A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Dear All,I'm in a serious predicament. Please help...I'll make my story as short as possible.I fell in love with a girl, who I started dating after a few months.. Not knowing she had just broken off with someone whom she had serious feelings for. Ended up betraying my trust, texting him, seeing him, who knows what else behind my back.Then we broke things off. She ended up in his arms again. I remained her friend. Afraid to lose her. Remained in contact, never dated anyone else. We dated for 6 months at first. Then I remained her friend for about a year and half. Quite a long time I know. Broke up with him at some point, dated others as well. I was there nonetheless. We had flings together here and there. Nothing serious or permanent. Eventually we started dating again. But barely lasted two months. Excuse was she needed time to think and what not. She opened up to other men, texts and all. She shut me out, But didn't date anyone. She was set to leave the country for a job opening. However, I asked her before she left if she had been opening up to others emotionally, and she lied,while I was sure of the answer. Then she cursed me out for questioning her and stopped talking to me. I decided to just move on, although despite all I loved her, but I had to. Met up with a high school crush of mine. Hit things off beautifully. She's honest, beautiful, warm, all the things guys can look for...Then out of the blue, my ex, started texting me again, apologising, asking for me to take her back. I'm refusing of course, but she's insisting that she's in a better place and wants to take things seriously now... I don't know what to do. I feel like if I continue with my present girl, I'll end up in marriage, and all that.. But my heart still belongs to my ex. She's cheated on me, lied, left me twice, been with other men, she's 6 years my senior, different religious background. But despite it all, I love her.. Can anyone shed some light on this, maybe I'm not seeing something.What can I do? I can barely sleep.Thank you for reading..
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (4 September 2014): Dear All,Thank you for taking the time to post.. I appreciate all your answers..I have to clarify something.. Is that I do care a lot for my present girl, she is all I can ask for. And I know that things will end in marriage for us. Not because of obligations, but because I have a clean and pure history with her, she's truly great.. However, I don't think anyone can rebound from a three year relationship with anyone just like that. Good or bad.. I've been out of contact with my ex for a few months.. I was starting to clear my head of things, getting ready to move forward. And then she started apologizing, she's never apologized like this. Sending me tons of texts, pouring her heart out. As I've mentioned, I've rejected them all, but she keeps coming back insisting that she's sincere, asking for a chance.. I doubt I would leave my current for someone who's trashed me about.. But I do wonder if someone like that can rebound and get things straight in a matter of a few months. Especially if they're that mature already... It's a tough place to be. Move forward and start a new, pure relationship based on trust, with the "perfect" girl.. Or go back to a relationship that was based on lies, deciet and a lot of undesirable issues.. I know i sound idiotic comparing the two. But my heart works deprecate from my brain and I can't help but think We may be able to work it out.. Again, please don't think less of my feelings for my current girl. It's just that things got confusing real fast... Thank you all...
A
female
reader, Anonymous 123  +, writes (3 September 2014):
 You know what answers you're going to get. Its obvious. You know what's the right thing to do. That's obvious too. Why then are you torturing yourself thinking about the girl who isn't worth even one single second of your time? She cheated on you, treated you like shit, she's been with other men...and now that she sees you're happy, she wants you. Why?
Maybe because she's bored. Maybe because she knows she can toy with you really easily and get away with it. Maybe because she gets a huge ego boost out of being with a love-struck guy like you. Maybe she's jealous of your girlfriend and wants to show her, "Look, after all that I did to him, he's still left you me". And maybe its all a big ego game for her because she knows that your girlfriend is better than her and she wants you back before you commit yourself to the other woman.
So many scenarios but honestly, WHY GIVE A DAMN? This woman is Bad News; she's selfish, she's a liar and a cheat.
However, if you still love her then take her back by all means. Its certainly not fair to your girlfriend to have to be with someone like you who doesn't respect and love her for who she is, but pines for the woman who broke his heart and treated him like trash. Go back to the first one because you still love her, remember? Go back, bask in the 30 seconds of happiness and then come right back here, asking for advice on how to deal with being dumped a third time and this time you will be all alone because your girlfriend will obviously never take you back.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 September 2014): I've been in her place. I had a life similar to your ex when I was in my teens. I had my karma from all those guys i dated previously. I was treated just the way I treated my fiance.
Eventually I had a reality check. I'm not getting any younger. Why am i searching for something so far away when the one I have been searching for is just infront of my eyes. I changed. I remained faithful. And we've been together for 4 years now.
My advice is, follow your heart. If you are ready for marriage, continue with your present girlfriend. If you still want to try to see if your ex changes for good, i'm afraid that you might have to break the heart of your present girl. A good and nice girl is hard to come-by. Sometimes, what you've been looking for is just infront of your eyes.
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A
female
reader, sugarplum786  +, writes (3 September 2014):
 Your ex is not in love with and continues to play with your emotions. She is messed up and history will repeat itself. Your new GF cannot be someone you settle for and you are not in love with her. Its unfair. You need to let both these woman go and start fresh with someone you can honestly say you love. Both these relationships will end in disaster.
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