A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Help, I can't understand why I've never dated a guy my own race or age. It's so weird...the other day, a man asked me if he was the first white man I've gone on a date with. I said no and this led to me admitting I always dated outside my race. He asked me why and I really couldn't answer. Why is that? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, SirenaBlusera  +, writes (31 July 2010):
 Hello Kid, how are you?
I think you are quite correct! In my case, though, it's more than just I wish I were Latin and more than just a liking for the Latin culture. Of course I love it, but I feel like I was meant to have been Latin.
On the other hand, I'm not attracted to "my own kind" because the whole "boy-next-door" thing seems lacking something, lacking adventure, thrill, and excitement.
It's a paradox, really, because I feel like I was meant to be Latin, but Latin culture still seems exciting and exotic yet familiar.
A
male
reader, Serpico +, writes (30 July 2010):
I am nordic white, and my gf is a beautiful Colombiana. I have only dated Latinas for the past 10 years. For me, I think it goes past just personal preference. I think genetically for the most part opposites attract. It does seem like nature predisposed us to mate with people with dissimilar DNA structures. Many genetic diseases are recessive - having children w someone w a very different genetic makeup minimizes the chance these recessive characteristics will pass on.
I recall an experiment on the NGC where they were testing sexual attraction. For one part of it, they took t-shirts from men who were working out and had women smell them. It seems that the less similar the men were to them the more attacted to the scent. Interestingly enough, in one case they took one of the girls brothers shirt and snuck it in w/o telling her. Upon smelling it, she became sick to her stomach. Goes to show that their DNA was too close....
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 July 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionEveryone, I can't thank you enough for your answers and inputs. I've been feeling so bad because some people have been accusing me of hating my own race (I most certainly DO NOT) and hate that I've never given my "own kind" a chance. But, with your responses, I feel much better :) Thank you
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A
female
reader, natmarie  +, writes (30 July 2010):
 Dont; worry about it .. at all!! jut s get on with liking who you like !! xx
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A
female
reader, SirenaBlusera +, writes (30 July 2010):
Maybe it depends on the person, I'm not sure.
I despise racism and racists but you like who you like. I've just always loved Latin culture and its magic, and thought Latin guys were amazing. If I fell in love with someone then I wouldn't discriminate against them based on race, though. :)
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A
female
reader, Gabrielle Stoker +, writes (30 July 2010):
 Its what you like at the moment. Big deal. There was a period in my life (a short one, but still...) when I exclusively hooked up with black guys. Its probably just a phase. As long as you don't consciously exclude people of a particular race from your consideration or get racist about it, what's the worry?
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A
female
reader, SirenaBlusera +, writes (30 July 2010):
I always date outside of my ethnicity too! Most likely Cerberus is right, you like who you like.
I'm super attracted to Latino guys. There's just something magical about the Latin culture. I've never really identified with my own culture and feel like I belong in the Latin world and that Latino guys understand me more than guys from USA.
This is just my case. There are many different reasons why someone would feel this way... but there's nothing wrong with it! :)
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 July 2010): I agree, I think it's just your personal preference. Nothing to be too worried about. Maybe you don't find that you have much in common with other people your race/age, and you get along with different kinds of people.
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A
female
reader, Oregongrl1 +, writes (30 July 2010):
Maybe because they treat you better? and you feel more secure w/ white men? there is nothing wrong w/ you dating out of your race! as long as your happy and feel good about you i wouldn't worry about it.
Sincerely
Oregongrl1
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A
male
reader, KidfromLA93 +, writes (30 July 2010):
There are many reason why you date interracially , but first off thats nothing bad if somebody says the opposite they are just stereotypical idiots and haters and they all can go to hell , its the 21st century racism should not be anymore!!!!!
One of the reasons would be you can connect to them better with your interests , for example if you like latin music and like latin culture you are most likely to go out with a latin person and many other examples like that of other cultures.
Or you grew up on a place where you only could reach socially your own race , maybe because your parents did not let you ,or you grew up in a white state where nobody else was. 10 years ago racism started almost go at the top again, because of the politicians and racial segregation started almost too , so the many communities did not communicate with each other and you were cut off too.
Of course we liberals and young people fought against that with success, today and the future will be different were race does not matter anymore.
People mostly do and did the mistakes with judging without knowing about it.
But lets get back to that what you said.
When you only have touch with your own race and you get in touch with other races ,white guys start getting boring for you because to you feels like always the same and you want to try something new and you feel more attracted to other races , because of optic and personal matter.
OR you had a interracial influence in your childhood like me for example my favorite tv show was fresh prince of bel air and the Bill Cosby show why i liked them , because for me it was cool to see something different than i always saw in my childhood. My first crush i ever had was on Vanessa Williams , because to me she looked more beautiful than any other girl in my race i ever saw , why because she was different , so i became attracted to other races with the time today i don't even date and can't date white girls anymore ,because i don't have a personal connection anymore i would make exceptions if she would be open minded as i am , but i only got a eye for other races about dating this all came with time before i had dated my own race , i am friends with anybody no matter what i just avoid racist people and stereotypical people.
People like us have the gift to be open minded and bring the communities together to be a equal society like it should be.
In the end we are all just humans not better or worser than each other.
You had no idea what to say because your love for other races developed in your childhood and you don't remember anymore how it developed it was a very long process.
The guy you date might be afraid that he can't give you what other man gave you, you had dated before which is silly , because everybody is an individual and everybody has a basic what personalty your loved one should have looks is a secondary thing.
Mostly matters is how the personality is from somebody.
I hope this helped and always be proud of what you like because that makes you an individual.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 July 2010): Sometimes we date who is available to us, or it could be that these men simply find you attractive and "exotic".
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 July 2010): Personal preference. Simple as that. It's just what you like.
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