A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Dear Cupid, I having problems trusting my boyfriend who I've been dating for 6 months. He's my first boyfriend and he says he loves me deeply but I find it hard to believe him because of some of the things I have discovered on his phone whilst just playing around. I have found:Pictures of a girl's breasts (not a pornstar) sent from WhatsappPicture of another girl (maybe the same girl)Old Messages from his ex which are very sexualHe has also kept old messages of their fights Recent messages between them where she mentions me and how heartbroken she is to hear that he has another girlfriend and that she can't get over himFiles dedicated to her on his phone and laptopThey broke up last summer and she mentions that she knew that he had messed around with a few girls after they split up (this is before he met me)Also found him logged as someone else on his Facebook advertising that he was single. He's an international student from Botswana and I know he can't be sneaking off behind me because we're always together here at university. Summer is almost here and I'm scared that once he gets back home he's going to find a girl to keep him company.. We haven't had sex and I'm scared he's going to get it from somewhere else. Should I confront him about this and how?Thanks in advance
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (2 June 2014):
 I'm with Honeypie... nothing to confront.
you know he's not trustworthy...
and he's leaving.
two things.. DO NOT sleep with him.. it wont' make him remember you better or love you more or be faithful to you.
and do not pretend to try to make it work once he moves home.
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (1 June 2014):
 Would I confront him? No, I'd dump him.
He isn't over his ex (and she isn't over him despite that he cheated on her).
YOU don't trust him (and for good reason) and THAT is what made you snoop. You know what though? Snooping only makes YOU feel crazy and hurt. HE isn't going to care how it looks to you. He will most likely be more mad that 1. he got "caught" and 2. that you snooped.
He will be going home soon, so I'd say goodbye now.
I honestly, think you are his rebound or intermission GF someone to entertain him, to give him attention and affection til he goes home.
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A
female
reader, Anonymous 123  +, writes (1 June 2014):
 He's sneaky, a cheat and a liar. You don't trust him and you have enough evidence not to. Just dump him immediately.
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A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (1 June 2014):
You're having a hard time trusting him because he's not trustworthy. If the only thing keeping him from having sex with someone else is you standing next to him, is that really the guy you want to be with?
You can't "talk about it". It's a character flaw and unless you confront him and deal with the problem, you'll never trust him and he'll never be trustworthy. The problem may be a number of things: he can't only be with one woman, he's insecure, he's not over his ex, etc.
How do you confront him? Admit you were snooping and tell him what you found. If he wants to talk about the snooping (which is a violation of trust as well) then you can talk about it after you talk about him cheating.
There's no magic way to admit you were snooping so just do it.
If you can't get any answers about why this happened then you might as well break up because if you don't fix it it'll happen again.
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