A
female
age
36-40,
*lmc
writes:My boyfriend says we need to have more sex, and I thought we had sex a lot (about 4- 6 times a week). I just wanted to know how often do other couples (do you) have sex? And how long have you guys been together? Did you have more when you started or do you have more now? Thanks everyone hope everyone can give me there in put. Thanks so much. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, BettyBoup  +, writes (30 July 2010):
 I think what's healthy is what makes you both happy. Unfortunatly every individual has their own attitude towards sex as to how frequent they want/need it, and how that sex should be. People can have very different sex drives and if you want a relationship to work you need to find a compromise that both of you can live with.
4-6 times a week is pretty good. Ask your boyfriend, in an ideal world, how often he would like sex. Ask yourself what would you be happy with. If you think you could go a couple more times a week then go for it. Sex is good for you and your relationship. But if he wants sex 4 times a day and you only want every other day, make it clear you cannot have as much as he wants. Try to compromise.
For me, I would love to have sex 4 - 6 times a week! I've been with my partner 2 years, and we started out at 4-6 times a week, but now this has dropped to once or twice a fortnight, as he has lost his libido at the moment. He's 41 and is on blood pressure meds that reduce libido. I'm not really happy with this scenario as a fancy him to bits, but I'm holding out for him, as he is a wonderful person and when we do make love it is great and he's promised to make more effort. So it just depends on the relationship really.
A
male
reader, Serpico  +, writes (29 July 2010):
I am 42, my gf is 34. We have sex just about every night, and I think she'd want it every morning too if I wasnt so grumpy/tired in the mornings.
Feels completely "normal" to me....
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (28 July 2010): A helthy couple has sex as often as makes them both mutually happy. I have a frind-couple who are very close, but neither of them have a high sex drive. They average every other week and they are in their 30's with no kids. I averaged once a week in my former marriage, and did so for MANy years, even tho I am a 4x a week kinda person. Was that relationship healthy? On an intimacy level, no, it wasn't. But not because of frequency. It was unhealthy because the sex we DID have was scheduled for the last possible hour on a Sunday night, after everything was done, all the TiVo'd shows were watched, bills were paid the dog was fed and kids asleep. The lack of spontenaeity, passion, energy and spark killed it...not the frequency. There is no "yardstick" for an acceptable sex life, as someone put it. Healthy means happy. Happy means satisfying, and satisfying means loving, exciting and spontaneous. Not planned, scheduled, arranged.
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A
female
reader, EbonyBlossom +, writes (28 July 2010):
 I'm 18 and my boyfriend is 21. We've been together for just over a year. We have sex once or twice a week. Some people might say this doesn't sound healthy at our age but I think it's alright. Our relationship is ever improving, and not doing it too often makes it more special and less boring when we do it. In every other aspect we are great and our bond is very strong, and over time we've just fallen for each other more and more. I wouldn't worry too much. Sounds to me like you just have a very horny boyfriend!
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A
male
reader, daletom +, writes (28 July 2010):
What ** I ** did, or the frequency that ANYBODY else found satisfying, isn't a yardstick to measure what YOU do! Many couples include it as a loving part of nearly every day, and others do it as something special less often
My wife & I waited until we were married to have sex - and for the first year it probably averaged 15 times per week. Every morning for sure - most nights - and sometimes when I got home in late afternoon. It was probably after 2 years, maybe almost 3, before it dropped below a once-a-day average. (Weekends usually still followed the morning-and-evening pattern.)
That was in the historical period known as "B.C.". After children, the frequency declined. From our mid 40's into our 50's, it followed an irregular pattern - sometimes up to 3 or 4 times a week; sometimes a week or two between times. Now almost 60, we cuddle and make love around 5 or 6 times a month but sex with penetration and ejaculation is included only in about half of those events.
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A
male
reader, J.Gentleman  +, writes (28 July 2010):
 Well, I think you should talk to him about it, like a number of people already said, look for compromise, sex is great, but if you think its too much for you, then dont hold it in, tell him about it.
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A
male
reader, Illithid +, writes (28 July 2010):
 Everyone has a different level for "normal" but I'd say 4+ times a week is pretty decent for your average couple. Newlyweds and those newly living together might enjoy 10 times a week (or even more), but once you're a little more stable 4-6 is usually considered an active and rich sex life. But if he's got a high level of desire, he might want more. It's all about communication and compromise.
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A
female
reader, Oregongrl1 +, writes (28 July 2010):
Well at first its like you can't get enough of each other! and yes it slows down for many reasons? one is because when you get married you are now living together so you know you can have intercourse at any time. because you aint like an hour or living seperate from each other so you can't seem to get enough because you are leaving each other for the day! or evening! and also when you do at first have sex all the time its not that you get tired of one another you just become use to one another! and start doing other things w/ one another like hobbys or movies chilling its not all about sex anymore like it was at first. lets just say you are learning new things about one another each day not just sex anymore. you are normal and men can have it all the time if they can have their way. ask your boyfriend why that is discuss it w/ one another explore each others intelligence not just your bods.
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A
female
reader, Gabrielle Stoker +, writes (28 July 2010):
 Every couple is different. 4-6 times a week is pretty good but he just seems to have a higher libido than yours. Not unusual either way. If yours isn't at the same level, maybe you can gratify him in a less involved way? I favour handjobs myself.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (28 July 2010): No such thing as too much. The more the better.
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