A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi everyone! I would like some opinions on this!Me and my boyfriend have been together for five years, we did take a 7 week break over the Christmas period due to personal issues. In that 7 week period I was introduced to a friend of a friend, she seemed nice and came on a night out with us girls. After a few drinks she admitted to me that she thought that my boyfriend/ex boyfriend whatever we were at that time was gorgeous. I didn't say anything as I didn't know where the relationship was at this time. Me and my boyfriend rekindled and have been back together now for 8/9 months. He also knows of this girl due to her being the manager of a clothing store his best friend works at. He's been on around 2 nights out with her attending (with many other people). He did tell me that on our break she had messaged him on Facebook just general conversation to which he hadn't replied. Since me and my boyfriend have got back together apparently she has told mutual friends that she dislikes me. I've always put this down to jealousy as everybody knows she has a soft spot for my boyfriend. Last Saturday night my boyfriend was going on a night out for his friends birthday (the friend that works at her clothing store) she was invited and I new she would be attending. At the last minute my boyfriend decided to drive and not consume alcohol as we had made plans for the Sunday. On the Sunday he told me she was there but didn't mention anything out of the ordinary. However, last night she private messaged my boyfriend saying this'My friend just told me about what happened last week, sorry for being a pyscho bitch'. I was with my boyfriend when he received the message and obviously asked what she was on about. He hasn't mentioned she had done anything. He said that she was very very drunk, she was a total mess and was just acting like a nuisance. He said she hadn't done anything to him personally and he wasn't sure why she was saying she was a 'psycho bitch'. I didn't believe him, it felt like something suspicious was happening. So he replied to her saying 'what lol?' In the meantime I questioned my boyfriend on this several times and it ended up causing an argument between us. He lost his temper saying he had told me what had happened and that there was nothing more to say. During the arguement she replied saying 'for being drunk'. I apologised then for questioning my boyfriend as this is what he had said, she was very drunk. We moved on from it but the next day when I mentioned it again saying it seemed suspicious he lost his cool again and said we had been through this already. I guess I want your opinions on this. Why would somebody say 'I've been told what happened, sorry for being a pyscho bitch'. If nothing actually had happened and all they had done was be a bit too drunk? I don't think my boyfriend has done anything, as if he had why would she be apologising to him for her actions. My boyfriend didn't drink and he rang me once he had gotten home. What I don't understand is why she only apologised to my boyfriend as well, and when he asked her what she meant she said for being drunk. Why did she simply not just apologise for being drunk?It seems very fishy to me. My gut instinct is saying that something is being covered up from me. Like I said, if my boyfriend had acted wrongly that I don't think she would be apologising to him. If he had given her mixed signals she would be messaging asking him about those not apologising for her actions. I feel like she might of 'tried' something on with him, bad mouthed me to him, or something along those lines to which he is now covering for her to keep the peace. Something that was out of order clearly happened for her to feel like she should apologise. I don't understand why my boyfriend is covering for her, the only reason I can think of is that he doesn't want to stir things and an argument erupt. Why is he getting so angry when I bring it up as well?
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best friend, christmas, drunk, facebook, got back together, jealous, period Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Vianneeey  +, writes (17 September 2014):
Wow. Look at those hatred answers from the guys.
1. What is relationship without trust? If you can't trust him, just end it.
2. If you brave enough, confront the girl. Just be prepared of she gonna say. You have to have your options ready before you ask her.
3. Follow your guts. Based on my experience, it never lies. I've been cheated on twice & one time a guy tried to cheat on his gf of 5yrs with me. And I did have feelings about these way before I found out.
4. Seems like you're on and off with your boyfriend quite a lot. And to be honest, it's not a good sign of a good relationship. I think you should have a word with yourself if you see any future with him or if you can trust him 100%. If you can't, better end it once and for all
A
female
reader, jls022 +, writes (16 September 2014):
I think it's a simple case of her trying to keep the lines of communication open with him. She is 'apologising' over something that wasn't a big deal as it gives her an excuse to send him a message. It doesn't sound as though your boyfriend did anything wrong and he is getting annoyed because you are acting like you don't trust him. Don't give her the satisfaction of driving a wedge between you both - that's exactly what she wants.
