A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi everyone. Please tell me if I am overreacting. My boyfriend asked me to marry him and I said yes, we agreed to marry in December. This was 2 months ago. We do not have a ring yet. He says he is saving. We have not discussed that again, I accepted he must save and I will wait. We also have not yet discussed wedding details. Last week he started telling me about a hiking trip he would like to go on, and that he would like to do it in December! (He likes hiking I don't he always goes alone, no problem at all with that). But in December? We will either be getting ready for wedding, on honeymoon or newlyweds. Would you plan a trip alone? I said this to him and he said I am too critical and he was just mentioning it, and we must still get married in December. We didn't talk about it again. Now I am confused. It's like he forgot about planning his own wedding! In that case I think he didn't mean it and I shouldn't have believed he did.
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (14 August 2013):
 I'm with Tisha.
unless you are planning the courthouse if you have no officiant, no invitations, no venue, no dress then it's NOT Happening
IF you are planning the courthouse you can firm it up now by setting a date to
a. go get your license you can do that now since usually they are good for 6 months... find out how long they are good for in your state and say "honey we have to go get our license WHEN do you want to do it?" and PIN HIM DOWN to a date... do not let him say "soon" or "later" or "eventually" YOU WANT A DATE for that and for the wedding at the court house..
b. what date in December at the courthouse are you going
c. who are you having for witnesses
d. are you going out for lunch and taking your guests?
I'm thinking he's giving you lip service here.
A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (14 August 2013):
 Well a lot of people just get married in the city hall with no rings. No church no honeymoon, no family members no nothing. But in this case I do think he is trying to gauge your reaction, and to stop you from talking about marriage again. Either that or he has a severe memory problem. I remember at university my roommate was engaged to her man. They are both professionals. He proposed to her, the setting was perfect but then was utterly humiliated that the ring wasn't in his pocket. So he had to propose again at another time. After 8 years they are still married. I just have to wonder, are women the only gender who's concerned with all that extra stuff? What does marriage mean to a man?
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (13 August 2013):
 Forget the ring. Do you have a venue, an officiant and a party planned? No? Then you are not getting married in December.
Is there some reason you can't discuss the details with him, or are you concerned that he will unask you to marry him?
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (13 August 2013):
 The only "planning" that a guy does for his wedding, is to mark his calendar on the appropriate day... and to mark that calendar date with "be sure to shower"....
Other than that, this December will be just like any other December, as far as he is concerned....
Good luck....
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 August 2013): It's August, and December was nearly eight months ago.
You must be really naive. Was he sober or high when he made his proposal?
I suggest that you not take this guy seriously. He will come up with a new excuse and/or reason, to put it off indefinitely.
If you've been pressuring him for marriage, consider it a broken promise; and move on.
You are too desperate, and he isn't ready. He knows you'll wait as long as he puts it off.
The guy has no intention of marrying you anytime soon. He has the upper-hand. It isn't going to happen until he decides to go through with it.
Unless you're going to hold a gun to his head. You can continue waiting.
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