A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:What does it mean when an ex says to you 'I was hurting for so long that after a while I became numb to the pain? - This was in reference to a conversation about our break up just before christmas, it was awful since I was in a bad place and didn't go about it the right way, the things I said and did I still regret to this day, especially since she was the nicest girl I've known, she didn't deserve it.I've been thinking it over for a few days and I still can't figure out what does she mean by that, can anybody help me out please?
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male
reader, RevMick  +, writes (6 May 2014):
 Hi,
There comes a point when someone or something hurts you so badly that you begin not to see the pain anymore. It becomes normal.
I was counseling a teenager a few years ago, her boyfriend used to beat her, her father had abused her and she got so used to the cycle that when she was with a nice boy, she got a kind of Stockholm syndrome and began self hurting to give her the pain she associated with a normal life.
A
male
reader, Mark1978 +, writes (6 May 2014):
 Its when a person is hurt so much, so often to the point where it becomes "normal" to them. Or even see a day when that pain is a little less than usual as being "happy".
To be honest if it needs explaining, especially as you were in the relationship with her, then I think you are maybe quite blind to her feelings?
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A
female
reader, Anonymous 123  +, writes (6 May 2014):
 It means that she was so deeply hurt that she had internalized the pain and it had become a part of who she was, that she had never been so badly hurt before and she felt that nothing could hurt her more.
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A
male
reader, Xearo  +, writes (6 May 2014):
Sounds like you caused her a lot of pain and she got used to it to the point where she expected only such. If she didn't deserve it then I assume you were a bully to her. I am not sure what else to say as I thought her message was straight forward, but it does help to reflect.
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