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A
female
reader, llifton  +, writes (16 September 2014):
 I think you're thinking way too much into this and making a big deal out of nothing. Whatever happened, the girl was just being a pain in the ass. Your boyfriend doesn't seem to give two shits about her and just thinks she's annoying. So why cause a fight over a girl who literally doesn't matter at all and makes a fool of herself?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 September 2014): I think what she meant by that is that she got drunk, acted a fool in front of your boyfriend cause she has the hots for him and has absolutely no dignity, is pretending she does not "remember" what happened, and so claims that a friend supposedly refreshed her memory about her foolishness and is apologizing to your boyfriend in order to redeem herself. This girl is going to great lengths, even making an ass of herself, to get your boyfriends attention. And it seems pretty clear he has no interest in her and he loves YOU. If he did she wouldn't be trying so desperately to get his attention. This girl sounds like a moron. Your boyfriend is probably offended because he knows she is a pathetic moron and it makes him feel bad that you would think for a second that he would go for that dog. If I were you I would get dolled up, ask your boyfriend to take you shopping, go to her store, be playful and make out with him right in front of her and let her watch him drop some cash on you. That is if you really want to get under her skin. Otherwise, don't let this heinous farm animal with no respect for other people's relationships, ruin your relationship with him.
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A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (16 September 2014):
It appears you won't leave him alone when he already told you what happened. Why do you think he's getting mad at you?
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (16 September 2014):
 If you keep harping on this he may just figure that if he gets accused of something that never happened, he'll make it happen. Listen to the Aunts and Uncles, time to back off chickie.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 September 2014): Your childish and suspicious behavior is what angers your boyfriend. Your persistence and accusatory implication that you know something like you witnessed something he did, is what pisses him off.
In a nutshell you summed-up what is wrong with your relationship. Lack of trust and insecurity.
You got proof. and still insisted there is something wrong and he did something. You are causing tension by insisting he has done something wrong; and is covering up for her, because you can't control your jealousy and behave like a rational adult.
Keep it up. That's exactly how you'll end your relationship.
I usually have plenty to say. In this case. This is all I'm going to say.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (16 September 2014):
 He gets angry because he can read between the lines. He knows you are questioning him, because you think something happened and you don't fully trust him. I don't think he is covering for her. I think he believes whatever she did wasn't a big deal, it was just a chick being drunk. And I think he gets angry because you KEEP bringing it up.
She texted him, because she doesn't want HIM (or anyone else) to think she is a drama-bitch and... I think because she wants attention. Any attention from ANYONE.
My question is why weren't you there? Were you not invited or couldn't go?
Did your what ever issue caused the "break" get resolved? Or did you two sort of decide to ignore it and move on? Was cheating or insecurities an issue before?
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (16 September 2014): leave it, trust me if your boyfriend had done anything wrong he wouldn't have replied 'for what?" LEAVE IT or he will LEAVE You as when you start picking at your boyfriend for stuff he hasn't done he will get tired. So stop, if you really have a problem then message her.
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A
female
reader, Anonymous 123  +, writes (16 September 2014):
 Whoa whoa whoa...slow down there!! I know your mind is racing at 500 miles an hour and you're thinking of every possible scenario that "could" have happened when in reality, from what you've written, it seems that nothing has.
Your boyfriend has no feelings for her but she definitely has a soft spot for him. Here's what happened most likely. She got drunk and created a nuisance in the presence of your boyfriend and the others and the reason that she's personally apologizing to your B/f is because she has a soft corner for him and doesn't want him to think badly of her.
Now coming to you OP. If your boyfriend tells you that nothing happened than nothing happened. Do you really not have any trust in him? Why is it so hard for you to believe him? Stop with suspicions or you'll just drive the guy away!
The reason he's getting pissed at you is because you keep pushing him to tell you something that never happened and you dont believe what he's saying. It's enough to make anyone mad. He's probably not even thinking of her but you're the one who keeps bringing her up again and again. Why give her all that importance OP? Who the hell IS she anyway? Why let such an insignificant person come between you and your B/f? Stop wasting your time on her and focus on what YOU have with your boyfriend. You're making a mountain out of nothing really, there's not even a molehill in sight!
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