A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:How do you deal with half-siblings who don't want you in their life?I grew up an only child. I have 3 half-siblings on my dad's side.For 7 years I've been trying to reconnect with them. They haven't seemed very interested. We've corresponded through facebook during all this time. A few sentences a year maybe. I met the younger two (they have the same mom) once and then they ignored every event I invited them to after that. Once of them deleted me off facebook and stopped writing me. The one older than me (with another mother) I talk to every now and again. She often ignored my emails and won't call me. She didn't reply to my wedding invitation and didn't show up (The younger two at least had the courtesy to say no). I finally gave up on her almsot a year ago but out of the blue she started talking to me. She needed money for a legal problem. She said she wanted to be closer but hasn't talked to me since then. The three of them have in the last year been meeting and doing family activities together. I've never been invited to anything. I'm happy for them but at the same time jealous/sad that they don't want me to be included.At this point we are all adults. I've always wanted siblings. But after 7 years I don't think it's going to happen. It's just painful to see photos of them together. To hear their mother treating the older sibling like another daughter. I don't understand why they aren't interested in me.Would it be going too far to just delete them all off my facebook? Do I owe them an explanation before I delete them? One of them has already deleted me (and it hurt when I saw it). I've given up on us being siblings or even friends or anything to each other. Any advice?
View related questions:
facebook, jealous, money, wedding Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Amiye  +, writes (9 September 2014):
This isn't good at all and I can understand your feelings of anger and upset. There is however only so much you can do to make an effort, it seems they are leading their own lives and think you should also do the same, if you feel an explanation is needed then speak with them and if not don't. Do what is best for you.
A
male
reader, Mark1978 +, writes (8 September 2014):
 You don't owe them jack shit. Ditch them. They have done that to you - blanked you, deleted you, so why waste your time.
Having siblings is over rated. Just ask my brother!
Mark
...............................
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (8 September 2014):
 go ahead and unfriend them on facebook it's possible they won't even notice.
I'm so sorry your half sibs did not take to you.
my full sibling brother and i rarely talk or see each other.
Make your family with your friends.. that's what lots of us do.
...............................
A
female
reader, Anonymous 123  +, writes (8 September 2014):
 Cerberus has a point and that's certainly the mature way of dealing with things. However, I wouldn't bother keeping them in my life or on Facebook. They clearly don't care about you and frankly, they don't seem like very nice people so its not that you'll be losing anything. I hope you haven't lent any money to the one who tried asking you for it. You tried your best, you tried being nice to them, you did more than what most people would have. Its not working. Forget them, delete them, move on.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 September 2014): Just hide them from your newsfeed. No reason to delete them.
OP it may just be their youth, or they're lazy etc. I see no reason to completely remove them from your life when perhaps as they mature things may end up being different.
But you should stop trying with them, for now they're not really interested and you can't make people want to form a bond.
So just let them go, but don't shut the door completely either. Just move on with your life and forget about them.
Don't be a sucker either though, I hope you didn't lend them money or get duped by that. Frankly they don't sound like the best kind of people anyway.
So just let them go and move on, maybe in 5/10 years they'll grow up or find a place in their life for you, just don't hold your breath, and don't hang around waiting for them to do that. Forget them and move on.
...............................
A
male
reader, Forge +, writes (8 September 2014):
 Seems like they just don't care to have you in their life. (Don't take that in a rude way)If you invite them, and they don't respond, they don't care. If they aren't inviting you, they don't care.Siblings are weird. I have 3 half siblings, and I am close with them because I grew up with them for most, if not almost all, of my life. If you didn't grow up with them, they probably don't view you as a prioritized person. They look at you as a friend that they used to know for a little while.As for the sibling that needed money and wanted to reconnect, I hope you would have put 2 and 2 together. They just want money. That's it. That's how people work.Don't worry about deleting them. Of they delete you, then so be it. 7 years is a while to be away from somebody.-Førg€
...............................
|
