A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I've known this girl Aimée for about 3 months. Met her at work and she's really nice, seems genuine, she's not judgemental or anything like that. She seems like she'd be a good friend. Here's the catch though, we were talking about our families and she said she had 3 brothers and a sister. Nothing odd there until I went to her family's house one day after work because she was going to drop me off and we go past it and she needed to grab some money or something because her mum had texted during the day asking her to get shopping on her way home. Still nothing strange, until I only saw one brother and sister. I asked her if the others were older and had moved out or younger and were at a babysitter and she said no. She introduced me to her cat and her dog (I think she said they were 13 and 5 years old respectively) and said "my brothers Joey and Scout" with a smile across her face. I mean, she's 26, so it strikes me as a bit loony. I asked her why she says she has 3 brothers when she only has one and she simply replied "Joey and Scout were there for me like brothers when most of my own family were not" like it was natural. I know she's been through a lot in her life and has struggled with selfharm because she was bullied really badly growing up including having a couple of small scars where they hurt her, but like I said earlier she's 26 now, not 5 and I guess my question is should she grow out of this? Is it something to grow out of? Am I overreacting by thinking it's kind of messed up? I mean, pets are family to some people, but to give them titles like "brother" would be like saying "cousin" or "mother" wouldn't it? Would you distance yourself a bit? Is it a mental health instability that I should be wary of if I do become friends with her?
View related questions:
at work, bullied, money, moved out, text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 September 2014): I think of my pets like my children but I always mention they're 'LIKE kids to me', I would feel weird saying I actually have kids and then introducing a guy to my pets instead though :P
It's probably just a quirky joke she's telling to people, but also a way of stating how much her pets mean to her.
I think it's highly unlikely that she thinks her pets are really biologically her brothers, it's just an odd choice of wording.
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (4 September 2014):
 I think waiting to spring it on you while you are there is a bit odd but to call them brothers seems ok.
My pets were always my fur babies. I was MOMMY to them.
My son and his fiancee just got a cat. My sentiments "I have a grand kitty now" and all my friends congratulated me.
...............................
A
female
reader, mystiquek +, writes (4 September 2014):
 I have been an animal lover my whole life, my favorite is cats. There is a special bond that is formed between animals and pet owners, ask anyone who loves their pet. I jokingly call my cats my "babies" and my "Kids". My son and daughter always teased that I treated the cats better than them..lol. Yes, because the cats just want love..not money, not the car keys...Just joking..
I think its a little strange that she calls the dogs her brothers, but it could just be her sense of humor as others have said.
Animals know when their owner is upset/distraught..I have had my cats come curl up beside me and not leave my side when I have been down, just lying there purring..comforting me in the only way they knew how. I've had my cat howl and cry because they've seen me crying. It has always touched me how they knew that I needed comfort. I think that is what your friend has been through..her dogs were there for her, perhaps when no one else was.
Unless she really is freaky and weird and talks non stop about her dogs, I don't think she's crazy. Different perhaps.
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (4 September 2014): I'm noat going to lie, I do find it weird even if she's been through a lot I wouldn't tell someone I had brothers if they were dogs, even if I loved them loads.
...............................
A
female
reader, Anonymous 123  +, writes (4 September 2014):
 I don't know...I don't think I would call this crazy at all. If you love animals and treat them like family, then they DO become family. Its hard to explain and put it in words but its something that you have to feel to understand.
I was extremely attached to my Dalmatian of 10 years. Losing her was in a way worse than losing family, if I may even put it that way. As strange as it sounds, when my grandma passed away, we almost knew that it was inevitable and she was suffering and we came to terms with it. But when the dalmatian passed away, I don't think anyone in the family really could accept it. I still cant talk about her without tears gleaming in my eyes. I don't think I would call her my sister but its something that cannot be defined and labelled.
Your girlfriend has been abused and bullied and she sees animals as more of family than her actual family. That's the thing about animals OP, they love you unconditionally and that is the kind of love which you have to experience to know. Your girlfriend must be a very sensitive girl to actually love her pets so much that she refers to them as her siblings. In today's fast-paced, material world, most people dont have the time or even the understanding of such feelings towards animals. Its easy to dismiss this as crazy or loony but look at it from her perspective and maybe you'll see what she means.
...............................
A
female
reader, TasteofIndia +, writes (4 September 2014):
 I agree with Honeypie - I see this as just her making light of the fact that animals are like family. I don't know if you've lost a pet, but it can feel like a best friend or a sibling has passed. It hurts. It's a very painful experience. That stems from pets being there for you when seemingly, nobody else has. So she's nicknamed them. So she loves them. I don't see that as an off-putting, freaky quality. I see that as kind of charming. They are a "band of brothers", and a happy few indeed.
Like Honeypie says, if she's constantly talking about them, and treating them as humans 24/7, in everyday conversation, as if they were truly her biological brothers - then perhaps she is quirkier than normal, and maybe even a little weird. Perhaps your concern is not entirely in vain.
I, for one, am quite close with my dog. I don't know if I'd call her my sister... I don't quite have words for our relationship. But it's beyond basic friendship and seems more unconditional than most human relationships I have. I love my friends, but my dog never judges me, never gives me the vibes that I am an oddball, and constantly treats me as the best person this universe has to offer. If this girl has been bullied and hated, then I can understand why she's be so attached to the critters that have loved her despite of "flaws" or "eccentricities" or whatever she had that set her apart from a crowd that chose to shun and make fun of her.
Take this for what you will - but I think it offers a little insight. A companion for 13 years - that's more than most people friendships, and definitely more than most Hollywood marriages.
Good luck!
...............................
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (4 September 2014):
 I think it's HER sense of humor and "love" for her pets. I don't think it's mental illness.
Now if she TALKED about them constantly like THEY really were brothers it would be another matter. I DO agree it's a little odd, but I think it's just who she is.
I say (but only in jest) that I have 3x 2 legged and 5x 4 legged kids.
...............................
A
male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (4 September 2014):
 looney wouldn't be my word of choice, more like bltzo -friggy- crazy. Yeah, you might want to duck this one unless you want to share a straight jacket with her in phscho-ville.
...............................
A
female
reader, Brokenv  +, writes (4 September 2014):
That is weird.....it is cute at like the age of 5! not 26!
...............................
|
