone that can block numbers, maybe take matters into your own hands and block her. That way you don't need the background worry of getting an unwanted and unsettling text from her.
All the best.
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A
male
reader, CMMP  +, writes (12 May 2014):
Ignore her as she has done to you. Whatever you wanted is over, and she doesn't even want friendship.
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A
male
reader, Hnk +, writes (12 May 2014):
 I will tell you from experience! I have come across few of such women and it would always leave you hurt while they would carry on with life like nothing happened!Such girls aren't worth the time and trouble.They just want some attention and maybe spend sometime with you when they can't spend with anyone else!Ignore her and erase her from your life! For argument sake, even if she seems the perfect one.....bla bla...... You can't be with someone who doesn't seem the same way about you. Friendship and relationships are MUTUAL.IGNORE TILL YOU ARE OVER HER AND then who cares !
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (12 May 2014):
 Yep, it is OK to ignore her.
IF it will make it easier (long term) then I would JUST tell her (if she initiate contact) that you think it's best not to continue the friendship. And leave it at that. YOU do not OWE her a long or emotional explanation.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 May 2014): If you want to move on, there is no reason to text her whatsoever.
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A
female
reader, Ciar  +, writes (12 May 2014):
 Given the way things ended, you're fine to ignore any future correspondence from her. In fact it might be a wise idea if your feelings for her, by then, haven't abated to the point that you can have a simple 'good bye' conversation without resuming the 'friendship'.
Review the facts if and when it happens and make a decision, but I'd say ignoring them is ok. Responding is fine too is you're able to be business like with her.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 May 2014): You sound a lot like a guy friend who really used to like me. I turned him down and he began to try initiating convos with me and being friendly. I reciprocated but ever so often he would snap and then it became evident that he wasn't over me and was forcing himself to just be my friend, which was too much for him to handle. So he began to hate me. He hated me so much that he blackmailed me and began harassing me. Don't let it come to anger and resentment. Just block her now and never speak to her again. It'll only do you harm to keep thinking about this.
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