A
male
age
30-35,
*enkins
writes:Hey guys,This is my first post on here so I’ll give it a go.I have been with my girlfriend for about 15 months now and all my friends think she walks all over me and I don’t be the man in the relationship.Whenever I have a problem with anything she completely flips the situation onto me and my behavior saying I am stubborn and don’t compromise with her at all and am very selfish.The latest example was this weekend just gone on the Friday we had a date night of dinner and drinks at the pub.I told her I wouldn’t invite any friends and it would be nice to spend some quality time together.Half way through the night her friends came to the pub to join us for drinking which they weren’t invited and it just soured my mood.About 80% of the time I go drinking with her friends and they are just drama all night so I told my girlfriend I wanted to leave and she got angry at me saying I can’t have a good time ever.The Saturday we were invited to a nightclub for her friends birthday which I am not a nightclub fan but went anyway for my girlfriend to make her happy.She had one drink with me and her friends then left me on my own to go dance for half an hour during that time a girl next to me asked if I was out with my girlfriend and I said yes and my girlfriend walked over to me seeing that I was talking to another girl and stormed off and refused to talk to me so I left without saying goodbye and walked home to a string of abusive messages about talking to other girls when I was left alone in a nightclub and people are bound to talk to people.My point is I feel like I make the effort and go more than half way with her and if things don’t go her way I am stubborn asshole.She says that I am the one in the relationship doing it all where I feel like my argument is legitimate and logical.If you don’t want other girls to talk to me?Maybe don’t invite me somewhere and ditch me and then get angry when someone does.What you guys think?I am made to feel like I’m a monster who is crushing her with my stubborn selfishness and we are on the verge of breaking up and I really just can’t fight anymore because I think its stupid and maybe I’m better off being single
View related questions:
crush Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465  +, writes (14 August 2013):
 I wouldn't spend a minute thinking about what your "friends" say about the situation you described. Instead, reread your submittal, and then ask YOURSELF: "Is this the kind of "relationship" that I wish to have with a woman/girlfriend/wife?"
If the answer is "yes," then continue on as things are.... knowing just how this girl treats you. If the answer is "no," then decide that you deserve to be with a woman/ partner who treats you differently (better).... and take your leave of this woman....
NOBODY gets walked-upon unless, and EXCEPT that, they AGREE to it!!!!
Good luck.
A
male
reader, Jenkins +, writes (14 August 2013):
Jenkins is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks guys.There is a lot of good advice there.It made me feel a lot better!!.Most of which I can agree to.I kind of wish I had broken it off 3 months in when I saw that she had text messages in her phone from guys she used to see saying she wasn't seeing anyone when we had been together for 3 months which caused months of insecurities and trust issues for me and she was more angry that I went through her phone.The only reason I went through her phone was because she was still acting single and going out every weekend and barely responding to my texts.I work at 3am somedays and do full time university and she would get angry at me for being tired.I confronted her about these things yesterday saying it seems like she's always trying to change me and I never said anything bothered me about her besides those things to which she replied "yeah, I try really hard not to do those things because you don't like it"I thought not talking to people you used to sleep with, not going out every weekend and not being angry at someone for being tired is pretty much what a relationship is...well it is to me anyways.I know she is starting to think she could actually lose me now which scares her.Talking about this makes me sound like a loser hahaWhen I am single I get a lot of opposite sex attention and I can safely say that I am a really friendly guy and treat everyone I meet as equals and don't expect anything from anyone than to be themselves.I think me and my girlfriend are at different points in our lives and our needs are just not complimented by each others needs so its me trying to suit hers constantly and not meeting my own needs and in a way resenting both her and myself for going against what I believe and value.Sorry to be a downer guys.The ironic thing is psychology haha
...............................
A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (14 August 2013):
Sounds like she's not the girl for you. Some people just aren't compatible and no amount of talking about it will change that.
There are techniques for dealing with a person like her, but why bother? You'll have to act in a way that's not natural for you. It's easier to just break up and find someone who makes you happy.
For future reference, if you put up with this behavior in the beginning of your relationship it sets a bad president. DON'T TAKE SHIT FROM ANYBODY AND DON'T FEAR THE REPROCUSSIONS. If you aren't afraid of walking away from a relationship they'll sense it and adjust their behavior. If they think they can get away with anything they will.
...............................
A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (14 August 2013):
 There is bro before hoes, and there's also chicks before dicks. She's unable to allow space for the relationship to grow because she has no power saying to her friends that you are important in her life. Her idea of fun is too immature for your taste. She wants a boy to obey her and if you stay in this then you are not a man.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 August 2013): Your gf is really selfish, entitled, childish and manipulative. You say you're on the verge of a break up? Don't be on the verge anymore, you should initiate the break up!!! seriously, this woman seems to view relationships as not being a two-way street but something that should benefit only her while she doesn't have to compromise anything. Don't bother trying to be nice or reason with her anymore, her mind is made up that she only wants her way.
...............................
|
