A
female
age
30-35,
*herrybomb13
writes:So I have this friend named Ted, who I have gotten close with since December 2012. I used to like his friend, James, who I was pursuing a relationship with until I found out James was just playing games with me. Ted and I became friends when he was the first person to get tattooed by me when I started my apprenticeship. He comes to visit me a lot at the shop, drops by just to say hi, stuff like that. When he used to work down the block from me he would come see me everyday on his lunch break. Recently, he asked me if I wanted to be room mates and we also started planning a trip to Australia together. The other night, I was drunk and Ted and I were walking together to the train station, holding hands. When we got there, I was going to kiss him. Something told me to ask if he had a girlfriend. He said he did and showed me a picture of her. I asked him why he would do that, he knew I liked him first. He said if I hadn't dated James, he would definitely date me, and that he does actually really like me. I just got really mad and when my train came I just got on it without saying anything to him even when he tried to say goodbye. He then texted me saying "I really do like, its just you dated my friends and we are just really good friends. I will always love you." That was all like, two days ago. Today he called me and asked if I would go to New York with him because James bailed on him. What are Ted's intentions? If he has a girlfriend why does he want me to go with him? Why would he ask me to be room mates and take trips with him if hes not single? Please help, Im confused
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (17 June 2013): If you were drunk and he refused you he definitely sees you as a friend. Most people don't want to move in with peopole they want to fuck as they know it'd be messy.
A
female
reader, Cherrybomb13 +, writes (17 June 2013):
Cherrybomb13 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI figured he either wants to sleep with me or he just really sees
Me as a friend. When I was drunk i asked if i could go home with him and he kept saying he had a girlfriend.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 June 2013): "It isn't strange that he knows how I feel about him, yet still wants to go on an out of state trip with me?" No more strange than asking you to move in with him.
It's not strange OP, it's just a matter of understanding the game he's playing. He's not your friend, he hasn't been getting close to you in a platonic way, he's trying to get in your knickers. He's told you straight up he's not interested in a relationship with you and yet he keeps trying to get you alone and get romantic with you, all the while he's seeing someone else.
What I find more strange is the fact you really are not getting what this is or who you are to him. We don't even know him yet his intentions are clear as glass to us. For a woman who has already had one guy play games with her, you sure seem like you don't get this.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (17 June 2013):
 No, it's not " strange ". Or, in fact, it is just as strange as a NY city slicker tryng to sell Brooklyn Bridge to some naive foreigners. If there's people so dumb to show interest in such a purchase, why shouldn't the bridge seller try his luck. If there are girls who would consider the proposal of a romantic ,discreet trip out state by a spoken for man as the ultimate love declaration, well....
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (17 June 2013):
 How much clearer could this be???? Ted knows that James tried to "play games" with you, but failed..... so now HE's going to try to play games with you....
You saw it in James and dumped him... now, do the same with Ted. The games may not be just the same... but they're games, nonetheless....
P.S. For us guys, ALL the "games" are supposed to end up with us in bed with the girl we are "gaming"....
Good luck....
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 June 2013): Seems like you have a thing for guys who play games if you ask me OP.
You got rid of James for playing games well you need to do the same with Ted.
His intentions are pretty obvious don't you think? He's playing with your feelings already, so his intention is to play you and eventually bed you. Otherwise why do all this shit? He doesn't respect his relationship with his girlfriend and therefore won't respect one with you, he doesn't respect you or he wouldn't have said that bullshit about always loving you when he also said he won't get with you all the while knowing you like him, I mean who does he think he is? Whitney Houston? And IIIIII-eee-IIIII will always, love yoouuuuuuuu. OP you're only getting closer for 6 months and he'll always love you? The guy is a game playing creep.
Games OP, he's playing them and he's playing you. I mean he couldn't be doing more to set you up as side pussy. He wants you to be his room mate for sex on tap, I mean seriously what kind of "friend" does this kind of thing to a person he knows likes him who he also says he can never get with because of James? He wants you to go on a trip to New York, let me guess, hotel room, etc.
"Why would he ask me to be room mates and take trips with him if hes not single?"
Seriously do you really need it spelt out for you or you just hoping you got it wrong? Well you didn't get it wrong. The choice you have to make is whether you really want to be "friends" with a guy who has shown you so much disrespect and has no problem fucking with your head or your feelings?
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A
female
reader, CindyCares +, writes (17 June 2013):
Does it really matter what his intentions are ?... Personally I am a bit more suspicious than llifton,all this holding hands and I really like you does not suggest platonic friendship to me- I think that ,simply, he wants to have sex with you.
Anyway, he told you he has a girlfriend, and he told you he would not date you even if he were single since you have also dated his best friend- a bro's code thing. So... whatever he wants, he is not dateable for you, and if you are interested in something more than casual discreet encounters , - or in platonic friends if we choose llifton's theory - he's just not the right person for you.
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A
female
reader, Cherrybomb13 +, writes (17 June 2013):
Cherrybomb13 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionIt isn't strange that he knows how I feel about him, yet still wants to go on an out of state trip with me? Just the two of us, while he has a girlfriend who he has only been with for like two weeks?
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A
female
reader, llifton +, writes (17 June 2013):
 not really certain of his intentions. it is weird he didn't tell you he has a girlfriend. however, it's possible he just saw you as a friend the entire time and therefore didn't feel the need to mention it. but he's being crappy to his girlfriend by holding your hand and giving off mixed signals, etc. that's pretty inappropriate.
if i were you, i'd just let this one go. find a guy who's unattached. good luck.
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