A
male
age
,
anonymous
writes:After a short seperation my wife and I recently got back together again. we've been marrried 30 years. I've was worried she made have had an affair while we were seperated. after having sex with her for the first time in over a year I thought she would be much tighter in her vagina. Instead she is much looser and she makes farting noises in her vagina. #1 expansion #2 farts. Do I have good reason to be worried or could this happen naturally?
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affair, got back together, vagina Reply to this Question
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female
reader, person12345 +, writes (17 June 2013):
 Male anon no one is saying he shouldn't know, I'm not sure how you got from point A to point B there. What he is saying is that he suspects lying based on something that is medically impossible. Can you please point out the answer here where someone claims this is none of his business?
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (17 June 2013): Wait a minute, aren't there still a bunch of contagious STIs in this world? I swear there were the last time I checked.
Condoms don't come close to eliminating the risk. Even STI checks don't eliminate all the risks. That leads to one inevitable conclusion - The O.P. has the **RIGHT** to know if his wife has been with someone else during their separation.
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (16 June 2013):
 "And I was told that if she recently had an affair with someone that had a large penis and then slept with me with an average size penis that maybe an affair may have caused them. "
That's BS. Whoever told you this was messing around with you, trying to make you nervous. It's just BS, not true at all.
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A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (16 June 2013):
Who told you that? Because they are wrong. What probably has actually happened is that since you two haven't had sex in a year, everything feels different because it's been so long.
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A
female
reader, AuntyEm  +, writes (16 June 2013):
 Was the person who told you she would stretch if she had sex with a man with a large penis, a medically trained person?
Because I am medically qualified and I work in obstetrics and gynae medicine so I know what I am talking about.
Whoever told you this information doesn't know what they are talking about. All the other named aunts here have also said it's not possible, so you can rest assured that your informant mislead you.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 June 2013): Not having sex wouldn't make her vagina any tighter; only kiegel exercises makes a vagina tighter. Also, I would think that when a woman is having sex regularly, that she is using those muscles and is tighter as a result, and when she's not having sex she tends to be looser. If I'm wrong about that last comment, there's also a big (no pun intended) possibility that like most women, she was using a dildo or vibrator, and those things are huge.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 June 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for all the responses. I'm trying to work through the differences, this is not a deal breaker. We've been through a lot in the last 30. The only thing that bothers me are the fact that it never happened once in the first 30. And I was told that if she recently had an affair with someone that had a large penis and then slept with me with an average size penis that maybe an affair may have caused them. And as far as being seperated we've both been faithful for the first 30 and agreed not to stray until we'd decided weather this was the end or not. and now that were back together the noises started. that's why I wondered if they could happen naturally or what I was told which I could live with as long as she was honest about it. But I needed to know a few things before confronting her. So thank you all for the answers you gave. Just hope they don't last forever.
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A
female
reader, AuntyEm +, writes (15 June 2013):
To the anonymous who replied to me...
A large penis will NOT stretch a vagina permanently!!
A vagina is designed to get a baby's head through and then go back...a head is a much wider than a penis and contains skull...a penis is just flesh and muscle.
After having sex with a man who has a larger than average penis, a woman might feel sore or sensitive...but the size won't be permanently affected!
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (15 June 2013):
 If she's agreed to get back together and see if you and she can reconstitute your marriage... count your blessings and forget that you made this submittal.....
Good luck...
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A
female
reader, Euphoric29  +, writes (15 June 2013):
Dear OP,
I don't think that's evidence of an affair. Those noises are very embarrassing but it can happen. Happened to me even back in those days when I was still a virgin. Plus, I am sorry but after a year of no sex, are you sure you can remember the exact tightness of her vagina?
But anyway, the point I want to make is - you were separated. Technically, it was her right to have an affair since you both didn't know if you were getting back together. If you're unsure about whether she was with someone else, then ask her directly and see if you can live with the answer. If you want to get back as a couple, maybe you should focus on what brought you together again and leave the past behind. I know that's not easy.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 June 2013): If a woman doesn't have sex for a year, her vagina is not going to shrink because of that. And also is not going to widen if she had sex all the time. Vagina goes back after childbirth, with a head of a child going through it.
The farting noises I don't know if she never did it with you before. all I know in my experience, I had a guy once who I had it happened all the time. It never happened with other men, only with him. So I am assuming that a woman has nothing to do with it, but something has to do with a guy performance.
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A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (15 June 2013):
There are only a few things that can change the tightness of a woman's vagina: childbirth, aging, surgery, and hormones. Sex cannot change a vagina's tightness, no matter how often or not often it occurs.
Also the "farting" noise just happens when your penis pushes air into her vagina. It's called queefing, happens to most couples at least occasionally.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 June 2013): To auntyem: if she had an affair with a very large guy it could temporarily make her looser. I had a girlfriend cheat on me, and I decided to take her back. She confessed he had the biggest penis she'd ever seen (and she'd seen plenty). For a couple of days after she felt loose.
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A
female
reader, chigirl +, writes (15 June 2013):
You know, the farting sounds are your fault. You're pressing air into her by using the "wrong" technique. If anything I'd say the reason the sex is different is because it's been a year.. You lost some of the technique as the two of you haven't been together for a while, so things might take a little time to get back to the way it usually was.
And why would she be tighter? Women don't grow into virgins after a year of no sex.
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A
female
reader, AuntyEm +, writes (15 June 2013):
Your wife having an affair would not stretch her vagina. Not a woman of her age at least (if she is in your age range). It could be possible that if you yourself haven't had sex in that length of time that your penis may have lost a few millimeters of muscle mass and that is why things feel looser.
Women in their 40's and 50's go through hormonal changes and this can affect the lining of the vagina. Some women get a very dry vagina and others may over produce discharge. Any of these things could explain more accurately what is causing the difference but you seem deterinmined to be single track minded and wanting to accuse your wife.
Unless you have other evidence to back up your claim, you could be creating problems and drama out of nothing.
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (15 June 2013):
 Both happen naturally. Explanations for both are easily found on several reputable websites.
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